Chapter 137 B – Sarah's Story
By: JotaBsp
It was a cold morning at the resort, just like the previous ones. With two blankets and a thick comforter plus the heater, Sarah started to sweat. She removed the covers and rubbed her eyes. Sarah was wearing a simple short-sleeved T-shirt and elastic shorts; her recent stumps were showing, but Sarah still refused to look at them. She sits up in bed, her hair messy, and her first thoughts of the day come without warning:
*Come on, girl, we didn't come all this way to be stuck in this cabin.*
*We have to go out; we have to meet people.*
*I hate these stupid stumps; no one will care about us.*
*Stop it; this is you now. Let's face the world.*
*Get out of this bed. Now!*
Right, time to meet people... Go Sarah!
Encouraging herself to get out of bed, Sarah transfers to her wheelchair and grabs some clothes and her towel. In the bathroom, she lets the water run hot while she sorts out her shampoo and cream kit. After a quick, invigorating shower, she dries herself off and uses the hairdryer that was available. Returning to the bedroom, she slips her panties over her stumps and puts on a bra and a white shirt. On the opposite side of the bed, she takes the prosthetic legs. First, she puts on a silicone liner and socks to protect her stumps. After putting on one prosthetic at a time, she pulls on the baggy pants and a hooded sweatshirt.
*Alright, we're ready to rock!*
*Calm down, girl; don't expose yourself too much; be alert.*
*You've been in worse situations; this is no time to be afraid!*
*The pants are perfect; no one will notice the prostheses.*
*Go girl!*
Following her train of thought, Sarah leaves her fully accessible cabin, and the cold air fills her lungs. Making her arms work, she rolls her wheelchair up to the lodge and passes several people who wish her a good morning. A boy on crutches holds the door open for Sarah to enter; she thanks him and gives him a smile, leaving the boy red-faced. There were quite a few people, maybe too many, but Sarah just focused on the hot chocolate they were serving, then rolled over to the fireplace.
*It seems like everyone is looking at me.*
*There are people with all types of disabilities here.*
*Don't worry, you're disabled too!*
*You should talk to them, girl!*
*We just left the cabin; that's great progress.*
Keeping her hand warm with the cup of hot chocolate and watching the fire, more thoughts arise:
*What if someone asks about my legs?*
*Relax, no one will realize they are prosthetics!*
*What if they ask personal questions—what do I do or where do I live?*
*Hey, my name is Sarah; I kill people. Now leave me alone!*
*A little rude, better not to respond like that!*
Sarah goes back to get another cup of hot chocolate to calm her nerves and her thoughts. She returns to the fireplace, in a spot where there is no one. Suddenly, Sarah hears the sound of crutches approaching. She turns around and sees a red-haired girl coming towards her.
*Shit, she's getting closer*
*Calm down, girl, breathe*
*What the fuck is that on her legs?*
*Be polite*
"Hi, I'm Collene." She extends her hand to Sarah.
"Hello! I'm Sarah!" They shake hands.
"You look a bit lonely, Sarah. Can I keep you company?" Collene smiles, showing her orthodontic braces.
*Why did she choose me?*
*Do I look so lonely?*
*Maybe she is!*
*It would be nice to talk to someone!*
"Sure, make yourself at home, Collene." Sarah smiles, showing her perfect white teeth without braces.
"It's beautiful here, isn't it? Especially with the snow we got last night." Collene brings up the subject.
"Yeah... Very beautiful." Sarah agrees; it was really beautiful.
"I love it here. I'm visiting with friends and my fiancé, who will be my husband in a few days' time. We're getting married here." Collene seemed to be very excited and anxious.
"How wonderful. Congratulations, Collene." Sarah smiles broadly. "I can feel your happiness! Once again, congratulations!
"Thanks!" Collene thanks her shyly. "So, what brings you here, Sarah?"
"It was suggested by a friend and the rehabilitation center. I recently lost both of my..."
