Chapter 07a/22 - Free period, Part 2

They are only a few steps away from the door. Leonie hesitates. She doesn't want to go into the room. She is just about to start: »Let me quickly get this stupid headgear off...« when her classmates change direction: instead of going through the glass door, they branch off right in front of it and go up a flight of stairs. Leonie follows of course, relieved.

They come out on a balcony above the cafeteria, from where they can look down into the large room. Leonie stays as far away from the railing as possible. She has no fear of heights. But she also has no need to have several dozen eyes rivet on her. She acts as if the silver glint of the metal bow spanning around her would magically attract the eyes of everyone present. This is exaggerated, of course, but can she be blamed for being cautious?

Several small rooms, each with a glass door, are accessed from the balcony. Most are occupied, as a quick glance through each door reveals. But at the very end, a door stands ajar. The room is claimed, and the door is closed. The noise level drops significantly.

Relieved, Leonie sits down: a group of six or seven people is much easier to bear than the big pack. Especially when the people around her are clearly more unobtrusive and kind than the rest. THIS, she can endure again! She sighs relieved.

She doesn't want to say anything against the others. Leonie hasn't been in this class long enough to have a well-founded opinion. Nevertheless, in her current situation, she is more sensitive than usual. And therefore, she is allowed to choose how she deals with the situation, isn't she? And if she decides to spend her time with people who don't get on her nerves, that's her good right.

A little astonished, she then looks around: "It's nice here. We didn't have rooms like this in Kiel. Ideal for doing homework. Not nearly as loud as downstairs." She points in the direction of the cafeteria.

"In a few months, the 12th grades will probably permanently occupy these rooms, studying in here for Abitur," explains someone. "In any case, in here we are safe from the 'little ones'. They're not allowed up here!"

"Why not?"

"All this hasn't been around that long," Christoph speaks up. "This whole building, cafeteria and all, was built only recently. Just got finished last school year." He cocks his head: "And the decision was made that only the 9th grade upwards may use the rooms up here.... Probably so that we - the upper classes - have a place that's somewhat quiet."

And then he starts into a longwinded explanation of every single stage of construction until Karina cuts him off by saying: "Leonie surely isn't interested in that!"

"Still, I like it," Leonie nods. "At least here you can retreat a bit..." With that, she pulls her math notebook out of her backpack. But no one else makes any move to follow her example. And so, after a moment's hesitation, she puts the notebook back again. It's clear that the others' interest is not currently focused on homework. Instead, it's much more interesting to squeeze the new classmate further. Now even more so than this morning:



Christoph gets things started right away: "Why have you been late for Art? Did you get lost?"

Leonie is relieved: She hadn't expected this question. She had expected the conversation to take a different turn. She had expected her classmates to be much more upfront in their first question.

And that's exactly what happens next! Jessica after all is rather clumsy. Since she perceives herself as Leonie's 'protector', she stares at Christoph with a disapproving look that clearly says: »Don't ask such a stupid question! It's obvious why she was late!« Then Jessica's eyes wander and rivet to the silver bow around Leonie's face.

Who notices this stare, of course, and blushes. This in turn is noticed by Jessica, who turns away, embarrassed.

Leonie sighs: "No, not because of that. Has nothing to do with the headgear." She grins and shows her silver smile again, now even more accentuated by the metal bow. "I really almost got lost: I was going to call my dad and let him know when school ended. I didn't know that yesterday; I didn't get the schedule until this morning after all. But because the cell-reception at the Art room was lousy, I went outside at the next exit."

She shrugs, "And then I couldn't get back in, because the door wouldn't open. It doesn't have a handle on the outside. So, I had to walk around the whole school looking for an open entrance! And when I finally found one, I didn't really know where I was anymore." She grins embarrassed "And when I finally knew, the bell had already rung."



"Does your father worry if you don't let him know where you are?" The questioner sounds astonished. After all, they're all old enough, aren't they?

Leonie shakes her head: "No, that's not it. But he has to pick me up after all. I still have no idea how the busses run here or whether one is going in my direction at all."

"There are enough busses."

"How did you get to school today then?"

"Dad drove me", is Leonie's answer.

"Where do you live?"

"Uh, what's that place called? I just can't remember the name: 'Talhausen', or something like that?" She pulls out her smartphone, but before she can find out the villages name, someone speaks up:

"You probably mean Thalfeld. I don't live there, but at least in the same direction. If you want to, can we go to the bus together later?"

Leonie gratefully accepts. She wants to let her father know that he doesn't have to pick her up, so she leaves the room so as not to disturb the others by talking on the phone. After a short time, she returns: "My father expresses his thanks. He's quite grateful for not having to come and fetch me." She laughs. "He's just about to set up an IKEA shelf and that seems to cost him a lot of nerves."

Then she grins: "By the way... what are their names again? The couple?"

"You mean Konrad and Annika?"

"Probably... In any case: They have 'absconded'."

"That's not all that unusual", another girl also grins broadly: "For a few weeks now, they can't keep their hands off each other. Should you really want to, you could probably find them under the stairs to the gym. It's quite out-of-the-way. And so cold that they have to warm each other with their bodies. You catch my drift?"

Someone else adds: "But if I were you, I wouldn't risk it, if you do not want to see something that you then can no longer unsee." Most of them laugh and grin suggestively.



"About the IKEA shelf: I didn't even think about it," Christoph speaks up again. "Do you really move with all of the furniture every time? It must be a huge effort for a couple of months."

Leonie shakes her head: "Heavens, no. That would hardly be feasible. We would be busy for weeks every time. As soon as we have set up the stuff, we would have to take it down again. And after the second move, the furniture would fall apart... No, that'd be too much of a hassle."

"No, my father usually rents a furnished apartment. He's done that again now. It's usually a better vacation home of sorts where we live for a few months." She shrugs her shoulders: "And depending on how well furnished the apartment is, we just have to buy a few more accessories. The flat we rented now, is a bit subpar. So, my father needs a desk - and that shelf - for his files. And I need a desk for myself too and a few other little things if I don't want to do homework on the sofa."

"And the landlords then either buy the furniture from us or we take it back with us. My father rented a garage close to where we used to live. That is where the things are stored, that we don't need at the moment!"

"But that's still a lot of effort, I think."

