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Author Topic: New Writing Challenge  (Read 8197 times)

Online Sparky

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New Writing Challenge
« on: 07. November 2023, 13:13:54 PM »
Last year, I set a challenge: write a story of less than 2500 words, and inevitably including braces. Last year's topic was "Snakes and Ladders", and we had several really great stories, and some imaginative interpretations of that title.

The autumn is with us one more, with darker colder evenings... in fact perfect conditions for writing a story, so I reckon it's probably a good time to set you all a new writing challenge!

So, once again, please write a story in under 2500 words, this time on the theme of "On the Bus": that doesn't need to be the title, you can call it what you want, and feel free to interpret the theme in any way you like. Just to add in a bit more fun, I need you to also include the words "Pink" and "Cornflakes" somewhere in the story!

No prizes, apart from that feel-good factor you'll get from hitting the keyboard with your fingers, and creating something wonderful!

Offline napacaster

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #1 on: 08. November 2023, 03:38:24 AM »
Challenge accepted! I used the girls from the story I am writing on a website I can't mention, but I think several people know it. I only spent an hour or two on this, and made it up as I went along, no outline or plan. It's basically just a first draft, but I hope it is enjoyed.

A Day Out
 
Hi there, I'm Leigh. Some of you might know me from the story I am writing about my life, but for those who don't, here goes. I have a thing for braces, orthopedic and orthodontics, along with casts, and so do my friends. In fact, I have voluntarily allowed my legs and spine to become weak through long-term immobilization, and I now wear HKAFOs and a Milwaukee brace. My friend Judy has done the same; she wanted to be like her sister Collene, who was crippled by polio. They wear KAFOs and Milwaukee braces. Also, our friend Rebekah wears HKAFOs and a back brace like mine, but only for the pleasure of it.
 
We also all wear orthodontic braces, good old-fashioned bands; we love how they look. All of us needed braces, but we also desired many extras unnecessary for treatment, and we all have quite a mouthful of appliances. I think currently we all have upper and lower expanders, tongue cribs, headgear, and splints to protect our teeth and jaws from the forces applied by our Milwaukee braces. We are all braced beauties, especially the young sisters Collene and Judy.
 
All of us girls live near each other. In fact, Rebekah and Judy live on what was once part of our property, and Collene is on the other side of the creek. This allows us to spend time together, and Judy has become like a daughter to my husband, Joel, and myself. Living nearby and also being physically handicapped, we often do things together to help each other out. With our husbands off on an ice fishing trip for a week, we are left to fend for ourselves. Today's simple mission is grocery shopping.
 
With Joel being in the bus repair business along with Rebekah's husband Paul, we have a very nice little paratrasnit bus we use for outings. Right now, Rebekah and I have large plaster casts on our left arms that also cover several fingers and our thumbs. We didn't break anything, but we are wearing them in support of Emme, who did break her wrist. Since we can't use our crutches, we are confined to our power wheelchairs.
 
Judy is staying with me, and Collene is with Rebekah while the guys are away. With our heavy plaster casts, we can't don and doff our orthopedic braces or our headgear. I hear the distinctive sound of Judy approaching my bedroom now—her heavy, braced footsteps and clicking of her crutches—and she gently knocks, and I ask her to enter.
 
Judy looks ravishing as usual in her brown leg and back braces, cute little Mary Jane shoes, blue knee-length skirt, and white blouse. Emerging from her slightly parted lips—parted by the splint she wears—is her facebow, which is connected to black high-pull headgear straps. She smiles, and her bands glisten in the early morning sunlight streaming through the window.
 
Judy approaches me in bed, removes the special braces from my legs and back that I sleep in, and helps me get into my HKAFO-Milwaukee brace. We all have many sets of orthopedic braces with leather and even metal in various colors. I chose to wear my favorite braces today, the ones with purple anodized metal and pink leather. Judy then helped me dress in an outfit similar to hers, but with high block heel boots on my leg braces since I won't be walking today; crippled girls can dress sexy, too, you know. I transfer to my power chair and wheel to the bathroom.
 
There, Judy helps me clean my teeth and all the appliances in my mouth. It's a challenge to keep my large, bulky expanders and tongue crib clean. However, I love all my appliances since they give me such a strong lisp. I then put my splint in my mouth, which snaps in place with small magnets, which causes me to lisp even more. Judy then carefully slips my facebows into my mouth.
 
Judy asked me which color interlandi straps I wanted to wear, and I said pink. She carefully places the headgear behind the occipital pads of my Milwaukee brace and attaches it to my facebows with two elastics on each hook. I wheel out of the bathroom and quickly do my hair and makeup, and we are ready for the day.
 
We get on the small paratransit bus to head down to pick up Rebekah and Collene. The bus even has hand controls, so Judy can easily drive it. Rebekah and Collene are waiting on the porch for us when we arrive. The ladies are dressed nicely, and Rebekah is in her power wheelchair wearing her double-faced interlandi headgear like mine. Collene is just wearing a single facebow with a cervical strap. When they greeted us, the sun reflected off their bands, making their smiles sparkle. The girls got on the bus, and we were on our way to grab a bite to eat.
 
We live in the country, so it is about a thirty-minute drive to town. Riding into town on the bus is always fun, with much animated conversation. It's great that we can all ride together, especially when some of us can't drive due to being immobilized or when several of us are in wheelchairs. On this trip, we talked about the casts that Rebekah and I are wearing and also about something Judy desires to try—she wants to have her jaw wired shut around a surgical splint just to see what it is like.
 
