I wore braces aged 12-16, starting with a removal device for my overbite, moving to an upper palate expander and finally metal braces. I got a clear essix retainer once they were all removed. I did the usual wear, reducing to a few times a week now, at age 25.
My time in braces was unremarkable, initially I refused – embarrassed by the prospect of my friends seeing me in them but then realised I was also embarrassed by my smile so agreed. Although they weren’t pleasant they also weren’t awful and I don’t look back with regret or pleasure – it’s just a period of my life.
I have always been pleased with my smile since the braces, I keep up with the retainer wear and didn’t expect any difficulty.
A couple of months ago, my life changed. Where I’d held down a steady job suddenly my employer closed down and I was unemployed. I’d never faced this situation before and couldn’t afford the rent to live on my own anymore. Luckily I had a supportive family around me and ended up moving back into my parents house – living in my old room and feeling like I was 16 again.
I relied on my parents for support as I got knocked back, interview after interview. They were fairly wealthy, living comfortable and having money spare for whatever they wanted so were able to offer me the cash I needed to get my life back on track.
One day my mum came home, grumpy after being told she had another cavity to be filled. She had a terrible bite and bad teeth that were never fixed causing her problems later in life that kept cropping up. In the last year she had 3 cavities filled and 2 teeth removed as they crumbled apart. Luckily she was family friends with our dentist and they gave her a good insurance package to cover everything she needed and always took good care of her.
“Becky, I saw Dr Goldman today, I told him you were staying with us for a while – he mentioned you were overdue a cleaning and a check up. I scheduled one in for you tomorrow – they had a cancellation. Don’t worry – I’ve added you to our insurance so it wont cost you anything”. I started to protest – although not afraid as such I never enjoyed a dentist visit and liked time to psych myself up for it. She held up her hand defiantly “you need to start taking good care of your teeth or you’ll end up like me. I noticed your bottom tooth is wonky again – are you still wearing your mouthguard?” I rolled my eyes, “retainer mum, and yes – I wear it once a week”. She frowned slightly, “well, we’ll ask them if that’s enough tomorrow. You don’t want to lose that lovely smile of yours.” I stopped what I was doing “we? I’m not 5 mum, I can go to the dentist on my own.” She tutted “actually, I was coming to sign some of the insurance forms. I’m sure Dr Goldman won’t mind if I do it when I go back next week though. He knows us well enough.” I nod then walk away quickly, running my tongue over my teeth as I do, taking mental note of the slightly wonky lower incisor.
I wake up the next morning, scrubbing my teeth extra hard today then get dressed and make my way to the dentist office. I park my car and take a few deep breaths, not sure why I’m feeling so nervous but there is a nervous feeling in my stomach I can’t ignore. I walk in on autopilot.
Our dentist office is familiar to me, it’s actually combined with my old orthodontist office – they work at separate ends but the idea of having them all in one office was super easy when I was younger. I think back over the years, wondering how many hours I have spent sat waiting for appointments then even more hours in the dental chairs.
I walk up to the receptionist, she smiles back at me immediately “hey becky, here for your check up?” I nod quickly and smile back slightly. “We haven’t seen you for ages, back home again now?” My cheeks flush – the shame rising quickly ‘yep, wont be long though hopefully. Just gotta get back on my feet’. She nods encouragingly and informs me that it wont be long.
I sit in the waiting room, watching as people come and go from their own appointments. I spot the smug people whose teeth are clearly fine, the grumpy ones whose aren’t and the self conscious teens pouring out of the orthodontist – the tell tale signs of the red eyes or cheeks and the pursed lips, desperate to cover up their new mouthwear.
After a few minutes the dental nurse comes out to get me, she’s somebody I haven’t met before and I follow her sheepishly into the office and settle myself on the chair as she puts a dental bib around me.
Dr Goldman came in, beaming widely at me “Hey Becky! How are you? It’s been a while hasn’t it? Let’s check on those pearly whites then shall we?”
The chair start to recline slowly, I always think this is one of the worst bits – its so slow and the anticipation builds as it goes down. Once I’m fully flat he positions the light onto my mouth and I open up widely. I tune out as he goes through the check-up, I wiggle my fingers and toes to distract myself as he mumbles to his assistant. I’m pulled back into reality when he asks me if I have any pain or problems? “erm no? everything feels pretty good to me” yesterday flashes back into my head and I quickly add “this tooth here though on the bottom is twisted slightly. I still wear my retainer about once a week and it never feels too tight. Is that enough or should I increase the amount I wear it?” He leans in again, peering more closely and tapping a few of my teeth. “Hmm, yes I see what you mean. Shall we take some x -rays and see what we can do?” I shrug and he goes to work eagerly, I sit through the xrays which are quick then more prodding and poking. He gets me to open and close a few more times, then turns the light off and sits me up. He hasn’t spoken yet and I look at him in anticipation, the sympathetic look on his face makes the knot in my stomach grow more.