"Of course it is," Leonie nods. "You know, I've already asked him why he doesn't want to work for ONE company on a permanent basis. Just like many millions do..."

It is obvious that her classmates had already had the same thought; but did not dare to ask.

"It's very simple: He can earn a lot more when he travels. He is one of the few leading experts in Germany when it comes to all that electric car stuff after all. And by that I don't mean where it's best to set up the electric chargers. He's the industry expert. Battery technology, electric motors and so on!" Just like earlier this morning, there is a lot of pride in her voice.

"And because it's booming right now like crazy, he can earn significantly more if he doesn't always work for the same company! To put it simple: He can ask for more if he can choose whom to work for."

"Don't take it amiss, but that would bother me if I were you." One of the girls, who doesn't have a name yet, says cautiously after just listening until now.

"It sure bothers me", Leonie has to agree. "But he promised me that he doesn't want to go on like this forever either. A few more years, then he'll look for a permanent position again. Like he had before... well... before the accident."

The same girl protests: "But until then you still have to change schools every few months!"

Leonie sighs. That cannot be avoided. But since she doesn't intend to become a doctor anyway, she doesn't need an all A* report. Sure, changing schools has some downsides, but it's not as bad as it looks.

"At some point I'll have my own apartment anyway." She ponders for a moment: "If I've got it right, the Youth Welfare Office even suggested that I should have been able to find my own apartment when I turned 16." She shrugs her shoulders. "But I didn't want to do that back then. And NOW - in the middle of the year - it doesn't make any sense anymore. Maybe during the summer vacation, at the beginning of the next school year. It would be nice not to have to move shortly before Abitur. Well, I'll just have to see."

With that final response, it is clear to all that this topic has come to a point where it should not be pursued any further. At least not on the first day. Maybe later, when they know each other a little better and know how the other side reacts.

Chapter 08a/22 - About braces, Part 2

"May I ask you something?" Jessica begins cryptically.

"Is that about that?" Leonie snaps one finger against the metal bow. "Probably, isn't it?"

"Is it that obvious?" the questioner seems to be increasingly embarrassed. "If you don't want to, I can fully understand...",

Leonie shakes her head: "It's not my most favorite topic, but let's be honest!" She grins: "Such a 'treatment device' is quite unusual, I get that. It would be completely unrealistic if there were no questions. To be honest, I expected much worse. So, we can get it over with. And I have no problem with YOU guys anyway."

"I have no problem with the others finding out about it either." Then she sighs: "Only I don't want to be questioned and stared at in front of everyone. Especially as long as people like Marcel are around." She looks over at Jessica: "Yes, I admit, that HAD bothered me! Especially when he held his stupid strap in front of my face and wanted to hook it on my headgear. It didn't take much for me to punch him in the face!"

"Would have served him right," is the majority's opinion.

Then Leonie grins widely. "So, what did you want to know?"

After this address, it is not easy for Jessica to ask her question. She feels that despite - or because of? - Leonie's 'permission' - she would annoy the girl who would probably only put up a happy-face-facade. It's probably better to change the question:

"The way you said that it sounds to me like we're not the first to pester you like that."

That was not a question, but a statement. Leonie answers nevertheless: More precisely: she laughs: "No, definitely not. But really, I mean it! You don't bother me!" With that she throws another gummy bear into her mouth.

"Are you even allowed to eat sweets 'like that'?" The phrase 'like that' in Jessica's question of course stands for: 'with your headgear in'.

Leonie grins again and puts another gummy bear in her mouth: "As long as you don't tell on me, I may." Then she shrugs her shoulders: "Actually, I am not allowed, but... who of you had braces? Most of you, I presume?"

Most of the people in the room raises a hand or nod, Jessica being the sole exception. And that is something that Leonie had already noticed earlier: Her bench-neighbor still has crooked teeth. Not overly so... Jessica wouldn't have to hide her teeth in shame. And in fact: The girl doesn't. She does not seem to mind at all that her teeth aren't perfectly straight. Leonie however thinks it not advisable to mention that topic at all. And so she continues instead:

"Well, I don't believe that any of you had to wear headgear, but... who of you still chewed gum or ate nuts or did something, that your orthodontist actually forbade you from doing?" The fingers rise up again. "There you go! It's no different with headgear. Of course, I have to take it out when doing sports. I don't want to get a ball in the face with this thing on. Ouch! No thanks."

"But apart from that, there is practically no difference. Except for 'the looks' of course!" Leonie sighs very theatrically: "ESPECIALLY 'the looks'..."



Jessica nods. But now that Leonie has repeatedly given permission to question her, the next question comes up pretty quickly, because Christoph asks: "You really have to wear that thing?"

Jessica answers before Leonie can: "Really now, that's a stupid question." Then she looks over at Leonie as if to apologize for Christoph's 'stupid question'.

And Karina, wanting to ingratiate herself, adds: "Do you think she wears such a super-conspicuous brace in school because she likes to do so? That really was a stupid question, Christoph". Without realizing that she had just made an insensitive statement herself.

The boy defends himself: "I meant whether she wears headgear to school because she absolutely has to or because it doesn't bother her that much."

Jessica snaps: "You don't think that..."

"Guys, I'm still here as well! You don't have to talk over my head!" interjects Leonie.

Then she sighs: "As always, it's a little complicated with me." She turns to Christoph: "Actually both. If I didn't have to, I would definitely not wear it to school, you can be sure of that. But, you know, I've had this thing long enough now that I've gotten used to it somehow." She laughs dryly "Of course it's not easy, but somehow it works out. Does that answer your question?"

Christoph nods. "I was just wondering why you didn't take it out even when you went down to the snack-machine. Even with that many people down there. Whether you had to wear the brace that badly and so on."

"No, that's not it", Leonie shakes her head, "Well, I am supposed to wear this thing as much 'as possible'" Leonie paints air-quotes with her fingers. "But nobody would give me hell for taking it out for a short time. Apart from you guys, nobody would even have known that I took it out."

"Another thing: If I really would've needed to wear this thing so badly that I couldn't even take it out for two minutes, I would have already worn it this morning as well and not only put in during the lunch break."

The argument makes sense to the others. At least partially, because she is asked: "But all in all, it is quite important for you to wear your facebow? Because you wear it to school at all!"