Well, we just arrived at the Egg Basket, one of our favorite places for breakfast. Judy and Collene got Rebekah and me in our wheelchairs off the bus—it's amazing what those girls can do while wearing their back and leg braces—and headed inside to eat. Once we got a table, we discreetly removed our orthodontic splints and set them aside. We usually don't remove our headgear to eat since we have all had it wired in at some point and are used to carefully eating with our facebows in place. Of course, we get a lot of funny looks and stares from other patrons, being as heavily braced as we are and all speaking with heavy lisps.
 
Just before we finished eating, a young family passed our table, and the little boy said, "Look at those ladies; they all have cages on their bodies and are wearing metal muzzles." The mother said, "Quite, Ashton, that's not nice. Those ladies are wearing medical braces, not cages and muzzles." We all looked their way and smiled—our very metallic smiles—and both parents turned red with embarrassment. We are used to comments from children, and it doesn't bother us.
 
With our meal complete, we took turns going to the bathroom to quickly brush our teeth before returning our splints to our mouths. Then, we got back on the bus and headed to the shopping center to get groceries for the week. Once we got there and got off the bus, we split into two groups. Rebekah and Collene would go to Trader Joes while Judy and I would visit Whole Foods; it's so convenient that they are in the same shopping center.
 
Judy used one of the motorized shopping carts, and we got to the task at hand. We quickly filled the basket with all the items on our list for all the great meals we have planned for the week. Once at the checkout stand, Judy realized we had forgotten cornflakes for the baked chicken dish that Collene wanted to make. I quickly wheeled to the cereal aisle but found the cornflakes to be on the top shelf. I was just getting ready to go find help when a man about my age came around the corner.
 
He was an average-looking man, dressed in business attire and carrying a shopping basket. There was nothing remarkable about the man except that he was wearing blue reverse pull headgear, the kind with two metal bars to the side and a strap around his head. Seeing me looking up at the boxes that I could not reach, he said with a lisp and hardly moving his jaw, "Can I help you, miss?" As he spoke, I could see several elastics between his upper and lower arches and the bands on his teeth. I replied, "Oh, yes, please. Can you reach that box of cornflakes, 365 brand?" He reached up and handed me the box, which I grasped with my uncasted arm and placed between my cast and braced body.
 
I thanked the stranger, and he asked, "Patient of Dr. Joe's?"
 
"Why, yes, I am. He does great work, doesn't he?" I cheerfully replied.
 
"Yes, he does. He might be a little old-fashioned, but my wife and I have had no pain at all with our braces. In fact, her braces are like yours, with two facebows and bands, just like when we met in college. When I saw her once again in braces and headgear, I fell in love with her all over again. She, like you, wears them well." The man said  with a metallic smile.
 
"My friends and I all love his work and are very happy with our treatment and new smiles. Thank you once again for assisting me, and good luck to you and your wife on your orthodontic journey." I looked up at him and smiled with my mouth slightly agape. I'm sure he could see my tongue crib, splint, and expanders.
 
"It was nice to meet you, miss. Maybe my wife and I will run into you again. She would probably like to chat with you about orthodontics. Not too many people our age have braces, let alone complicated treatments like the ones we are undergoing." The man said before he walked away.
 
I quickly made my way back to Judy at the checkout, just as the last item was being scanned. I handed the clerk the box of cereal, and Judy paid the bill. A young bagboy, who couldn't take his eyes off Judy until he noticed her wedding band, carried our groceries out to the bus where Collene and Rebekah were waiting for us. Judy used the lift and got me and my wheelchair on board, then she took her place in the driver's seat, and we were on our way home.
 
The ride home on the bus was full of laughter and conversation, just like when we went into town. Once home, it took Rebekah and me several trips to carry in the groceries, one sack at a time, in our power wheelchairs. Collene made a pot of tea, Judy built a fire, and we just sat around and talked for the rest of the afternoon until it was time to make dinner.
 
Just an average day out for several heavily braced ladies.
 
 

Offline anton08

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #2 on: 08. November 2023, 08:18:22 AM »
Now this story is well written and all conditions are realised.

There is a huge potential for a real long story without limitation!

Offline napacaster

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #3 on: 08. November 2023, 17:03:50 PM »
Now this story is well written and all conditions are realised.

There is a huge potential for a real long story without limitation!

Thanks, anton08. It was fun to whip out a short story.

So far, there are 150 chapters written about Leigh and her friends with Ch. 116 going out today. I quickly made this up to fit in before Ch. 151.

I never published the story here since it started out very heavy in orthopedic braces and casts, then I worked in much more orthodontic content later on. With how well received mr_90proof's story 'The Split' has been received, I wish I had put my story here, too. If there is interest, I might summarize the first 40 or so rather poorly written chapters and post the rest of the story here.

Online Sparky

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #4 on: 08. November 2023, 17:33:00 PM »
So, as they all went for breakfast, I was thinking 'ah, one of them is gonna have cornflakes for breakfast, aren't they?'!!! Wrong!! :-)

Napcaster, thank you for a fun short story, boy, you ticked a HUGE number of boxes in there! I'm just surprised one of your characters wasn't wearing very strong glasses!!

Ok, so who's next with a story?... I guess I need to think of one too, don't I?

Online Sparky

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #5 on: 08. November 2023, 17:40:42 PM »
Ok, I'm going to work on a longer one later, but here's an incredibly minimalist 'short story'.... although is it even long enough to actually BE a story?

================

Isobel got onto the bus to go to school, and sat on one of the seats that faces sideways. A girl she knew, Susie, was sat opposite.

"Hi Susie!" said Isobel.

Susie smiled, revealing her braces. Her chunky NHS braces, with bright pink ligatures. Clearly she had been in a bit of a rush this morning, and hadn't brushed her teeth after breakfast, as there was still the remains of cornflakes stuck in her braces.

