I’ve finally had a very public headgear adventure. Scary as hell.
As a teenager, I’ve had the classic railway-track braces, and along with that, the finest torture implement since the iron maiden: a cervical headgear. I fricking HATED that thing. I remember the day I got it, it kinda sucked, the next day I wore it to school… and never again. I refused point-blank to wear it to school.
In fact, I refused point-blank to wear it.
But I was just a lad, and every now and then my mum would grumble at me and I’d wear the damn thing, but one thing I refused to do was wear it out in public. I had the public experience at the ages of 12, 13 and they were all negative. I could feel the stares of thousands of eyes and I just could not handle it.
However, as “early teenage” gave way to “puberty” and I start discovering girls, and these strange things I later learned were called “fetishes”, I started to develop a mild and inexplicable enjoyment of the occasional headgear-session. I’m a bit of a bondage nut, have been my entire life, and I started to see braces, and headgear, as a very interesting form of bondage.
When I was 17, my 1st set of braces, along with my much hated cervical headgear, were removed and that was that. I had braces twice more since that – I’ve had an incredible amount of problems with my teeth and jaws – but never had the headgear.
Fast-forward a good couple of years where I’m now a grown man. I still have my teeth problems, and about 3 years ago I gotten a new retainer to prevent me from getting railway tracks a FOURTH time. But I managed, somehow, to get my ortho to give an interlandi headgear with it. (Other mentions of my headgear/braces adventures are on these pages, so you are free to look them up.)
Anyway, I’ve indulged in my headgear from time to time, but the ghastly childhood memories of the thousands of stares always prevented me from going public. I’ve had two or three public appearances, but really, nothing to write home about. Every time I went “public” with my gear it was at places where the chances of being seen was slim to none. (an adventure of mine here:
https://www.bracesforum.net/smf/general/a_headgear_adventure-t8351.0.html)
Anyway, I have a few friends who share my love for the kinky side of life. I was huge in the BDSM scene a few years ago, but I basically totally withdrew from the lifestyle. I still think kink, but I hardly ever do anything. I still see my friends though, and one of these is a lady who knows my fetishes and my odd thing for braces and headgear. I wear it whenever we have a visit, which is cool. Its not often, maybe 6 times a year, if that many, but basically for the last 2 years I don’t think she’s seen me without it. Often times when we visit I lock it on (yes, I managed to get it lockable -
https://www.bracesforum.net/smf/general/the_mythical_locking_headgear-t8183.0.html;msg75169 ), and I give her the key so that I can’t take it off. This is a nice little mindphuck.
Right – 500 words of back-story later, we get to the fun part. A few days ago my friend and I were just chatting via MSN, and we started “teasing” each other with our fetishes. I had her do something for me, (not going to go into specifics, as she’s not here, and that will just be impolite and unfair towards her) and in turn, she asked me to wear the my headgear. And we chatted the night away, both of us in some kind of fetish for the other one’s enjoyment. Then she said to me, out of the blue: “Come over to me on Wednesday. Bring your headgear, I’m taking you public.” No “hey, do you want to play”, no “why don’t we try something”, it was basically an order. No room for negotiation, no asking me my opinion, no nothing.
Did I crap myself? You bet your arse I did!
Where? At a mall. How long? As long as she wants to. Do I have a say in this? Yes, I can say no. but if I say yes to this, its on her terms – its all-or-nothing.
So I have two largely sleepless nights. I consider this thing. I had my headgear now for about 4 odd years, and never did a “deep” public experience. Do I have enough guts to do it? Come Wednesday morning (We both are self-employed, no office hours for us!) I arrive at her place, headgear in hand, and we sit and talk it through. I can pull out, I don’t have to. I take a deep breath, and nod. Yes, let’s do this. I put in my retainer, my headgear with the locking straps (as explained above) and she uses a cable-tie to lock it in place. (I drew the line at an actual physical padlock for this adventure) . I’m unable to remove this thing from my mouth and head now.
And then she takes me by the hand, and leads me to her car, and takes me to the local mall. In the parking lot she asks me one more time if I want to go through with this. I nod, and step out of the car. She smiles at me, and from her pocket takes out a nail-clippers, the one we would use to snip open the cable-tie holding my headgear on. She puts it on the car’s dash-board and locks the car.
Now I’m in.
I consider myself a reasonably good writer, but I do not think I can describe the feelings I felt at that moment. Just sitting here, typing it, remembering it, my stomach feels all funny and fluttery, my hands are shaking, my heart is pounding as if I’d just taken a run with Usain Bolt. It was one of the most intense feelings I’ve felt in my life.
Then she takes me by the hand and leads me into the mall… I’m not sure my feet touched the floor. I felt all floaty and woozy, and I’m sure a million people stared at me – though no one gave me a second glance. We go to a coffee shop and, mercifully, go to the smoking area, (I do not smoke though my friend does) which is nearly deserted. I could “hide” in the deserted smoking area.
My friend orders a coffee and I order a beer, and then she orders a meal! I am unable to eat with my retainer in. Sitting there, watching her eat, my stomach growling, was one of the most thrilling-yet-disturbing feelings of my life.
We sat there for about 2 hours, just chatting about everything from braces to beer to her boyfriend, and then she says “enough hiding, time to get out of here”. Again, she takes me by the hand and leads me outside, and I’m in the hustle and bustle of the main area of the mall. As a man of 37, I felt like a boy of 5, and while I’m not the biggest of blokes around, I felt about 3 feet tall. I felt as if I had a big pink neon sign strapped above my head saying “look at me, look at me”.
Then she went to the ladies’... Leaving me for the 1st time alone in the mall. There I stood, alone, and I realised just how much “protection” she was giving me. while I was with her, it was somehow okay. Scary, but okay. Standing there alone with this thing on…. Well..
I’ve felt fear before. Once I felt fear when doing a shark-dive, without a cage, on the coast of Mozambique (7 ragged-tooth sharks coming up to sniff you to find out what the heck you are has a way of loosening the bowels). I felt fear when I got a phone call to tell me my dad was in a car accident. All the scary moments of my adult life – I doubt I was ever as scared as this. I don’t know why, its just bloody headgear, but…it was still a knee-watering experience.
She came out of the loo, and drove me home.
We were in the mall for about two and a half, 3 hours. It wasn’t a big mall. And it was at a “poorer” part of town. It was on a Wednesday morning. It was not too busy, and the type of people there are not usually the type to care too much about appearances. And yet, it was scary as hell.
I won’t do it again. Ever.
We’re talking about going to a more upmarket place on a Friday afternoon next…
…and again, unlike most of the stories on this website, this adventure is 100% true. Here is a picture my friend took with my BlackBerry. You can see some people in the background of the coffee shop. You can also see the “locking strap” I mentioned earlier coming from the face-bow hook. Sorry for the pixellation, but I am a professional, and I’m also an ugly bastard.
https://dereferer.me/?https://dereferer.me/?http://i50.tinypic.com/24b9h0p.jpg