And someone different adds: "This is your first day here after all. I wouldn't have done that if I were you!" The same girl then adds a hasty "I'm sorry. Shouldn't I have said that?" as she sees Leonie's cheeks turn the color of strawberries again.

"No, no, it's OK," Leonie answers. Then she sighs, "Yes: I really have to wear that stupid thing. And yes: You're right about that. I really would have liked a few more days to get used to the new school - and you - before I showed up with headgear."

The nods of those sitting around show that they would probably have behaved exactly in a similar situation.

Leonie shrugs. "I would have liked to, believe me. I wasn't at all keen on making such a spectacle on the very first day of school. But there was no other way. And the fact that I haven't worn the bow for all that long makes things even more embarrassing." She laughs: "It's embarrassing as hell to sit between you with this thing on. And that, even though you are much nicer than the crowd down there. "

She searches for words: "As I said, everything is still terribly embarrassing at the moment. Whether I'm sitting here or going down to the snack-machine. I certainly wouldn't want to sit down there for the entire hour. I couldn't stand that! But hopping down to the vending machine for a quick minute, that's fine. Especially because I had backup..." A quick, grateful look to Jessica.

"But because I have to wear the thing despite everything, I just want to get used to it as quickly as possible. Because then everything will become easier. The more I wear it, the better I get used to it. And the better I get used to it, the easier it will be to wear it. You know what I mean?"

The others nod, even though it's clear from their faces that they can't imagine it ever getting 'easy' to have to wear a brace like that in the first place. Let alone sitting in school with such a conspicuous treatment device.



Karina adds: "Jump into the deep end, so to speak."

"And hope that I can swim," nods Leonie.

"And hope that some idiots don't push you underwater," Jessica points over her shoulder towards the door. In the general direction where Marcel and his cronies can be found.

"He certainly didn't mean any harm", Christoph defends his classmate. Yes, sure, Marcel is sometimes the class clown and says things that are 'not appropriate', but he certainly doesn't mean any harm. He just doesn't think before opening his mouth.

"I believe you," Leonie plays with the cap of her soda bottle. "I readily believe that he didn't really want to anger me. He probably thought it was a good joke. Still! Do you know how much effort it takes to actually wear headgear? And then endure being stared at by - I don't know - thirty pairs of eyes? Even without such stupid statements?"

The others nod in agreement.

"And I really don't need someone reaching into my face for a stupid joke, and maybe even ripping out my headgear!"

"He wouldn't have done that at all. It was just a joke...", Christoph defends his buddy, but then - due to the indignant looks around him - he feels compelled to concede: "But I have to admit that he went too far there..."

Christoph shrugs his shoulders. From the expression on his face, it is quite clear that he thinks that the criticism of Marcel is exaggerated. Of course, he acts a little rashly from time to time, but that doesn't mean that he needs to be chastised like that. But Christoph thinks it wiser to be silent. After all, his opinion is clearly in the minority.

"As I said, I have to wear this thing regularly.... So, if I can will myself to do it, from now on I'll be wearing it more often to school," Leonie flicks a finger against the metal bow again, "Probably not every day, I certainly don't feel like doing THAT. But most days..."

She raises a finger. "But even then, only in the afternoons. I really don't need the 'little ones' running after me, laughing and sneering. I made that mistake once and then had to regret it for weeks."

A few of the people sitting around her grimace at the thought of being chased by a crowd of jeering fifth-graders.

Chapter 10/22 - A strict father

A glance at the clock: The free period is well advanced, but there is still some time left.

Leonie sighs: "Somehow I envy you! My orthodontists can't agree with each other: One says, »It's possible without headgear«, and the next says, »Without it, we don't even need to start«. And now I'm once again stuck with one who demands me 'buckling in'." With that, she flicks her finger against the metal bow again.

"I could thankfully do without it, but.... I don't really know how to put it.... I'm afraid - no, that's the wrong word - I'm just a little worried that the orthodontists who wanted me to wear headgear might be right. That I really need it and that I'll have to kick myself in the ass if I don't wear it and then the result isn't as nice as it could be. Can you understand that?"

Her classmates nod. "Do you think that will happen?" asks Susanne.

"I just don't know. That's why I'm a little nervous," Leonie replies. "Maybe it would work out for me without that thing. Just like it went well for you. But maybe it wouldn't." She raises her hands in a kind of helpless gesture: "An orthodontist certainly doesn't prescribe headgear without a reason... so there must be something behind it. I've been through three years of treatment now. I just want to make sure that in the end all the effort wasn't in vain."

"I'm sure that even without the headgear your teeth will be straighter," someone interjects.

"Sure," Leonie agrees, then shrugs. "But now, after three years, I don't know if 'straighter' is enough for me. I've put so much energy into it by now that I want really nice and absolutely straight teeth in return, you know?"

"I understand you, Leonie, but for me personally it wouldn't have been worth it. I admire you for having the courage to come to school like that. I however wouldn't have done that. No matter how urgently I would have had to wear that thing. And no matter if my parents would have demanded it of me now or not..." The girl looks over at Susanne, who shrugs.



"And I can understand your argument, too." Leonie nods. "It's just that my father wouldn't allow me not to wear my headgear enough," she then adds resignedly.

"Really? Is he that strict?"

"Well, depends. Depends on what you're talking about!" Leonie shrugs, "If I wanted to be particularly melodramatic, I could say, »He usually fulfills my every wish and whim«!" A giggle can be heard from one or two of the girls.

"Yes, I know that's a quite exaggerated. Let's put it this way: my father knows that he doesn't make life easy for me with his job and the constant moving. He tries to do everything in his power to make me feel comfortable and all that" She nods slowly "And that works, too. After all, I don't want to - and can't - complain!" She turns to Susanne: "You said it quite nicely: I also have a 'fool's freedom' with my father!" There is silence for a few seconds as Leonie pursues her thoughts.

"But when it comes to braces, he's pretty strict," she continues: "He's like: »It's your health that's at stake here, we can't do things halfheartedly«! That's why he insists that I stick to everything the doctors want me to do. My new orthodontist insists on me wearing headgear again. And so, my dad tries to make sure that I follow orders."

"What's more, he also wants me to stick to the wearing schedule completely." She shrugs. "That I have to wear this stupid thing every single hour that the orthodontist requires me to. That's why my dad now insists that I wear the headgear to school."