================

 

Offline napacaster

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #6 on: 08. November 2023, 17:52:11 PM »
So, as they all went for breakfast, I was thinking 'ah, one of them is gonna have cornflakes for breakfast, aren't they?'!!! Wrong!! :-)

Napcaster, thank you for a fun short story, boy, you ticked a HUGE number of boxes in there! I'm just surprised one of your characters wasn't wearing very strong glasses!!

Ok, so who's next with a story?... I guess I need to think of one too, don't I?

Damn, I forgot to mention their glasses!


Offline anton08

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #7 on: 08. November 2023, 19:48:06 PM »
And please - may the strong glasses be minus glasses becoming myodiscs...  ;)

Online Sparky

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #8 on: 08. November 2023, 23:35:34 PM »
Damn, I forgot to mention their glasses!

No problem: just use it as an excuse to write a SECOND story, but remember the glasses this time  :)

Offline MikeB

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #9 on: 09. November 2023, 02:31:38 AM »
Okay, I'll bite. This may be replete with typos since I banged it out really fast, but here goes.

On the (Struggle) Bus

Warily, I climbed the three steps into the city bus. Despite being an advocate for public transit, I was never very good at figuring out things like routes and transfers. Taking the light rail from my airport hotel wasn’t much of a challenge, but determining which bus I needed to take was a bit more daunting. I really hoped this was the right bus.

I walked down the aisle of the crowded bus, looking for a seat. I got about halfway down when I saw a couple of open spots. The first was a window seat next to a fat guy who looked like he was sweaty just from sitting there. The other was an aisle seat next to a pleasantly-slender brunette. The choice was a no-brainer. I unslung the messenger bag from my shoulder and sat.

Glancing over at the brunette to my left, I saw her just gazing out the window. Still, her head wasn’t completely turned away, and I could see a dusting of freckles across her cheeks and nose that contrasted her alabaster skin. She had a pink backpack in her lap, so I couldn’t see much of her body. Still, she looked pretty cute.

I cleared my throat. “So, is this the right bus for the downtown tech hub?”

She turned to me and looked me up and down. Her green eyes met mine for a split second. She nodded and went back to looking out the window.

“Great,” I said. “I’m glad I got the right bus.”

“It’s not that hard,” she said, still angled away from me, her eyes on the street outside the bus.

“I know. I’ve just never been good at public transportation.” I chuckled. “I mean, I like it, but I’m not good at it.”

“Uh huh.”

“Where are you headed?” I asked. She was a tough nut to crack, and if this didn’t work, I’d just shut up.

“School.”

“Oh, nice,” I said. “Which school?”

“Nursing school.”

“Good for you. That’s a great career. The nursing school is the same stop as the tech hub, isn’t it?”

She turned to me. “I thought you said you weren’t good at this.” I caught the barest glint of metal along her bottom teeth when she spoke.

I smiled. “I had to study the map for along time to figure out where to go. I have an interview at InnoTech today.”

She nodded slightly. “I hear that’s a good company to work for.”

“I’m hoping. It’s my third interview since graduation, but it’s the job I want the most.”

“And what job is that?” she asked, giving me a quick – but better – look at her
mouth. This time I definitely saw a row of metal braces on her bottom teeth.

“It’s a tech job. Boring compared to nursing, I’m sure.”

She looked me up and down again. “You don’t look like a IT geek.”

I laughed. “What does that mean?”

She smiled, though with her mouth closed. “Well, you combed your hair and you’re not wearing a hoodie.”

I chuckled. “I mean, I am going on a job interview. But I’m actually interviewing for network security. It’s a little different.”

“I wouldn’t know,” she said, “but good luck on the interview. This is our stop.”

I looked out the bus’s windshield and saw a sign that read Tech Hub and University Park. “That was quick.”

“You got on the express bus, silly.”

The bus came to a stop as I looked at my phone. “I’m way early.”

“Me too,” she said. “I had an appointment, but it was faster than I thought.”

We both stood. She shrugged on her backpack and I slung my messenger bag back over my shoulder. She followed me off the bus.

I paused on the sidewalk. “Hey, I didn’t get your name.”

“I didn’t offer it.” She grinned, finally showing two rows of metal braces. I think she realized what she’d just done by the way she instantly and awkwardly pulled her lips back over the silver brackets. “But it’s Abby.”

And just like that, the heavens opened and it began to pour rain. I was unprepared for this in a southwestern city. I looked at Abby and shrugged. “What the heck?”

She smiled again, less self-conscious about her braces this time. “It’s monsoon season. It happens!” She ducked under a nearby awning.

I joined her, throwing my hands up. “So do we wait it out, or…?”

“It could be minutes, could be hours.” She paused and looked around, then up at the dark sky. “All right, come on. I know a little place up the street.” She slid out of her backpack and held it over her head.

I mimicked her, using my smaller messenger bag, and nodded. “Lead the way.”

She turned and trotted up the sidewalk, the backpack shielding her from some of the downpour. I followed closely behind her. We’d jogged about a block and a half, past dozens of people taking shelter in alcoves and under awnings. Finally, she stopped and darted into a doorway. Above the door hung a sign reading The Black Kettle. I followed her inside.

It was a charming little Irish-themed pub. A mahogany bar ran the length of the fest side of the long, narrow space. Upholstered stools stood near a brass footrail, while dozens of shiny taps sprouted from the bar itself.

A young, bearded man stood behind the bar. “Oh, hey, Abby! Coming down out there, huh?”

“Hi, Stephen! Yeah, it sure is,” she said, hanging her backpack on one of the barstools. “But we can use the rain.”

The young man moved closer. “Have a drink?”

Abby paused. “I don’t know. I have school in an hour.”

