If we're talking dream scenarios, I say throw caution to the wind and get creative!
Start out with old style full metal bands on EVERY tooth. Much less comfortable, much more noticeable. Because of these metal bands, a lot more time will have to be devoted to just keeping your braces clean, so they're also more impractical. Next, each and every bracket has an elastic hook on it, so it's sure to irritate your cheeks and lips, making them puff out and exposing your shiny metal mouth for the world to see! Of course, the archwire has to be as weak as can be. This way, your treatment time is as long as possible, leaving plenty of time for you to enjoy a full assortment of appliances!
First, your expanders in both jaws, turned once every two weeks, to really drag out the time it'll take to widen those arches so they stay in as long as possible, all the while getting food stuck in them making cleaning even more of a nightmare!
Along with these are a lovely set of tongue spurs on each arch, made wide enough to clang into each other, making fully closing your mouth impossible unless you want your tongue to get shredded.
Now that you're rocking a painfully obvious lisp, let's saddle you up with a special kind of double headgear, a facebow for each jaw! Topped off with a nice set of Neon Green and Hot Pink headgear straps, just so there's no chance of hiding it.
With an ungodly mess of florescent colored elastics in 24/7, finally we wrap up with a bulky set of Neon Green Lip Bumpers for each jaw, just to make sure there isn't any chance of hiding that beautiful work of metallic art! You might as well smile, cause with your treatment time, you'll have all of this in for a solid 10 years! Lucky you
10 years ain't enough? Well don't worry, by the time you reach that milestone you'll be so used to your metal mouth, you wont want to have any of it taken out! But don't worry, we'll wrap it up with a set of permanent retainers, cemented into you mouth and connected by a set of piston arms on each side just to keep things interesting for you. Can't have a mouth that's too easy to clean! Enjoy