"Really now?" She is stared at from many wide-open eyes. "Your father is making you wear headgear to school?"

"No, no, no," Leonie corrects. "That might have been worded wrongly! No, he doesn't 'make me'. He's not standing behind me with a cane or something! It's not that bad. But he wants me to stick to the wearing schedule. And if I can only do that if I put the stupid thing on at least part of the time at school, then he has a hard time understanding why I don't want to do that..."

"So, he is forcing you after all..."

"There still is a difference between 'forcing' and 'demanding'," Leonie corrects. "OK, maybe let's put it this way: My father always says that my orthodontist prescribed this exact wearing schedule for a reason. If the doctor had been satisfied with me wearing my headgear less, he would have prescribed a shorter time to begin with."

"Well, that's a stupid argument, I think," Susanne retorts. "Sure, it's important to wear the brace as much as possible, but my doctor had always said that an hour more or less doesn't matter!"

The nods from the others indicate that they share this opinion. And coming from Susanne - who also had worn headgear - the comment carries even more weight.

"I'm right there with you, Susanne," Leonie nods. "But my father just sees it differently." She shrugs, "I understand him somehow though: The headgear can do its job only when I wear it."



She pauses, pondering: "And if I'm completely honest, he doesn't insist that I 'absolutely' have to wear the headgear to school! My father probably doesn't even care how and where I wear it. But what he does care about is that - you guessed it - I fully-and-absolutely comply with the wearing schedule!"

She makes an eloquent gesture with her arms "And if I can't do that during the week, then I'll have to make up the time on the weekend." Leonie looks decidedly unenthusiastic. "But if I do THAT... If I really had to make up ALL the time on the weekend that I didn't wear the headgear enough during the week, then I wouldn't have any free time at all! Then I'd just be allowed to take the facebow out to eat and otherwise have to wear it all weekend. From Friday afternoon when I come home from school until Monday morning when I leave for school again!"

The eyes of those sitting around her open once again. The contents of the gummy bear package have shrunk considerably in the meantime, because Leonie keeps reaching into the bag. And the others also enjoy the sweets.

"And I really don't like the sound of that!" Leonie continues. "So... if 'AFTER-school' and 'making-up-time-on-WEEKENDS' isn't enough, then there is only one thing left: 'DURING-school'!" Another shrug.

"That would piss me off so bad..." summarizes Christoph the opinion of the others.

"I would still prefer to wear headgear all weekend instead of going to school with it," one of the girls remarks.

"I wear it more on weekends than during the week anyway. But I want to tell you one thing: wearing the stupid headgear practically around the clock is SUPER-exhausting! Having no free time 'at all' is a major pain in the ass."

"When I got my brace three years back, in theory I should've worn it to school as well. But I didn't do that. I didn't dare back then. But dad did insist on me wearing my headgear every single hour. So I know, what it feels like, having to wear headgear the entire weekend: It SUCKS!" Leonie puts a LOT of emphasis on the last word.

"Apparently it was so bad that you now prefer wearing it to school, right?". This is half question, half statement from Jessica.

"As you can see!", Leonie points with both hands to her metal bow. "The thing is: if I wear it to school for at least SOME time, then I've freed up a bit of time so that I have some leeway at home. And then it is suddenly again much easier to bear having to wear the stupid thing 'only' for most of the day instead of around-the-clock."

"In other words: Because dad insists that I stick to the schedule completely, I only have two choices: Either I wear headgear to school and have some free time at home. And then it's bearable. Or I do NOT wear headgear to school. But then I certainly will go crazy at home when I'm only allowed to take the brace out for meals."

Another sigh, "That's why I'm wearing the stupid thing NOW. Mostly so my dad will stop bugging me about it!" Again, she hangs on her thoughts for several seconds:



"Well, he's right somehow! Nothing comes from nothing. If I don't wear the thing, it can't work.... I can understand that. And as you have seen: There's still a lot to do with my teeth before they stand the way they should. And that's why I kind of do a mix of everything:"

"I wear headgear for a few hours at school." She corrects herself, "At least that's my plan: to wear the stupid headgear at school for a few hours every day. And then a several more hours at home. Because then I'll manage to make up the time on weekends and still have some free time every day! And THEN it's bearable. Not really nice, but bearable."

Then she laughs dryly: "At least that's my plan. No idea if it will work in the long run. Because my new orthodontist insists that I wear the stupid facebow every day for 'quite a long time'. Because it's just been sitting in the drawer for the last couple of months. »Your treatment has gone on long enough, it's high time for something to finally happen«, the doctor had said. The 'lost time' has to be made up and all that nonsense... That's why the doctor and Dad are so strict with me now."

She sighs, "He's kind of right about that though. Even if I don't want to hear it. My treatment REALLY has gone on for long enough!" She laughs contrived: "The only way to see it end, is to wear my headgear 'more' from now on. So much more, in fact, that I can only do it when I put it on at school in the afternoons."

With a grin, she points theatrically at the silver bow, "Well, and you see what came of it!"

"Can't he understand that he's asking a terribly embarrassing thing of you there?" asks Karina. And then adds a contrite "Sorry!" as she realizes that Jessica is staring her down.

"I would never have dared. Never in my life. No matter how my parents would have pressured me.... I would never have done it," Susanne shakes her head vehemently. The others seem to feel the same way.

Leonie shrugs her shoulders.



"What would happen if you didn't wear the brace to school?", Christoph wants to know.

Leonie looks at him thoughtfully for a second. "Probably nothing. My father wouldn't hit me, if that's what you mean. Neither would he scold me. No, no, no, my father is not like that. You have a completely wrong picture of him there. No, something like that would definitely not happen. And I wouldn't be grounded, and he wouldn't take away my Playstation either..."

She thinks for a second, "But I think he'd bug me with it until I finally 'volunteered' to wear headgear in school." She draws the air-quotes around the word 'volunteered'.

Then she grins dryly, "No, that's wrong: I don't 'think' he would do it that way; I KNOW that he would. How long do you think my father and I argued just during the last weekend before I finally caved in and strapped that metal bow around me at school..."

"»Think about your health!« and »Don't you want nice straight teeth?«. I'd have to listen to that kind of stuff all day - every day - if I didn't wear my brace enough. And I don't feel like that either!"