*Fuck*
*Fuck*
*Fuck*
"...I'm sorry... It's still difficult for me!" Sarah hangs her head in shame.
"It's okay, Sarah; don't feel embarrassed. When you're ready to talk, I'll listen!" Collene tries to cheer Sarah up.
"Thanks!"
"This is a beautiful place, and I feel at home here." Collene tries to change the subject quickly.
The conversation lasted for another hour. Sarah was feeling very good with Collene; she is a very happy and intelligent young woman. Collene understood that Sarah was not yet ready to talk about her condition, so she decided not to insist. For Sarah, this was wonderful; she hated being pressured. Collene also talked about her fiancé Billy and their work, so Sarah saw an opportunity to ask a question she wanted to ask as soon as she saw Collene:
"If you don't mind me asking, Collene, why do you have to wear braces on your legs and back?" Sarah was curious.
"When I was a girl, I lived abroad and contracted polio. My younger sister was here in the United States visiting our grandparents and was spared." Collene responds, accustomed to the question.
"Polio, someone as young as you?" Sarah is surprised. However, she remembers missions she participated in in poor countries with scarce medical resources. "That's very rare, but I've worked in places where it was still quite common."
*Shit, control your tongue, girl! I don't think she understood.*
"I know. Few people my age have had it, and I've had it very badly. But that was a long time ago, and I'm used to wearing my braces. I'm even used to people asking questions and looking at me; you must know how it is. But with our good looks, we'd get stares anyway." Collene smiles and shows the braces on her teeth again.
This comment made Sarah smile and laugh a lot. Firstly, because it was true, Sarah received a lot of compliments, but her laugh had a hint of sarcasm, because now the only compliments she would receive would be out of politeness or pity.
*Poor girl, she's so pretty, but her legs are useless!*
*Collene is not in the best condition; she has braces on her legs and back.*
*Why are some people so curious while some who go out of their way to ignore people with disabilities?*
*Control yourself, girl; breathe.*
"It's been a long time since I've had a good laugh, Collene... I'll tell you something: will you come to lunch with me? I'm really enjoying your company." Sarah asks hopefully.
Collene accepted the invitation with joy. With great style and agility, Collene gets up, and using her crutches leads the way. Sarah was behind and observed Collene's careful and precise movements on her crutches while rolling in her wheelchair. Sarah was impressed. They had a very pleasant chat over lunch, talking about the resort, the guests, and the chalets. After lunch, they went to sit by the fire again.
"So, Sarah, what are your hobbies? Billy and I spend most of our time working in the orthotics shop. However, we do find time to travel in our bus, and I do a lot of target practice at my friend Leigh's house. Her husband built her a great indoor pistol range." Collene curiously says to try and learn more about Sarah.
*Damn, it's a trap. She's a spy; don't fall for it!*
*Be careful, girl; don't expose yourself.*
*Does she practice target shooting? I would love to see that.*
*Maybe I can put a happy face on her target.*
"I don't really have any hobbies; my job was my life before... Traveling by bus sounds amazing. Your house may be small, but your backyard is the world!" Sarah pauses to think about what to say about shooting. "I don't have much experience with firearms, but I think it would be cool."
"Cool"? You have to try it. I'm sure you'll feel lighter and more relaxed after a few shots. I'm sure you'll find it more than "cool"!" Collene looked like she wanted to go shooting at that moment.
"You have a magical way of talking to people, Collene. I'm in the mood now." Sarah really felt like shooting and showing off her skills.
*Yes, I could hit your crutches with a McMillan Tac-50 at a mile.*
*Calm down, girl! Don't draw attention, or it will be difficult to explain.*
*Shooting standing up with these prostheses, would I fall?*
*I'd better shoot sitting down!"*
"Someday you could visit us, and we could shoot together. That would be great!" Collene was really excited.
"Maybe so, Collene. Someday." Sarah responds without wanting to give hope.
Suddenly, Sarah hears the sound of crutches approaching. She looks to her left and notices the figure of a man next to her. He was wearing braces like Collene's; they looked very similar.
