The next week was hard as I attempted to adjust to all my new appliances. My speech had got no better and although my friends were polite I could tell they were embarrassed for me. School was incredibly difficult and I found myself withdrawing slightly. I spent more time at home with Jessica who was actually very sympathetic and was cooking me lot of soups to eat so I didn’t have to chew.
My dad came home a few days later and I could see he was shocked by it all and later that evening I heard him and Jessica whispering about my treatment. I felt embarrassed to my core, even in my own home I felt uncomfortable with my family seeing me like this.
My saliva was still building up despite the device being in my mouth a week now and I found myself dribbling at night.
I was supposed to have my headgear in from 8pm-6am but I couldn’t stand Jessica or Dad to see me in it so I often didn’t put it in until 10pm but I figured a couple of hours couldn’t make a difference.
Finally the week was over and my appointment was the next morning for a cleaning with the hygienist which I was nervous about as my teeth were still throbbing. Usually it only took a few days to settle but because the expander and the headgear were keeping everything moving it was as painful as the day after having everything fitted.
As Jessica’s car pulled up outside the office she reached into her bag and pulled out my headgear pouch, my eyes widened and I began to shake my head but Jessica quickly put her hand on my knee and silenced me “remember, it’s his rules – all appliances to be worn when you’re in the office”, I sighed loudly and used the car mirrors to get it into the molar tubes, Jessica then helped me to quickly put the three straps over my head, behind my head and round my neck then secured them to the facebow “good girl”. My shoulders stooped as we got out the car and I walked with my head down until we got to the office and waited to check in. The receptionist smiled broadly at us, showing off her own gleaming white teeth “good morning, what’s your name please?”. Usually Jessica checked me in but she turned to me and encouraged me to speak, I took a deep breath “iiii eeeyyyeee gaaaavvviiisss”, Jessica grimaced at me slightly then faced the receptionist “Ellie Davis” the receptionist checked her computer, great I can see you’re here for a cleaning and a check with John – unfortunately there was an emergency this morning so clinic is sightly delayed but please take a seat and we will be with you as soon as we can be”. We turned the corner and my heart sank again as I realised the delay with clinic meant a nearly full waiting room, everyone stopped and stared as I sat down but tried to pretend they hadn’t. Jessica tried to strike up a conversation with me but I didn’t want everyone to hear my lisp to a murmured responses until she finally got the message and flicked through a magazine. Around 10 people came and went while I sat there and each time somebody new turned up my cheeks burned with shame again, most of them were younger teens and I instantly felt very uncool.
Finally my turn came, they called me back and I sat down quietly in the chair, the hygienist appeared and smiled warmly at me while pointing at my facebow “good job wearing that in the office today, I’ll pop it out in a minute, just relax and I will be done quickly today”. I nodded and let her recline my chair slowly, I opened my mouth just as she put the lip spreader in. she moved my face side to side, having a good look inside my mouth “john said you had the full works and he was NOT joking, poor girl” I grunted in response – unsure what to say.
The cleaning didn’t take long at all but hurt all the time with how tender my teeth are. She sat me up and let me rinse and then disappeared. Jessica whispered quickly “I wonder if John has any other surprises in store for you today?” my stomach dropped as I hadn’t even thought about that – I thought it was a simple check. Before I’d had chance to run through any of the possibilities John came right “right then ladies let’s see what’s happening with that busy mouth of yours”. I opened and closed obediently as John poked around and let him slip the facebow in while hoping there was nothing to be added. Finally he took a few measurements, slipped my headgear straps on and sat down next to me. “it all looks good, the bite plate is in a good position for now – as your top jaw expands more we may have to move it slightly but for now it’s great. There isn’t any jaw movement from the headgear yet but it’s only been a week – we will just keep an eye on it. Keep up the good work – actually while you’re here, I’m going to give those expanders an extra couple of turns today.” He reached behind him quickly and grabbed the tool, he opened my jaw and did two turns on the bottom and three on the top. The pressure was there immediately again and I winced slightly as my jaws attempted to close. “your lower jaw is looking great actually, not long until we have reached where I want that to be expansion wise. I’ll check that next week. Now any questions either of you?” Jessica shook her head and then they both looked at me expectantly ‘ IIII shhhillll caaaarrr gaaalllk welllll” “you still can’t talk well? Well it’s a big change for your mouth and you’re very early on – it will get easier but practicing is key.” Jessica piped up quickly “she has been more quiet, I think she’s embarrassed”. John nodded solemnly “I can understand that but the more you talk the easier it is. Keep talking regularly, reading aloud, chatting to friends. Your tongue will adapt but we may need to accept that this could be close to your new baseline for speech while you have these devices” I nodded quietly and murmured a thank you as John showed us out.
We walked through the waiting room which was still busy and straight out into the car park. I climbed in the car and immediately took out my headgear. I wiggled my jaws slightly, trying to stretch them out but the pain remained. “still sore?” I nodded sadly “ok come on, you can’t have a day off for every appointment but you may as well wait until lunchtime now before heading back to school. I’ll make us something soft to eat while you freshen up” I mumbled gratefully as Jessica drove back home and I wallowed in self pity. I rushed up to my bedroom to inspect my expander and see if I could notice any difference but I couldn’t. I tried smiling in the mirror a few times but it horrified me so I instead tried to practice heading the metal mess by closing my lips. I realised I had been upstairs a while so headed back down and heard Jessica finishing off a phone call, as I turned the corner she smiled at me “so, that was school – I told them you’ll be in at 1pm buuuut I was remembering what John said and so I took it upon myself to tell them at school about your speech problems and I’ve asked them to encourage you to speak during classes and to interact with the class more!” my temper flared as I heard that “WAAAAT, gaaattsss nooo faaaaiiirr, iiii shhhoouund shoooo shhhthuupiddd” Jessica shook her head “no you don’t, you sound like a sensible girl who is undergoing some intensive medical treatment right now. People will understand. Sure it might be a shock at first but they’ll soon get used to it. You need to practice.” Tears welled in my eyes but I blinked them away and sat silently as I ate my soup. Finally Jessica grabbed the bowls and told me it was time to go, I grabbed my school bag and slumped to the car. The journey went quickly and we were pulling up outside school in no time. Jessica rubbed my shoulder and encouraged me to get out the car. I felt the nerves building up as I walked back into school but knew I needed to get it over and done with.