Opinions are divided: »That would have annoyed me too!« is one answer.

"If I wouldn't have to wear headgear to school in return, I wouldn't mind the bad mood at home!" someone interjects.

Leonie plays with a gummy bear before it finally disappears into her mouth. Her permanent smile loses a bit of its strength: "But I would mind. I think you can understand that it's not easy for me to argue with my father. Especially after everything that happened a few years ago.... He's all I have left..."

Half-abashed silence all around. This is also noticed by Leonie, who claps her hands in a decidedly good-humored manner. "Now I've ruined the mood. I didn't mean to. Sorry! The simple fact is: Before I non-stop argue with my father, I'd rather put my headgear on. Especially because I know that he is right."

"Yes, you are right as well: It IS embarrassing, having to wear that thing to school. But if I can get used to it, hopefully soon it won't be as bad anymore!"

Chapter 11a/22 - Even more information, Part 2

Susanne asks: "I'm sorry if I come back to that old topic, but did your orthodontist actually say something about how long you have to wear headgear? You said that you might have to wear braces until after graduation. Are you serious?"

Leonie sighs and doesn't answer immediately. Susanne looks surprised and embarrassed: "Wrong question?"

"No, no, it's okay! I was just thinking what the orthodontist had said exactly!" fends off Leonie. "No, he didn't say when I would lose it. But, if I understood him right, I shouldn't expect to get rid of that facebow too quickly. The headgear apparently still has a lot of work to do. I will definitely have to wear it the remainder of the school year. And after that? No idea! I'll just have to wait and see."

"»The remainder of the school-year«? Uff, that's more than half a year!", Karina gets wide-eyed. "You really have to wear headgear THAT long?"

Jessica stares at her classmate: "You heard Leonie: She hasn't worn her headgear all that much until now! So, she has to make up for it!"

"Well yes, but... over half a year!... that would be an eternity and a half to me! Is it really necessary to wear such a brace for that long?" The last question was directed towards Susanne.

Who blushes: "No clue. I had mine only a couple of months until the orthodontist realized that it's futile. I can't tell you how long I would have had to wear it in earnest." She cocks her head: "On the other side... I HAD it for several months. So yes: Half a year sounds reasonable." Quickly she adds: "Depends on the type of malocclusion and so on. Sometimes it goes faster and sometimes it takes longer..."

"My treatment takes longer," oracles Leonie. "That I will have to wear my 'normal' fixed braces till graduation - or longer - that really may happen! After all, Abitur is already next year. Another year in braces: May very well be! Probably longer. But that's not that bad. Those don't bother me." She gets wide-eyed, "But I really hope I'll have gotten rid of the headgear by then!"

The others nod affirmatively.

"Half a year in headgear is basically a given. I just hope that this won't turn into a full year!"

The others nod more intensely.

Leonie laughs: "Provided, of course, we don't move again in the meantime and the new orthodontist has a completely different strategy again. In theory, that could happen. But THEN I haven't the slightest idea, how it would continue from then on. Just provided that we stay here for the rest of the year: If I really do everything as Dr. Reinhard wants me to, from here on out you will probably see me regularly until the summer vacation with that thing in my mouth."

"Of course in your mouth", Karina laughs, "if you wear it around your neck, it might look stylish but doesn't do much else!"

All the other - Leonie included - roll their eyes.



Loud laughter and hoots from below penetrate into this room. Leonie looks thoughtfully to the door. Those who can see her face can clearly see what the girl is thinking. And the rest can guess without Leonie having to say it out loud:

It would make things a lot easier if she didn't have to constantly deal with stupid comments and stares. Hopefully the others will pull themselves together.

She grins lopsided "My father insists that I stick to the wearing schedule... So, I probably will wear that thing every afternoon to school. Or most of them, at least." A short break, then she sighs theatrically: "And if I feel particularly brave, starting in a few weeks maybe even in the mornings."

As already mentioned several times in the conversation, this ensures astonished looks, raised eyebrows and 'Uff' from more than one throat. Garnished with sentences like »Are you serious« and »Do you really have to?«

"I probably won't have to 'really really' wear it in the mornings. Probably not even Dr. Reinhard or my father would insist on it. But simplified a bit: 'The more, the better!' The more I wear headgear - the more I can bring myself to wearing it - the easier it will become for me and the faster I get rid of it.

"And, well, if I'm already wearing it in the afternoon anyway, then it's not quite as much of a stretch to strap it on in the mornings as well."

"Speak for yourself," starts Susanne.

Leonie however doesn't let herself be interrupted: "Because... calculate it for yourselves: If I were to wear my headgear only after lunch, that would be - depending on the day - two to four hours. But if I wear it in the mornings as well: First through sixth period, that's five full hours. That's a lot!"

"If I could get myself to wear my headgear throughout school, I could easily meet the schedule. Then I'd have some more free time in the afternoons. AND the weekends wouldn't be cram-packed anymore. Then I could hit the city together with you without having to wear my headgear. That sounds nice, don't you think? And who knows, maybe my treatment would really go a little faster."

"You almost sound like you want to wear headgear..."

Leonie laughs out loud. "Absolutely not. But you know... If I can get used to it.... well, then it'll be easier. At least I hope so. Because, right now, I don't feel like being stared at from hundreds of eyes, when I have to walk through the main hall with my headgear in!"

"And if you only wear your headgear in class and then take it out when we have to change classrooms?" suggests Susanne. "Then nobody would see you. Well, nobody but us. Then it wouldn't be quite as bad."

Leonie nods slowly: "That's not a bad idea! I will probably really do it that way." Then she laughs and shakes her head: "If I wear this thing in the mornings at all. To be honest, at the moment I have absolutely NO desire to do so and..."

The school gong brings the conversation to an abrupt end. The bag of gummy bears is almost empty, Leonie takes the last pieces of jelly and then throws the empty bag away.

Part 3

Monday late afternoon

Chapter 13/22 - At home

Calling this place home is something Leonie has a hard time with. Everything is still unfamiliar to the girl when she unlocks the front door. Maybe in a few weeks it will be different; maybe she has settled in by then?

It is more likely however that she will never call this apartment 'home'. Just like the apartment in which they lived in Kiel never had this designation. She climbs the stairs to the first and then to the second floor.