“Oh, hey!” Stephen said. “You got your braces done!”

She nodded, her mouth closed tightly.

Stephen turned to me and extended his hand over the bar. “Hey, man. I’m Stephen. Welcome in. Have you been here before?”

I shook his hand. “No, this is my first day in town. Flew in last night for a job interview in an hour or so.”

“All right,” he said. “Welcome to town. Have a drink?”

I took a deep breath. “Why not? It’ll probably help calm my interview jitters a little. Tullamore Dew on ice, please.”

“Tully rocks, it is.” He turned back to Abby. “How about you, Abs?”

She sighed. “Fine. I can have one. It’ll help with this aching in my mouth, anyway.”

“The usual?” Stephen asked.

She nodded. “Vodka soda lime.”

Stephen turned to make our drinks.

“So that was that was the appointment you mentioned?” I said. “You got braces?”

She scoffed. “I’m pretty sure you noticed I have braces.”

I chuckled. “That’s not what I meant. Of course I noticed. I just didn’t know they were new.”

“Yep, I just got them…” She glanced at her phone. “About two hours ago.”

“And how’s that going?”

She wriggled her lips and ran her tongue over her teeth with her mouth closed. “It’s, ah, it’s going to be a struggle.”

“So…if I can ask…why braces now? You’re obviously at least twenty one.”

She let out a little sigh. “My family didn’t have much money growing up. I have four brothers and sisters. We didn’t exactly want for the necessities - every day was Cornflakes for breakfast - but there also wasn’t a lot left over for luxuries.”

“Like braces.”

“Exactly,” she said. “But my grandma passed away –”

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” she said. “It was just her time. But anyway, she left me a little inheritance. I decided to spend some of it on braces. I always wanted braces, but couldn’t get them until now.”

I nodded. “Makes sense. Better late than never.”

“Exactly. So in two or three years, I’ll have the smile most kids have by the time they’re fifteen.” She smiled wryly. “But I’ll be twenty-five.”

Stephen delivered our drinks with a nod and a smile, careful not to interrupt our conversation.

I held up my glass. “Here’s to braces. I guess it’ll be a fun few years.”

She smiled, this time showing the metal in her mouth. “Oh, yeah, for sure. Who doesn’t want metal braces in their prime dating years? And the fun I’ll have with the rubber bands and whatever power chains are.”

I chuckled. “At least you’re optimistic about it.”

She rolled her eyes. “I know, right? I guess I should just be grateful to my grandma for getting me braces. Finally.”

“You know,” I said hesitantly, “I really don’t think having braces is going to affect your dating life very much.”

She sipped her drink. “Why’s that? You think every guy out there is dying to date someone who looks thirteen?”

I laughed. “No, no. I just don’t think it’s going to be as crippling as you think. Most guys are so horny they won’t even care.”

She gave me a little side eye. “And are you one of those horny guys?”

“Depends on the girl.”

“Okay, I’ll bite. What –”

“I see what you did there,” I said with a smile.

“What?” She looked puzzled for a moment. “Oh, haha. Thanks, dad. Anyway, what kind of girl would make you so horny you’d overlook a mouth full of metal braces?”

I locked eyes with her. “Brunette. Green eyes. Slim body. About five-four, maybe five-five. Freckles on her cheeks and nose. Drinks vodka.”

She exhaled through pursed lips. “Not bad, Mr…I don’t even know your name.”

“Kyle,” I said, extending my hand.

She took my hand. Her own hand was small and soft, unadorned with jewelry. “Well, Kyle, that was pretty smooth. Does it always work?”

I shrugged. “Hit and miss, if I’m being honest.”

She chuckled. “Fair enough.” She sipped her drink.

“So I have to ask,” I said. “Did it work on you?”

“Don’t you have an interview to get to?” She smiled as she said it, though, giving me another look at her new braces.

“Yeah. But I’m free tonight, and I wouldn’t mind spending it with a witty and charming brunette.”

“Even one with braces?”

“Even one with braces.” I opened the contacts app on my phone, entered Abby, and slid it to her on the bar. “Put in your number.”

She took her time looking me up and down. I calmly sipped my whiskey, letting her make her assessment. Finally, she smiled and punched her number into my phone. She slid it back to me and I saved her digits.

“What time does class end?” I asked, downing the last of my drink.

“About four.”

I slid my phone into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. I left cash on the bar, giving Stephen an ample tip for both his quick service and for staying out of our conversation. “I’ll text you.”

“Thank you for the drink,” Abby said, “and for making me feel better about…all this.” She pointed at her mouth.

“I don’t know how you looked before, but for what it’s worth, I think you look pretty cute in braces.”

“Don’t push it,” she said, but she smiled again, revealing her braces one more time. “But thanks for the drink.”

“My pleasure,” I said. “Maybe I’ll see you later.”

“Good luck on your interview, Kyle.”

“It’s been nice meeting you, Abby.”

I slid my bag onto my shoulder and turned toward the exit. The rain had stopped. I paused. Maybe that was a sign. I turned around and pulled her into me. I kissed her. She kissed back. I could just feel the metal of her braces touching my lips.

I kept the kiss brief. She fell away from me, a broad smile on her face.

“You better text me,” she said.

I smiled and walked to my interview.

Offline mr_90proof

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #10 on: 09. November 2023, 03:23:39 AM »
I have no idea how to tell how many words I’m at typing on a 6 year old iPhone 7.  And I am not gonna count them.  But, I will give it a swing.

The Trade Show

My life seems to be one big trade show.  Between industry and consumer shows, I spend at least 16 weeks a year on the road attending one.  Setting them up, working them, then tearing it all back down and packing it up for the next one.  This particular one was a small distributor show in Nashville.  And while it was work, I also knew we would have some fun.  If you want to see people drink, just go to the hotel bar in the evening after a trade show.  Plus, I like Nashville.  It is just a fun town.