*Who is he?*
*Are they handing out braces?*
*Where do I get mine?*
*Be nice, girl.*
"Hello, Collie. It looks like you've made a new friend." Billy smiles at his fiancé. He even has braces on his teeth, too.
Collene introduced me to Billy, her fiancé. I won't lie, I was very curious.
"So, Billy, did you have polio like Collene?" Sarah asks curiously.
"No, I didn't. I don't know if Collene told you about our work, but we make braces and prostheses. I made these braces for myself, and I'm wearing them for a week to experience a bit of what Collene's life is like." Billy explains.
"So you don't have to wear them?" Sarah raises an eyebrow, and the gears in her head start to turn.
"That's right, Sarah. I'm just seeing what it's like for Collie. I'm 100% physically fit." Billy explains once again. Sarah's mind works hard.
*Why is a guy who doesn't need to use braces using them?*
*He seems to be enjoying it; suspicious.*
*I don't remember sitting in a wheelchair without needing it.*
*He seems like a nice guy; don't mess it up, girl.*
*Think, think, think.*
I understand, and it makes a lot of sense to me since you work with them, too. Understanding the needs, the adjustments, and knowing how to respond to someone who needs them and how they feel. But I can see a bit of satisfaction on your face; I'd say you enjoy wearing them, am I right?" Sarah does a thorough reading of Billy.
"You're very good at reading people; I'm impressed." Collene was really impressed.
"You're right about everything, Sarah. Does it bother you? I mean, me liking to wear braces and also being engaged to Collene?" Billy seemed a little worried about Sarah's response.
"Not at all, Billy; the important thing is that you're happy, and especially that Collene is happy. I can see that you two are very much in love." Sarah states with a big smile, reassuring the couple.
"We are, and thank you, Sarah. Most people don't understand our love." Collene thanks her, showing the metal bands on her teeth once again with a friendly smile.
*That's right, he's a pretender; I knew it!*
*Calm down; we don't know yet. Don't screw it up, girl!*
*Be subtle; calm down so you don't scare them.*
"In rehab, they told me about pretenders and devotees. But I still can't form any thoughts about it." Sarah was feeling good about being honest.
"Well, maybe I am both. The first things that attracted me to Collie were her smile, her long red hair, and her leg braces. I was studying engineering at the time and knew nothing about the trade I'm in now. She didn't have braces on her teeth or her back at the time. In fact, her teeth were perfect until she got her brack brace. That ruined her teeth, and now she wears orthodontic braces too. I had mine when we met, and she thinks they're cute." Billy explains. Sarah is surprised but doesn't show it.
"Billy is a great guy, and we're madly in love. In fact, there are two types of devotees: those who are only attracted to a girl's disability and those like Billy, where disability is just one of the many things he finds attractive. It's no different from being attracted to a girl with glasses, a specific hair color, or a certain physique. Actually, of my physical features, my long hair is what turns Billy on the most, isn't it?" Collene explains and smiles at Billy. Now it makes perfect sense to Sarah.
"Yes, it is. I love girls with long hair, and when it's red, it drives me crazy. I loved her smile, too, and I love it even more since she got braces. I love Collene for many reasons, and if, by a miracle, she didn't need her braces anymore and even if her hair fell out, I'd still love her as much as I do now!" Billy was completely in love with Collene. Sarah smiles as she remembers that she herself was like that years ago.
*Wow, this is awesome. They are very cool.*
*How would Billy feel if I were using the same braces as Collene?*
*Stop thinking about that girl!*
*Do they have sex with the devices on? But how?*
*STOP! Don't you dare ask that!*
"I've never been told about this aspect of devotees. I think I understand, but there's a lot for me to try to understand these days." Sarah was feeling grateful to understand more about devotees.
"We have a friend here with us with whom you have something in common. Would you like to meet him?" Collene asks, looking excited.
"Well, I think so. I'd like to meet your friend." Sarah was nervous for a minute about meeting more people.