Even after three years, 'home' still is where she lived as a child for the longest time. What her father had given up on - two years after the death of his wife - when he became a travelling expert on his long journey across Germany and took his daughter with him. The house the three of them had lived in and where he no longer felt comfortable after his wife never came back from that darn family celebration five years ago.

Leonie unlocks the apartment-door: Attic. Sloping walls. The room layout is a little strange and the apartment overall not that big. But surprisingly bright and warm. And the sloping walls don't bother her too much. The furniture may not be the latest trend but they are good enough. So, all in all a somewhat decent, but slightly subpar apartment. In the last few years, she had lived a lot better, but also worse.

Leonie sighs: 'Home' is perhaps not defined by the apartment in which she lives. But by the person she lives with: her father. Father and entire rest of her family. And thank goodness an absolutely great person!



"Well, child, how was your first day in your new school?" her father is standing in the doorway to the kitchen. She can hear the pan sizzling, not to mention that she can also smell the sausages.

"Yes, I wish you a nice day too, dear father!" Leonie retorts. "Short version: Just like all the times before. Long version during lunch. I don't care what it'll be, as long as there is enough." She is already on her way to the living room to put her school bag down. "I'm starving!"

"Sausages, mashed potatoes and sauerkraut. Enough of everything," he calls back. "Since we're in the Deep South, why not adapt to their eating habits..."

Shortly afterwards they sit at the kitchen table and Leonie talks about her day. "By the way, I now know how the busses run. A girl in my class - if I could only remember her name - explained it to me. From tomorrow on you won't need to drive me, I can take the bus. We just have to figure out how to get a monthly ticket."

The father has his cell phone next to him and makes a quick note to take care of it.



Suddenly his phone rings. Sighing, the father picks up and has a short conversation. Meanwhile, Leonie continues to eat, not fazed by the phone call.

"It's been like this all day." he then complains. "And that even though I won't officially start until the day after tomorrow."

"Annoying people?" Leonie asks. She is not surprised by the phone call. But also not pleased. Her father is 'on call' almost anytime and anywhere. And people exploit that sometimes more, sometimes less. He had just said it himself: [/i]'Officially'[/i] he will start his new position as a consultant in two days, unofficially the phone has already been ringing for days.

"You can that say out loud. I even had to drive by there this morning to clear up a few details. They seem to be under a lot more pressure than I had thought. No wonder they didn't haggle my price at all."

"In the end you will have to get your camp bed out of storage and sleep in the factory", the daughter smiles. The humor, however, has not reached her eyes.

"That's completely out of question," her father contradicts emphatically. "THOSE times are over. For good! Everything has its limit somewhere." Then he sighs, reaches across the table, and gently touches Leonie's arm: "I know that you have to put up with a lot because of me: We moved again in the middle of the school year, you had to leave your friends in Kiel and..." he interrupts himself in the middle of a sentence. For a few seconds, both of them linger on their own thoughts.

"I draw the line where I think I cannot spend enough time with you. And then the others have to queue up. No matter who they are. It's that simple."

Leonie nods; two feelings fight for supremacy in her breast: »I am more important to dad than his job« and »he still drags me everywhere!«

But that is not an issue they have to discuss now. Not on the first day of school and certainly not during dinner. Incidentally, that wouldn't help either. Because they have already talked about it. Multiple times. And yet everything stays the way it is.



At some point lunch is over, the dishes are put in the dishwasher - at least this apartment, unlike the one in Kiel, has a dishwasher - and the table is wiped. "Have you got homework yet?"

"Yes and no," is Leonie's cryptic answer. "Yes, I have homework, I can't do most of it though. Math and English are fine, but History, for example: No clue! They are at a completely different topic here than in Kiel. But at least the class teacher - and most of the others too - understand that I have to settle down first. But that didn't stop them from making me write a test today!"

As her father lifts his eyebrows, she recounts what had happened today in English class.

"And your classmates?"

"The usual mix of nice people and idiots. A completely demented asshat named Marcel is there; the greatest idiots in Kiel were nothing against him. But to make up for it, there were some really nice people with whom I hung out in a free period and who absolutely pestered me with questions. I hope I will remember their names tomorrow." She counts them on her fingers: "Jessica, Monika, Karina... Susanne and Christoph. A few others I've already forgotten the names of."

She then tells how she stood lost in the doorway at the beginning of the first period and how Jessica had waved her over. The father is visibly relieved: He is happy that his daughter has found friends so quickly. That somewhat relativizes the 'burden' he feels on his shoulders.



Leonie doesn't notice her father's thoughts, she grins broadly: "Have you actually finished building your shelf? Earlier today you sounded pretty annoyed. I was afraid that in the end I would have to set it up for you."

The father laughs, leads his daughter into the living room - which also serves as the study - and 'proudly' presents the finished shelf behind his desk. In which there are not many files and books yet. "I'm still filing things away. I can't do much if the phone rings all the time."

"But because I knew that you like helping, I thought that you would surely want to help me with the sorting." Leonie's grin fades, but that of his father gets bigger. "Or you can assemble your desk yourself. I haven't gotten around to it yet. All I got around to today was building your and my shelf."

Chapter 14/22 - Harmless questions

A few minutes later, two things have changed: First, they relocated from the kitchen to the living room.

The father slowly and methodically transfers his files from the moving boxes into the shelf. At least now there is going to be some order in the chaos. In the last few days, he had dug one folder after the other out of the boxes when his new clients wanted to know something from him. And due to the lack of a shelf-space, the folders were scattered everywhere. Now, there is finally dedicated space for the files.

His desk in front of the shelf was more or less the first thing that was set up. To have a space for his computers.

Leonie is sitting cross-legged on the floor. This is where the second change comes into play: She is now wearing her headgear again. After dinner, she had dashed into the bathroom and brushed her teeth.

When she came back into the living room with that thing around her head, her father looked up briefly but said nothing. Why should he. Seeing his daughter in headgear is not unusual for him anymore.

After all, Leonie wears her headgear every now and then. Not every day, and far from regularly in any way. But often enough for him to get used to the sight. And today is just another such day. Nothing more and nothing less.

Leonie sits cross-legged on the floor and studies the instructions for assembling her desk.

"Now I'm amazed. I had thought that you could assemble the thing without having to read the instructions." the father jokes.