The first day or two of any trade show is set up.  My group was coming back from lunch when I spied a friend setting up her booth.  I told the rest of the guys to head on back to our section, I would be a minute.

Jessica had not seen me.  She was standing on a chair, straining to reach up to hang a banner on the curtained posts that serve as backdrops and dividers between the aisles.  I slipped in her booth and said “looks like a lady could use a hand.”  It startled her and she jumped a little.  I reached up and put my hands on her waist to steady her.  Not in any type of sexual way.  In a “shit, I don’t want to make her fall off a chair” way.  She turned her head and looked down at me.  I noticed she didn’t smile.  She always gave me a big smile when we met at one of these shows.

Jessica and I were friends.  I didn’t understand exactly why she seemed to like me, but I did make her laugh.  And I am fun to go out with.  But it was never anything sexual, though not on my account.  I think being in such a male dominated industry, she felt safe with me.  Exactly because I wasn’t trying to get in her pants every time she turned around like so many others.  I really didn’t envy her, and I wondered if I could have done what she did if the roles were reversed.  But she was tough.  And she was funny too.  And she liked to drink Titos and soda.  Which I had just happened to bring.   Maybe that was another reason she liked me, I always made sure I had her Tito’s.

She looked down at me and exclaimed “sshit, you shcared me.”  As I helped her down off the chair, I wondered why she had a lisp.  Jessica didn’t have a lisp.

I smiled at her and asked “hey you, seriously, do you need a hand?”

She just didn’t seem herself as she said just “no.”  That was it.  Nothing else.  I told her a stupid joke I’d recently heard.  Really corny.  I figured if it didn’t get a laugh, it would at least get a rise out of her about how stupid my jokes were.  She just stood there with her mouth clamped shut.  I asked “what is it?  What’s wrong.”

She looked at me and broke down “sshit.  I might ash well jusht tell you. It’sh not like you can’t tell.  I have a bunch of sshit in my mouth.  I got two palate exshpandersh lasht week.  I can’t even fricking talk.  Ish sho embarrashing.  Thish week ish gonna be a sshit show.”

I looked at her and said “you sound fine.  I would have never noticed.  So, what are we talking about here?”

She punched me and said “liar.  You big liar.  I had to get orthodontic exshpandersh, for my bite, my dentist shaid I should see an ortho, sho I did.  And he shaid if I didn’t do thish, I losh my teeth.  Shish just shucks sho bad.”  It looked like she was on the verge of crying.

I wrapped my arm around her and said “you sound fine.  And as always you look ravishing.” 

For the next fifteen minutes I helped her in her booth.  She didn’t speak.  One of my guys came and found me and said “hey, Randy is looking for you.”  Randy was the head man in charge of this show.  Not really my boss, but my boss at the moment.  I looked at Jessica and said “oops, I’m in trouble.  Are you ok.”  She simply nodded her head up and down.

That evening I got done with dinner and back to my hotel around 8:30.  Jessica had already text me to see what I was doing.  She wanted a drink.  At 8:32 I heard a knock on my door.  As she entered I handed her a tall, strong Titos and soda with lime.  She immediately took a big drink.  She then said “thank you.  I need thish.”

I asked “what did you do for dinner?”  She looked at me and shook her head.  I said “what, you haven’t eaten?”

She said “no, I can’t ish such a nightmare.  With thish shit in my mouth.  And I sure can’t do it in public.” 

I asked “so what are we dealing with?  Can I see?”

She did her best to keep her mouth closed and said “absholutely not.”

I said “fine, but I practice orthodontics on the side.  Maybe I could help?”  This was only a half-fib.  I didn’t practice orthodontics.  But I did have a huge braces fetish which she was unaware of.

She said “you are such a dork.”  She finally gave me just a hint of a smile.

At 10 pm she said “I have to go.”

I protested “why?  It’s early.”

She looked at the clock again and said “I jusht do.  I’m tired.  But could I have a roadie?”

I said “sure thing” and poured her a drink to go in a styrofoam cup.  Handing it to her I asked “walk a lady to her room?”

She shook her head and said “no, thank you.”  Then unexpectedly she hugged me.  She said “thank you for being sho nicsh about thish.  Sho undershtanding.”

I squeezed her back and said “I don’t know what you are talking about.  I am just jealous of your new grill.  Even though you won’t let me see it.”

She let go of me and stepped back.  She leaned her face in and gave me a big smile and asked “happy?  Now that I am humiliated.”

I said “Jess, I can barely see anything.  Really.  And what lishp?” 

Hearing me exaggerate “lishp” caused her to punch me in the arm, again, and say “you are an ashhole.”  But she was smiling when she said it.

I said “and just for that, I insist on escorting you to your room.  So you won’t assault the other guests.”  It was probably the Tito’s, but she finally laughed.  At her door she hugged me again and said “thanksh” opening her door and disappearing inside.  As I walked back to my room I thought about the two hooks I had seen in her mouth, one in each corner of her mouth coming off her top molar bands.  And I knew what those hooks were  for.

The next morning I text her and asked “whatcha doing.”  She text me back “getting ready.”  I said “make it fast, we have breakfast to eat.”  She text “no, I can’t eat.”  I said “you have to eat.  And I already got breakfast.”  I then knocked on her door.

She came to the door about 3 minutes later.  She opened the door and said “you are an ashhole.”  I noticed her chin seemed awfully red and irritated, but I did not mention it.  Instead I just gave her a big smile and said “Good morning to you too!”