*'Something in common,' she said.*
*Damn, we are not exclusive anymore.*
*We had a flight instructor with only one arm; is he here?*
*Is he a spy? Does he like rock n roll? SEALs?*
*Don't be anxious, girl.*
Collene pulled out her phone and made a call. When she hung up, she said he was close by and would meet us soon. We talked for a while, and I asked Billy more about his work and the making of braces and prosthetics. Collene asked me about my tastes in music and my favorite dishes. Suddenly, a man appeared next to Collene in his wheelchair with no legs, just two stumps covered by a pair of tailored jeans.
*Now I understand "something in common.*
*Damn, I'm not the only one anymore!*
Collene introduced us, and to my surprise, the man was very polite and friendly. The kind of person you always want around.
"Nice to meet you, Sarah." Pat holds out his hand.
"Nice to meet you, Pat. I see we're in the same... situation." Sarah stares at Pat's stumps.
"Yes, it looks like we are, Sarah. I lost my legs as a child. What's your story?" Pat asks curiously.
*Damn, why does everyone want to know?*
*Why don't you ask me if I really defused the bomb in the Eurotunnel and if it's true that the Prime Minister and even the Queen thanked me personally?*
*Only I'm seeing this, or is Collene trying to signal Pat?*
"I mean, what brings you to Kings Mountain Retreat? It's a great place, and my husband,Terry, and I have been here before. What's your favorite thing to do here? On snowy or rainy nights, we love to sit by the fire and watch the snow and rain fall outside. When it's clear, we wrap up warm and go stargazing." Pat changes the subject abruptly. Sarah feels relieved.
"Sitting by the fire is all I've been doing, alone with my thoughts—so many thoughts. Ah, the other night I went out on deck and watched the meteor shower. Did you and Terry see that?" Sarah asked, excited about what she saw.
"Yes, we did. We were still at home then, and it was beautiful, wasn't it, Sarah?" Pat also seemed excited.
"It was nothing like I've ever seen." It's been a long time since Sarah enjoyed these things—sitting back, relaxing, and appreciating the little things.
We chatted for a while longer, bringing Collene and Billy into the conversation. I laughed at some of Collene and Pat's stories; his high spirits were contagious. I chatted a bit more with Terry about cars and places while we watched each other curiously. I tried as hard as I could not to reveal anything about my old job or anything more personal, but I ended up saying a few things that would have been better left unsaid. I think Terry noticed, so he suggested we all have dinner together at a steakhouse. After dinner, we went to the lounge for a few drinks. Pat stopped next to me; we were almost two meters away from Terry, Collene, and Billy.
"If you want to talk about your, um, situation, I'm here to help you, Sarah. I volunteer at the VA hospital and have helped many people through difficult life transitions. Unlike all the social workers and councilors, I know what it's like." Pat moves closer to Sarah and extends his hand, touching Sarah's arm.
"No! No, you don't, Pat! You lost your legs as a child. You don't know what it's like at all! My career is over. I have no future. Everything is gone; I have nothing! I could walk, run, and serve my country a year ago. Now I have nothing. I'm a useless cripple!" Sarah releases all her accumulated emotions.
*Damn it!*
*Don't take your anger out on Pat; it's not his fault.*
*Damn it!*
*Stop crying now.*
"You're right on one point, Sarah. I don't know what it's like to lose your legs as an adult with a career and a future planned. You're wrong about everything else. Your life isn't over, and you have a future—a bright future, if you choose to make it so." Pat looks into Sarah's eyes."
"But I'm stuck in this fucking chair. I can't do a fucking thing!" Sarah feels her eyes burn and fill with tears.
"You have prosthetic legs. You can get out of that fucking chair and walk around if you want to! I bet you can walk as well as I can when I use my legs. I'll tell you what, Sarah; tomorrow morning I'll put my legs on and I'll meet you at your cabin. We'll walk to the lodge together and have breakfast, just you and me. Then we'll spend the day with Terry, Collene, and Billy before you have to leave. What do you think of that, Sarah?" Pat asks with a smile on his face.