"I can do that; I just want to let you believe that you're not totally left behind", grins Leonie and demonstratively puts the folded paper aside. The father laughingly threatens her with his index finger.



The piece of furniture is assembled halfway when the father casually starts: "May I ask you something?"

"Of course!" Leonie grins: "Do you need help with sorting? Here's a tip for you: 'Q' comes after 'P'. This tip was free, any other will cost you dinner!"

"Not exactly, no. I just wanted to know whether you have worn your headgear to school today."

He clearly surprised his daughter with the question. She lets the screwdriver sink and looks at him surprised: "Why do you ask? Is there anything wrong?"

The father shakes his head. "No, I was just curious!"

"Something has to be. We haven't talked about it for weeks!" Leonie looks uncertainly at her father. Is there a problem? She shifts restlessly. "Where did you get that idea, now of all times?"

He shrugs his shoulders carelessly: "Well, because you are wearing your headgear right now. You've done that more often in the last few days. That's probably why I noticed. I just wondered if you had it on during school. Today, on your 'first day of school'?!"

"What if I did? What then?" Her tone of voice changes, almost becoming defiant. Defiant and at the same time insecure. Defiant, because she's insecure: "What if I did not? Then what?"

He looks at his daughter in astonishment: "There is no need to be upset! Everything is fine, child. I was just curious, there are absolutely no problems! OK?"

When he starts sorting files again, Leonie picks up the screwdriver again. But she can't keep her mind on the task, makes a mistake and then has to partly disassemble her desk again. A few minutes pass while they work silently side by side.



"We had talked about it, dad!" Leonie cheeks are intensely red, and she still sounds insecure. "I thought we agreed that the headgear was my business." Her father nods in agreement.

She licks her lips nervously: "That it's my decision when and where I want to wear it. That I'm allowed to manage my own time. So... so that also applies at school! You promised me you wouldn't interfere!"

"I'm not doing that at all. Really, I'm not." He puts away the folder he is holding in his hands. He walks over to her, kneels next to Leonie and hugs her for a moment, as best he can: "You don't have to worry, our agreement stands: I don't know, what time you want to 'manage'. But from my side, you are free to decide when and where you want to wear headgear. As little or as much as you think is necessary. Satisfied?"

Leonie nods in relief. And yet the uncertainty has not completely disappeared. Her father stands up and returns to his desk.

"Why are you asking then whether I have been to school with it?", the girls wants to know.

"Cause I'm curious", is his succinct answer, "Apart from that: There is a reason why I asked: If you remember: You told me a few weeks ago in Kiel that you had decided to wear your headgear more often after we moved. And I noticed that you've indeed been wearing your facebow more over the last couple of days." He puts a folder on the shelf, clears away the empty box and takes a new folder from another box.

"But at that time, you had also told me that you were considering wearing your headgear during school from now on. And so, I just wanted to know what became of it. You have implemented the FIRST resolution. I'm just curious whether you realized the OTHER one too. No more and no less."

A few seconds pass, then Leonie answers quietly: "Yes, I have."

"There you go!" The father nods. "I'm not saying 'well done'." He notices that he has incorrectly sorted a folder and sets out to correct that. "But as I always say: »If you plan on doing something, then it is well if you can also implement it.« So, from that point of view: 'Well done!'" Then he smiles: "How was your first day in school with it?"

"Exactly as I had imagined it. Absolutely horrible and yet not at the same time. I was so nervous I almost felt nauseous. I almost removed the headgear again after a few minutes because it was too much for me."

She recounts what happened in the hallway between the art room and the cafeteria. "But then it wasn't quite so bad after all, because there were some nice people who stood by me! "

"I'm glad to hear that decent people can be found," the father nods.

Leonie sighs; much of the nervousness falls away from her. None of the problems she had feared seem to arise. Just her father asking harmless questions after all. Without any unpleasant ulterior motives. But - phew! - Her father had surprised her quite a bit with that one!

"There were enough idiots, though: One brought the stupid joke of the radio reception. And - as I said - they also compared me to a horse and wanted to lead me through school as if on a halter!"

This worries her father and Leonie has to explain to him that it didn't really come to that. That in the end it really was just a stupid joke.

"Bridle and headgear, I confess, there is a more-than-superficial resemblance" the father smiles.

"Dad! You're mean," Leonie exclaims. "Whose side are you on?"

"Do I have to say that?" he smiles.

Leonie puffs up her cheeks, gets up, struts over to her father, punches him on the arm and then plopps down on the floor again next to her construction site. "You deserved that!"

Monday Evening

Chapter 16/22 - Revelations, Part 1

Leonie gets up and stretches: She has finished building her lamp. It now finds its place next to her desk. Her father meanwhile has made progress on his side with all the sorting and shelving; a few empty moving boxes have been moved to the side. Now there is finally enough space on her side to be able to put away the stuff from school.

A few minutes later her own working space is ready! There wasn't much to do anyway. Then she leans against her own desk, strikes exactly the same pose as her father and grins: "So what do you say now? Doesn't look too shabby after all."

He looks around and then nods. But he has to suppress a grin, because the situation is not without a certain absurdity: Moving the 'normal' living room furniture - table, sofa and TV rack - into a corner of the room is strange enough. But it's the rest of the room that makes him smile:

On the left his own desk, with a folder-filled high shelf behind it. Multiple computer-monitors on the desk. To the right is his daughter's desk, who is clearly trying to emulate him and set up her workplace as 'professionally' as possible. She also has a shelf behind her.

And yet there are a few significant differences: Instead of a plethora of technical books and overflowing folders, there are just a few schoolbooks, an English dictionary and an atlas on the shelf. Her school backpack is where his powerful PC-tower is located. Instead of an expensive 'executive chair' there is still a children's swivel chair, with which she simply cannot part. Leonie's pencil-case lies in the corner of her desk, where his additional notebook stands. Instead of ledgers marked 'Confidential', there' a Maths book and a fountain pen lying on her desk.

And last but not least: Leonie is leaning against her table in the very same pose as her father. One leg slightly bent, arms folded in front of the chest, head slightly cocked. He, the six-foot-tall, middle-aged, meanwhile graying man, and she, the somewhat stocky girl with the headgear.

All of that taken together is both funny to look at and incredibly cute at the same time.