After I had sat the try down she hugged me.  She said “thank you.”

I said “don’t thank me yet, let’s see what I got you.”  As I went through what was on the tray I said “scrambled eggs - soft, biscuit and gravy - soft, grits - soft, yogurt - soft, and finally Cornflakes - not soft.  But those are for me.”

I spent more time watching her eat than I did eating myself.  And it was a struggle for her.  And it turned me on so much.  Once done she said “thank you sho musch.  I wash shtarving.”

I asked “need any help brushing or flossing?”

She said “absolutely not.  We aren’t that good of friends.”  I smiled at her and said “well, the offer stands if you change your mind.  Let me get this mess out of here so you can finish getting ready.”

That evening, I met her at her door a little before 7.  The distributor that was having the show had a social that evening.  It was a pretty cool deal, they had rented out Jason Aldean’s bar on Broad Street.  From 7-10 they were offering free drinks.  They even had shuttle buses to carry everyone back and forth from the event. It wasn’t a date.  But it was just me and Jess that were going together.  But I had no ulterior motive.  I just wanted to protect her.  And her newly orthodontically enhanced mouth.

We had a great time.  Drinking, listening to bands, we even danced a little.  Jess got a little tipsy, as did I.  And if I was not mistaken, we even did a little flirting.  I thought the night was going great, until 9:30. 

Abruptly, Jess said “we need to go.”

I asked “why?  Not having fun?”

She said “I’ve had sho much fun.  You’ve been amazing.  But I need to be back by 10.”

I didn’t argue.  I simply held her hand as we navigated out of the bar and got on the bus.  We found a dark secluded spot in the back corner to wait until the 9:45 scheduled departure time.  There weren’t many other people on the bus, I figured most people there were going to wait till they kicked them out, and then go find another honkey tonk.  As we rode, Jess squeezed up against me, rubbing her hand on my arm.  She then cocked her head in my direction and stared at me, appraising me.  She then leaned in and kissed me.  I could taste vodka and her lipstick.  She settled back against me and said “thank you.  I had fun tonight.  I wish you could come back to my room.”

As I rubbed her arm I said “I can.  I want to.  We could have another drink.  Why not?”

She said “it’sh just.  It’sh my expandersh.  It’sh too embarrasshing.  You’d make fun of me.”

I turned so I was looking in her face and said “I don’t understand.  But I would never make fun of you.  Not really.  What is it?”

She said softly “ok.  I will show you.”  Then she pleaded “but pleash be nicshs. You have to be nicsh.”

I said “Jess I have always been nice.  And I always will.”

She scooted into me and said “I know you have sweetie.  That ish the only reason I am doing thish.”

Back in her room, she stopped me as soon as we had made it into her room and the door had closed.  She grabbed me and kissed me.  She then kissed me again.  She said “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.  And now I can’t.”

I looked at her and asked “what do you mean?”

She led me into the room and had me sit on her bed.  She softly said “stay her.  But pleash be nice.”  She turned and disappared into the bathroom.  She emerged a few minutes later wearing a black lacey night gown, dressed for bed.  Or other things.  But what really stood out was the pink Delaire facemask she had on her face.  She had her head down as she walked over to the bed.  The look on her face was one of shame.  She wouldn’t look at me as she said “It'sh horrible. Sho ugly.  I am.  I know.  I don’t blame you if you leave.”

I stood up and went and hugged her.  I softly whispered “it’s not horrible.  And it’s not ugly.  You, standing right her right now in front of me are the most beautiful, desirable creature I have ever seen.  And sweetie, I knew you had to wear a facemask when I saw the hooks in your mouth.  Thank you for sharing your secret with me.” 

She said “I can’t kissh.  But can you hold me?  Try to make me feel pretty?”

In bed, I had stripped down to my boxers.  We lay holding each other in bed, touching, feeling, just being close.  And maybe it was the alcohol in me, and it was stupid, but I said “it means so much that you trust me.  I trust you too.  I have a secret.  It is weird.  And embarrassing.  But I have a kink for orthodontics.  For braces.  And especially a pink Delaire facemask on a woman I have spent a lot of time fantasizing about.”

I don’t know exactly what part of that knocked Jess sideways, maybe it was all of it, but she recoiled back and just stared at me.  I knew I had screwed this up.  I was about to be asked to leave.  I might have just soured this whole friendship.  Or whatever it was.  I was trying to figure out what to say when Jess beat me to it.

Jess asked “you have a bracesh fetish?  A bracesh fetish?  And you have fantashized about me?”  She just stared at me.

I said “I know.  Its so weird, so embarrassing.  But yes, I have a braces fetish.  And yes, I have fantasized about you.”  She continued to stare at me in silence.  I said “I am sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s just… you shared with me, and...” She stuck her hand out and put her index finger over my mouth and went “shhh!  You have said enough.”  I knew I had completely messed this up.  I was preparing myself to get back up, get dressed, and leave.  Until a big smile came to Jess’ face, the first real smile I had seen from her in two days.

She then asked “we are going to have some fun aren’t we?”

The End.

Sorry, no idea how many words it is.

Offline mr_90proof

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #11 on: 09. November 2023, 03:46:48 AM »
For the record, I did not intentionally try to plagiarize Mike’s story.  I was working on mine while he was working on his.  I hit submit and “poof!”  There were two stories.  Two eerily similar stories (if you ignore a few details and just look at the overall theme.)

But… I did include the Cornflakes.  And the pink facemask.  And how appropriate that our first kiss happened on the bus?

Offline Braceface2015

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Re: New Writing Challenge - It's Not Supposed To Bend That Way
« Reply #12 on: 09. November 2023, 07:23:48 AM »
This story is a bit dark. I've wanted to do a story that wasn't all sunshine and lollipops for a while now, but just never found a theme to do it. If you don't like this story, please don't comment on it, this story is a bit of therapy for me.