"I don't know, Pat. I don't know if I can do it. It's so..." Sarah responds, depressed.
*Damn, we're going down.*
*Don't be a coward; Pat will help us.*
*Swallow that crying girl!*
"Sarah, you can, and you will. You must do it! Even if you decide never to get out of that damn chair again, at least you can say you did it once! Your life isn't over; it's just beginning." Pat encourages.
"I'm sorry, Pat. I'm sorry for shouting. You're right. I'm in cabin 45, and I'll see you at seven. I hope you're an early riser." Sarah still feels embarrassed.
"I am, and I'll see you then, Sarah." Pat smiles and gently shakes Sarah's hand.
I looked over, and everyone was staring at us—correction, at me! Everyone was silent, and I felt embarrassed. I wiped my tears with the end of my shirt. Pat put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a contagious smile, which made me smile too.
A few minutes later, everyone was walking me to my cabin, which was not far away. The night was cold, but I felt warm. Warmed by these people, who had become so important to me in such a short time. I would kill many if I had to just to keep them safe. Arriving at my cabin, Collene bent down to give me a long, strong hug. I pulled away at first, then pulled her in tightly, feeling the irons on her back. When the hug ended, I grabbed her brace to steady her as she stood up so she didn't fall as Billy handed Collene her crutches.
"Thank you, Collene, my friend!" Sarah thanks her with a smile and a tear running down her cheek.
"See you tomorrow; good night, my friend!" Collene says goodbye, wiping the tears from Sarah's face.
The next morning, Sarah woke up determined. After her morning routine, she stared at her prosthetic legs, then at her stumps as she massaged them.
*Alright stumps, you two have a chance; don't disappoint me.*
*I promise not to call you useless.*
*Damn, why am I talking to my stumps?*
*Stop; you're going to hurt them. Treat them with affection.*
*Fuck, I'm going crazy*
After putting on her prostheses, Sarah stands up. She staggers a little and feels dizzy, but the bad feeling passes. She hears a knock on the door, then Pat identifies himself, and Sarah walks to the door in small steps. As she opens the door, Pat gives her a wide smile, embarrassing Sarah, but she gives her another smile in response, almost as wide.
The walk to the lodge is slow; Pat shows no haste, and Sarah is impressed by his control and poise. Pat held Sarah a few times so she wouldn't fall. By some miracle, and thanks to Pat's help, Sarah made it to the lodge unscathed. After a small breakfast, Pat called Terry and Collene, who soon arrived to find them by the fire.
The group formed up again after a few hugs, and there was a lot of chatter. Everyone was excited, especially for Sarah, because they saw her making an effort to face her fears and accept herself as she is. Everyone was happy, Sarah laughed many times, and everyone admired her smile, not because it was beautiful but because it was a completely different Sarah from the day before. This was the Sarah they wanted.
Losing track of time, Sarah's stumps started to hurt. She asked to go back to her cabin so she could remove her sockets, massage her stumps, and sit in her wheelchair. Pat and Billy stood up promptly, and Terry helped Sarah to her feet. Collene smiled and showed off her braces, making Sarah smile and remember when she wore a small removable brace on her teeth.
Everyone went to cabin 45. Sarah sat in her wheelchair and took off her prostheses, then began packing her bags with Collene's help. Sarah was beginning to feel sad. Sad about leaving these incredible people. Sad about not being able to be with them anymore and sad about not smiling. But her friends were still there, and sadness gave way to hope. The hope of one day being able to meet them again.
Finally, it was time to leave. They exchanged phone numbers, laughed some more, and Pat challenged her to a race at their next meeting. Sarah hugged Pat as tears streamed down her face. Sarah thanked everyone and promised to see them all again.
"Thank you!" were Sarah's simple parting words.
Sarah feels stronger and more motivated, renewed, and ready to face her new life and the challenges that await her.
Sarah does, indeed, face many challenges when she accepts 'Mission:Almost Impossible'.