“I’m going to nip and see if Dr Lewns can come in and take a look. We can discuss it together then, ok?” I frown slightly “My old orthodontist?” He nods slightly “Yes, the orthodontist working within the practice. I want to see his suggestion”. He doesn’t wait for me for me to respond and instead leaves quickly. I crane round to judge the dental nurses reaction but she is focused on her paperwork. Instead I sit and fiddle with my fingers nervously, the tension growing as time goes on. I slide my tongue round my teeth and clench my jaw – testing my bite.
After 5-10 minutes have passed I hear the two mens footsteps approach again and the door swings open. I try to smile at them both but it comes out more as a grimace, deep down at that moment I knew I was doomed.
“Hey Becky” Dr Lewns beams at me, I smile slowly, the nerves growing. “Dr G here told me there has been some relapse? Open wide for me and let’s take a look shall we?”
The chair begins to recline again, the slow motor whirring as my heart pounds. I open widely and instantly the lip spreaders are placed in my mouth. All the memories come flooding back. Dr Lewns makes many concerning noises as he checks my teeth. He pauses and looks at me, rolling his chair around so he is facing me but doesn’t sit me up. He whispers to the dental nurse and she hurries out the room. I lay there flat, lip spreaders in with the light shining in my face and know instantly it isn’t good news. I’m not sat up and on my way out with some reassurance to increase my retainer time. Dr Lewns grimaces at me.
“So, there has been some movement for sure. It’s not just the crowing that worries me. Your wisdom teeth have come in and that’s caused everything to shift a bit. You have some crowing on the lower jaw and your upper incisors are twisted. Your bite has also shifted, you have an overbite and I notice you’ve been grinding your teeth. Overall this isn’t what we’d hoped for and to prevent any future problems I think it’s best we utilise this opportunity to get you back into some appliances. We’ll get the nurse to take some impressions and I’ll go and grab my bits to put some spacers in” I start to protest mildly but he cuts me off “I know it’s not exactly what you wanted to hear I’m sure but this really is critical. You’re risking causing irreversible damage and with the speed of deterioration there is clearly some great forces here that we need to react to. You don’t want to lose your teeth in a few years do you?” Hearing that terrifies me and I confirm that he should go ahead.
Quickly the nurse comes back in and prepares the impression trays. Dr lewns takes the lip spreader out and places a paper towel over me, the nurse comes overhead and I notice the goopy trays. First the upper one, making me heave and then the lower which is never as bad. As I think it’s all over she brings another one over – this tray is something I’ve never seen before. It has a top and bottom tray together, it looks like a giant ball of goop. She places it into my mouth and it goes further back, touching my soft palate. I heave again and try breathing through my nose. She rubs my cheeks kindly “This one is awful but it tells us how your bite is sitting, it also gives us a better idea of how any all in one appliances could be molded. Wont be long now.” Quickly it dries and she pulls it out my mouth. There is no reprieve though as the lip spreader goes back in and Dr Lewns gets to work placing the rubber bands between my teeth. He seems to be taking a long time and I begin to get nervous again, just as im about to ask him what is happening he announces we are finished.
“Right, book an appointment for Friday morning with me. I will have your treatment plan set by then and we can get started. Now I’m going to need you to promise me you’re motivated to do this, it isn’t going to be an easy process ok? People tend to struggle more with it as an adult, especially the little extras plus movement is often harder to achieve and takes longer. It’ll all be worth it though, hey?”
I am not too sure what he means but at this point I am desperate to get out of the office, it feels like I have been part of a prank show – going in for a routine appointment and coming out again with orthodontic treatment. My hands are clammy and my heart is pounding. I nod and mumble an agreement so he lets me go. I schedule my appointment and race quickly back to my car. I take a few deep breaths and then slowly lean up towards the mirror, checking the spacers and frowning slightly when I realise how many there are. Last time I had 6. This time I have 20! 10 on each jaw, 5 on each side extending from my wisdom teeth all the way to my canines. I’m guessing it’s just to try and create as much space as possible since he said it can be hard to move teeth at this point. It’s probably just to hope that at least some of them create a gap that he can use to get the 4 molar bands on. My heart rate has calmed down but I still feel in a daze. I sit for a few minutes and realise, this is it. I’m going to have braces. How did I agree to this?!