If you do like it, make my day and leave me a comment.

I'm just slightly over the word limit, and I did include 'pink' and 'cornflakes'.


It’s Not Supposed To Bend That Way

By Braceface2015



My day started just the way most of my workdays did. I got out of bed when my alarm went off, wandered into my kitchen in my comfy pyjamas and made my breakfast. One look out the window convinced me to switch from my normal breakfast of cornflakes to a more warming substitute of porridge.

It didn’t snow here often, and when it did, the roads became a nightmare to travel on, not that it really bothered me. Living in one of the ten largest cities in the world had the advantage of having one of the best mass-transit networks available within easy walking distance. Across the street from my place was a bus stop, and a short ride on the bus would deliver me to a transit hub with access to the LRT, seabus, and express transit service, and I would use all of them to get to my destination at the University.

My job didn’t pay as much as I would have liked, but the benefits package made up for it partially, and I didn’t have to work there my whole life to get a pension. It was twenty years and I could retire with a lifetime pension, allowing me to work at another job if I wanted to, and get a second pension to retire on.

I put the local news on and half watched, half listened as the road report played on my TV. As I had expected, the roads were a mess and traffic was travelling slowly as a result. Traffic was snarled at the usual places, and I would be avoiding all of that by using mass transit. An item of interest to me came on and I focused my attention on it as it played. The city had just accepted delivery of a batch of the new zero-emission sixty-foot articulating buses, and they were putting them on the express routes, one of which I would be using on my way to work.

With the warm porridge comfortably sitting in my stomach, I had my morning shower and got ready for work. My Grandmother had been a model in her younger years, before she married my Grandfather, and she had taught me that dressing from the skin out was important. Her favourite saying was, “You never know who might see it,” and she usually accompanied it with a wink at my Grandfather if he was around.

When she was modelling, having the right figure was important, and having the perfect smile was less of an issue, but there were limits, and her teeth seemed to be just barely on the wrong side of that limit. She had a gap between her top front teeth and it was a bit too wide for her to become a famous model. It didn’t bother her, because she was modelling to pay for her courses to become a nurse.

Braces were still a new thing back then and they were expensive, and she didn't want to spend the money on something she considered an 'unnecessary luxury'. I'd been close to both my Grandparents when they were alive, and I'd heard the stories of how they met and eventually got married. Some of my favourite stories were of how much my Grandfather had lovingly teased her about the gap in her teeth, and told her it was one of the things that made her one of his favourite models, right up there with Jayne Mansfield and Marilyn Monroe.

My grandfather was in the military, and he’d been wounded in one of the wars that seemed to be happening somewhere in the world. His injuries were bad enough for him to be sent home to recover, and he met my Grandmother at the hospital where she was training.

I was fortunate to inherit her figure, and unfortunate to inherit her teeth. I took good care of my teeth and saw my dentist regularly for checkups and cleanings. The university had a top-notch dental and orthodontic training program, and part of the employee benefits package was the option to have appointments during work hours and be paid for going to the appointments. More than once, the student working on my teeth had asked if I wanted to get my teeth fixed.

It had happened so many times, that I had put plenty of pictures of my grandmother on my tablet so I could show them to the students and the doctors teaching them. After explaining that my Grandmother had given me my teeth and I was happy with how they looked, then showing them the pictures of my grandmother, taken over the years, they came to understand how I felt.

With the weather being bad, I figured I’d leave early to allow time for the slow traffic. The trip to the transit hub was slow and the bus had a hard time getting up and down some of the steeper roads. While I waited to transfer to the express bus to the university, a news update came on letting everyone know the university had declared a ‘snow day’ and all classes were cancelled. Everyone not essential to the operation of the university should stay home. While I wasn’t technically ‘essential personnel’, my job fell into that category. I smiled as I did the calculations in my head. If I showed up at work, I would be paid ‘double time’ just to sit at my desk and watch the snow fall.

My smile got bigger as I saw my bus pull in. The back half of the bus had been rented by a local company as a mobile billboard and most of it was painted in various shades of pink. The new buses looked odd with the fiberglass pods on the roof concealing the fuel tanks. It appeared the university wasn't the only place shutting down for the day. The bus was practically empty and I had my pick of the seats.

The transit hub had quite a few small shops selling unusual items, and one of them sold backpacks with a window in the flap to hold a tablet. I could set it on my lap and type or surf the internet. The traffic sped up slightly once the bus was on the freeway, then slowed again as the bus took the exit ramp near the university. A notice appeared on my tablet from the transit app, letting me know there was an accident on the route and the bus was being rerouted around the scene, something which happened occasionally. By the time the bus crested the last hill before the accident scene, I was the only person on the bus, other than the driver. I could see part of the university campus through the side window as the bus turned onto the diversion route.

Unlike the main roads, the alternate route hadn’t been plowed and sanded as well, and the bus slid a bit on some of the corners and hills. Suddenly the lights on the sign above the road warning of a low bridge ahead started flashing, and the bus started sliding as the driver tried to stop. The front of the bus came to an abrupt stop as the structure protecting the roof tanks became wedged under the bridge. The back of the bus continued moving and the articulating joint in the middle of the bus flexed, just not the way it was designed to. Things might have been okay, except the gravel truck following the bus wasn’t able to stop in time and slid sideways into the back of the bus, pushing the joint beyond the point of failure.

The last thought I had was, ‘It’s not supposed to bend that way.’ I had just enough time to raise my left arm to protect my face before my world went dark.