"Well then, you can do your homework now!"

She looks at her father as if he had gone mad: "You don't believe that yourself. I'm certainly not going to do homework anymore today. Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Time for little girls to go to bed?" The father smiles.

"Whatever you say, old man", is Leonie's answer.

"I've already told you a couple of times: With the facebow in, you look like twelve!" He points nonchalantly to Leonie's headgear.

She rolls her eyes, sticks out her tongue and grins broadly.



The last piece of furniture has yet to be assembled. The box from a well-known Swedish furniture store is opened and the assembly of the bedside table begins. After all, she needs a place to put her smartphone - and her headgear - at night.

Her father has just finished sorting the files and starts folding up the moving boxes. "Oh yes, by the way, I nearly forgot: A letter has come for you."

Leonie looks up in surprise. "For me? Are you sure? Who should write to me? Nobody knows that we live here." Then something occurs to her: "Is it from school?"

The father shakes his head. "The letter was actually sent to our old address in Kiel. And then forwarded to here. It arrived earlier today. It may not actually be addressed to you; let's say, it's about you."

"Now don't make it so exciting: What's going on? Is there any trouble?" This morning she had explained to her friends that the constant moving is not in the interest of the Youth Welfare Office. She shouldn't have jinxed it! Maybe those people are actually causing trouble now?

However, this is not the case, as the father immediately makes clear: "No, nothing has happened since the last conversation. And that was more than a year ago. You were there: the person in charge had actually sounded quite reasonable. And now you're of age, so things relaxed even more. No, we probably won't have to expect any more problems from that front."

"OK. What then?"

He points to an envelope that has been lying on the side of his desk the whole time. "The health insurance has gotten in touch. They want to know how your treatment is progressing."

A simple statement. And yet surprising enough that the screwdriver falls out of Leonie's hand. "Oh. And... uh... what... uhh... what did you say?"

"»Say«? Nothing; after all, it wasn't a phone call, but a letter." The father looks at his daughter in surprise. "They just want to know whether you are still interested in continuing your treatment. After all, your last visit to the orthodontist was six months ago!"

He looks at his daughter: "Did you know that it was so long ago? That actually surprised me. I knew that you had never been to the orthodontist in Kiel, but that it apparently is half a year now, I didn't quite realize."

Leonie just shrugs her shoulders. Her cheeks have turned quite red again. "Yes, we went to the orthodontist in Kiel. Once. Because Dr. Reinhard was a stupid ass, don't you remember?"

"Ahh, right, I remember vaguely. Yes, the doctor hadn't impressed me too much either, if I think about it."

"He was an arrogant prick!" Leonie sounds annoyed by the sheer memory of this doctor.



The father lets the letter wander through his hands, "But the health insurance is right, Leonie! We should really think about how your treatment will continue. We can't let it drag on forever."

"I know." Leonie shakes her head; the screwdriver lies unnoticed on the floor. She nervously shifts her weight.

"What do you think? Should we find an orthodontist for you, or do you want to quit?"

"I want to go on!"

"But?"

Leonie shrugs her shoulders: "No buts. I do want to go on. I want straight teeth."

"You don't sound very enthusiastic now, child"

"Do you expect me to jump around the room like a rubber ball?" Leonie sounds aggressive and defensive at the same time. She returns the question to him: "What do YOU think I should do?"

He takes some time to answer, "You started treatment a year ago - maybe a little more: One-and-a-half years ago maybe? And nothing has happened in the last six months. To be honest, I don't really know what to think about it: You have already invested a certain effort in your treatment. In my opinion, it would be a shame to stop now. On the other hand, there must be a reason for not seeing a doctor for six months. We shouldn't ignore that either."

"Yes, because you haven't made an appointment for me!" But Leonie's attempt to shift the blame on to her father fails.

"Certainly not like this, Leonie! Forget about that!" He shakes his head. However, his annoyance has already faded again: "Maybe I really didn't set up an appointment. But you didn't remind me either, am I right?"

Leonie shrugs her shoulders, her cheeks are red and she is not looking directly at her father. She fishes for the assembly instructions of the bedside cabinet and begins to systematically fold all the corners. Not to remember at which assembly step she had stopped. No, she simply needs something to keep her hands busy.

"Can you tell me why we didn't make a second appointment in Kiel - with another doctor?" He uses the word 'we' on purpose. He does not intend to make his daughter the guilty party, but neither does he want to see himself as the main culprit.

Even now Leonie does not answer. The corners of the assembly instructions, already folded once, are now folded over.

Her father is surprised by the lack of response: "Maybe that's more important than I thought so far, what do you think, child? That can very well be the crux of the matter. If you no longer want to go to the orthodontist, it doesn't make sense for me to set a new appointment for you. Are you of the same opinion? "

Leonie vigorously shakes her head: "There is no problem. I want to continue. I already said so: I want straight teeth."

"But there must have been a reason that you didn't want to go to the orthodontist. And I don't think it was just because Dr. Reinhard was a nasty piece of work. Explain it to me, Leonie. I would like to know. I would like to understand."

Instead of an answer, Leonie stands up, her head has turned very red. "I... I have to go to the bathroom!"



A few minutes pass, significantly more time than it normally takes Leonie to go to the toilet. Her father can hear her sneaking back into her room. When she finally comes back to the living room, she is no longer wearing her headgear.

Silently, she sits back down on the floor to her half-built bedside cabinet. She does not look at her father. Everything else is much more important. Even the dust under the sofa gets more attention from Leonie than her father.

A few seconds pass, then a few more. Seconds turn into minutes. At some point, her father stops waiting for an answer and goes back to organizing his workspace while Leonie absentmindedly plays with a screwdriver.

Finally, she stands back up, "Dad, I'm in my room, OK?"

"Very well," the father glances after his daughter as she leaves the living room, the bedside table only rudimentarily set up.

Leonie doesn't show her face again until the father calls for dinner. After 'lunch' had been pushed back until late afternoon, dinner turns out to be much simpler. After all, not much time has passed, and neither Leonie nor her father are very hungry.

Another difference is that the meal is now consumed in a much more subdued mood. Almost like a chore. The father asks Leonie about school, but she answers only monosyllabically. Seemingly lost in thought, her father sometimes has to repeat questions until Leonie hears him.