Hey, so a bit of mixed feelings I guess. I definitely got used to the feeling of them, I like kinda playing with them a lot (like feeling the brackets/wire with my tongue or touching them with my finger). I personally like how they look and I’m way more used to my appearance with them and that shock factor I had at first died down. They don’t cause any difficulty eating either and pain I had is gone, which is nice
So socially is where the mixed feelings come in. With the friends who I told/or reacted and made a comment when they saw me with them, I’m mostly comfortable around and am starting to lose the self consciousness. It helps that they all commented (either positively or something very neutral showing they don’t care) so I don’t have to wonder what they think. I have a bit of awareness when I laugh or smile (like oh, they’re seeing my braces now) but It isn’t interfering much.
One girl was an exception though, I don’t think this was bad intentioned but she just found it very
funny that I have braces apparently, and was laughing some and brought them up around a few other people like “isn’t it funny that (my name) has braces now?”. I know she was poking fun, but I wish I had said something witty or stood up for myself after that…and I guess it may have impacted how I think people will perceive someone my age with braces a bit.
But with people who either have seen me and haven’t commented, or people I’m purposefully hiding them around for whatever reason (it’s dumb but I find myself doing this), I feel very awkward and self conscious still. I’m either wondering if they saw and thought something negative and so aren’t commenting, or wondering if they have seen them at all, or I’m actively trying to hide them (which is awkward to do I’m sure you can imagine..like smiling weird, talking less, looking away to talk…it’s bad). I wear a mask in a fair amount of places so some people haven’t seen at all because of that, but in other situations my mask is off and I’m still trying to hide, or awkwardly have my mask just covering my mouth lol.
I don’t know…I wish I could bring them up with everyone who hasn’t seen me with them yet (or who I don’t know if they’ve noticed) to “break the ice” so to speak. That way I don’t have to wonder if they saw them or if they care, and won’t have to awkwardly try to hide them anymore. But I’m not sure how to bring them up and it makes me feel embarrassed to a bit. I think if I ever get to the point where everyone who knew me before braces (or 90% of them) has seen them/commented, I’ll be way more comfortable. But right now, I’m at like 4% of people i know having for sure seen my braces/commented.
Feel like part of the why I’m embarrassed about them is because of this kink and braces never being ‘normal’ to me, and partly because I feel like I’ll be perceived as less attractive with them by most people. I just have to face my insecurities. I already feel like skipping social events and things or not seeing certain people because of my braces..and I really don’t want to be like that the whole year or more I have them. I really want to overcome the insecurity. I have two events this week that are social and involve food and if I go, people will surely see my braces (or it’ll be very awkward to hide). Also, I’m getting my bottom braces this week and the events are after that, so I REALLY won’t be able to hide them and i might have a bigger noticeable lisp. I think I only managed to hide them while talking because my bottoms weren’t on (and even then a few people noticed).
Id feel really bad missing either of these events, but knowing I’ll have top and bottom braces by then and unable to hide them kinda makes me want to
? Could use some encouragement maybe. Also, the next appointment I could pick a bright color or something (silver right now, which I don’t hate but I’m a little bored of), but knowing I have these events and might look for a job soon makes me hesitant about going crazy with color. Color makes them stand out more in my opinion.
Anyways, I know that this maybe wasn’t the most exciting update (my insecurities are getting in the way of things). I really hope to overcome these insecurities someday and feel confident even with braces. I get my bottoms on (and a thicker wire and a chance for new color) in either 3 or 4 days. So part of me is excited because the experience can be a turn on from a kinky aspect, and I’ll finally have the full set and feel ‘complete’. Other part is nervous because they’ll actually be very visible and I won’t be able to hide them at all when talking, and worried they’ll give me a big lisp, and cut up my cheeks even more than the top (and dealing with the soreness all over again).