There was a blurry face in front of me when I opened my eyes, and it gradually came into focus as I blinked, and I recognized the face of one of the doctors from the university hospital. Everything hurt, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. When he saw my eyes open, he said, "Don't try and move. You've been in an accident. I've given you something to temporarily paralyze you until we can get you to the hospital."

Everything in front of me was pink and I realized I was looking at the back half of the bus. I could feel a stiff foam collar around my neck, holding my head straight and my mouth tightly closed. All I could do was watch as they moved my left arm to straighten it as they put it between stiff foam blocks and wrapped velcro straps around it, and think, ‘It isn’t supposed to bend that way.’ Whatever they had given me must have been pretty strong, because the pain seemed to be coming from a long distance away.

The world around me became hazy again as they worked on extracting me from the bus, and then faded away again as they loaded me into the ambulance.




The world around me came into focus again, and it was still pink, though a much more pleasant shade of pink, and I recognized it as the ceiling at the hospital. A face drifted into my line of sight, and it was one of the nurses I usually talked to when I walked through the hospital to the cafeteria. She said, “Just lay there and relax. I’ll get the doctor and he can explain what has been done to you.”

I didn’t really have a choice. While I waited, I did an inventory of what I could feel, and then I tried to move different parts of my body, starting with my toes. Both sets moved when I tried to wiggle them, and my ankles moved from side to side when I rotated them. The fingers on my right hand moved normally and my wrist flexed the way it should. My left hand was a different matter altogether. Everything hurt, from my fingernails to my shoulder, and nothing wanted to move, but at least it was still connected to my body. I remembered seeing them carefully moving it to straighten it.

Next, I tried to turn my head to look at my left arm, but it wouldn’t move. My eyes worked fine, and I looked around as much as I could. To the sides of my face were shiny chrome bars, leading to a ring above my face. The firm foam collar around my neck was still there, though it wasn’t pressing against my chin as firmly, more just providing a place for it to rest.

I could feel my face was swollen, particularly around my mouth and something metal was stuck between my lips. I knew something was wrong with my jaw, and there was the taste of metal in my mouth. I swallowed to remove the saliva building up in my mouth, and my tongue seemed to be trapped in a wire cage.

I was still making a mental list of what hurt the most when the doctor's face came into my line of sight. "I know you're still in a lot of pain, so I won't ask how you are feeling. I don't know how much you remember, but you were in an accident. You have some significant injuries, but you will recover from them. Most of them are to your face, neck and left arm."

“The bones in your left forearm have several green-stick fractures. That means the bones didn’t break completely, just cracked enough to bend out of shape. You can’t see it right now, but it is in an Ilizarov cage and has pins holding it in place until the breaks can heal. You left a nice set of toothmarks on the skin when you used it to protect your face.”

“Your neck took quite a jolt when your face connected with your arm. It is swollen right now and we couldn’t get any clear scans of your upper spine, so as a precaution, we have your neck and head in a halo brace.”

“Probably the most significant damage is to your jaws. Your lower jaw was dislocated and broken in three places. The upper jaw wasn’t as badly damaged, but quite a few teeth were dislocated. The good news is that we were able to save all your teeth and we expect them all to remain healthy.”

“We are going to keep you partially paralyzed and sedated for a few days to allow your body to recover. We have a nurse watching you, but we don’t expect there to be complications. Just about all you are going to do for the next couple of days is sleep.”





They kept me sedated for the better part of a week, gradually reducing the strength of the medication, while the swelling went down. Every time I woke up, someone was checking on me. They were able to get an accurate scan of my neck and I got the good news that I was allowed to use the bed controls to sit up, as long as I took it easy. They left the halo brace on, but removed the stiff collar from around my neck. I had my first look at my left arm, and at first, it was a shock to see all the pins holding it together.

I also had a chance to see what they did to my mouth. The picture in my mind was considerably different from what it actually looked like. I already knew I had braces, but I had pictured metal brackets glued to my teeth or maybe Erich Arch Bars along my gums to give the wires holding my jaws in place something to attach to.

What I saw was what my grandfather had described wounded soldiers having. Every tooth had a wide metal band around it, connected to heavy wires with bends between each tooth, held in place with more wire wrapped around each bracket. Every time I looked at the archwires, the thought went through my head, ‘It’s not supposed to bend that way.’

Crying with my mouth wired shut was a messy sight. The nurses brought me a towel and let me drool and blow snot all over myself until I got it out of my system. Then they helped me change into clean clothes and changed my bedding.

Someone had grabbed my backpack when they removed me from the bus, and one of the nurses brought it to me when I felt a bit better. Looking at the pictures of my Grandmother brought back fond memories of her, and I finally realized why she never had her teeth straightened. She did it because she loved my Grandfather and didn’t want to cause him emotional harm.



It took my orthodontist a long time to understand why I wanted the gap left between my top front teeth. I didn’t care how the rest of my teeth looked, but that gap had to stay. It was the most important thing I had left of my Grandparents.

Offline Braceface2015

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #13 on: 09. November 2023, 07:55:08 AM »
The fun with these 'challenge' stories is seeing how different people take a common theme and come up with different stories.

2500 words is about five pages long, for those who are interested.

Online Sparky

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Re: New Writing Challenge
« Reply #14 on: 09. November 2023, 13:00:48 PM »
For some writers, the challenge seems to impose a "sense of urgency" to write a story, so there will be a lot less planning. And, of course, with it (most likely) being a one-off, there's no planning of the "storyverse" either. So more likely to be somthing off the top of their heads, which makes it fun.

I'm probably gonna cheat, I'm thinking of somehow coming up with a short CJDL story... they all now have braces, with pink ligs, so all I need are some cornflakes and a bus.... can't be THAT hard, surely?