Chapter 41/56 - Preliminary treatment plan

A short time later, the preliminary examination is completed and Leonie is allowed to sit on the edge of the treatment chair again. A minute or two passes during which Dr. Klein writes down her thoughts.

Then she turns to Leonie. "What do you think of your current tooth position? Where do you see the biggest problems? What exactly bothers you most?"

"Um... Well... My teeth are crooked?!" Leonie is completely overwhelmed and has no idea what to say or what the doctor wants to hear from her.

Of course, it's clear what Leonie would like to say the most: »My teeth are so crooked that I absolutely have to wear headgear...« But of course it's also clear that she won't say that. That she CAN'T say that.

Instead, she shrugs: "I honestly don't know what to say. My teeth aren't as straight as they could be." But then she realizes that she might have to say a bit more than just »My teeth are crooked«:

"I know I've started much later than my classmates, but somehow it's still just a 'normal' treatment for me. Like everyone else in my class had."

Dr. Klein understands: "And your classmates didn't give it much thought back then either. They just knew that they would be getting braces and that their teeth would be straightened. And that was enough of a reason at the time, am I right?"

Leonie nods. "Exactly. I know that I need braces. Even without having thought about the why-and-how." Then she grins awkwardly. "On the other hand, I'm a lot older now than I was then. So - you want to say - I should think about it?"

"Then we would at least know where to start," the doctor nods. "If you can tell me where you see the biggest problems, that would be a clue for me."

Leonie thinks for a moment: "What bothers me most is that my front teeth are so crooked and the gap between the upper and lower teeth. Do you know what I mean?" She bares her teeth and points with her index finger to the area between the upper and lower incisors, where indeed there is a gap.

Dr. Klein takes notes of her patient's assessment. Then she says: "It's understandable that you're worried, because that's definitely the first thing you notice in a mirror."

Leonie nods. Very cautiously optimistic. Has Dr. Klein just said that the gap needs to be treated? Isn't such a gap usually treated with headgear? Didn't Dr. Krämer give her headgear because of this very gap? Could it be... Her gaze darts over to her father, but he has put on a neutral expression. Leonie can't read on his face what he's thinking.

"It will probably put your mind at ease if I tell you that I see no problem in closing this gap, am I right?", Dr. Klein put on a winning smile.

Leonie presses her lips together. She automatically nods. Damn. She would like to sigh loudly. She had feared that answer. No need for headgear after all?!

"The problem with your 'open bite', as this misalignment is called, isn't as dramatic as it first appears. Perhaps you've noticed that your upper jaw is a little narrower than your lower jaw? If you run your fingers along the outside of your teeth: the lower jaw feels a little bit 'wider', am I right?"

Leonie nods.

"The teeth in the upper jaw lack some space laterally - across - and that's why they migrated forward instead and are now creating this gap," explains Dr. Klein. Somewhere she has conjured up a model of a standard set of teeth - with braces glued on - and is now showing Leonie what she means. "But if we widen your upper jaw a bit, your teeth will have enough space and the gap will disappear by itself."

Leonie nods again. Because she understands what the doctor explains. Not because she likes it. Instead, she would like to cry right now. Well, it's not quite that bad. Nevertheless: Leonie is not happy at all. Apparently, it's already clear that she won't need headgear again.

If she remembers correctly, Dr. Krämer had given her headgear precisely because of this gap. And if this doctor now is of the opinion that she can do this without extraoral anchoring, she will certainly not give her patient a headgear. Damn.

"And it can be done that easily? I mean: Widening the upper jaw? That sounds kind of... uncomfortable!"



As depressed as Leonie is right now, she is also a little relieved: Relieved that the appointment with Dr. Klein came so quickly. Because that means she was only entertaining hopes for a few hours that she might get headgear again. Had she been looking forward to an appointment for weeks and then had to hear that her dream would not come true, she would certainly have been much more disappointed.

All right then. Headgear prescribed by the orthodontist is a no-deal? Pity! Damn shame! But at least she still has her 'own' to wear and...



"Leonie? Did you hear?" A touch on her knee makes the girl flinch.

"What?" Leonie stares at her father. She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear the doctor's comment. So lost in thought, that her father had to nudge her to get her attention. Awkward! "Sorry, I was thinking. Please, what did you say, Dr. Klein?"

"I said you don't have to worry about that widening of the jaw causing problems." Again, the doctor misinterprets her patient's silence: "But apparently you ARE worried?"

Leonie is relieved: she has a suitable excuse for her absent-mindedness. And the best thing about it: It's not even an excuse, it's the truth: The full truth and nothing but the truth: "Are you sure that this will work without any problems? I really don't mean to be rude. It's just that a classmate - from Kiel - also had a narrow jaw and she had needed a... what's that called again? ...something-or-other expansion?"

"Palatal expansion?" the doctor suggests.

Leonie nods: "Exactly that. I'm hearing for the first time that I might need this as well. But my friend suffered quite a bit from it, so I'm not particularly keen on it." She quickly corrects herself: "I mean, if it's necessary, I'll do it, of course, but..."

Dr. Klein shakes his head. "You don't have to worry about that. That's exactly what I meant: You probably won't need something like that."

"Oh... OK," Leonie blinks.

The doctor raises her hands to underscore her next statement. "I have to emphasize again that this is only a preliminary examination and that I cannot make a definitive call without complete documentation..."

Leonie nods.

"But the way I see it, you're lucky in that respect. The frontal crowding is there, no doubt. But not particularly bad. Your friend's problem must have been much more pronounced than yours."

"That's possible." Leonie has to admit.

"I think we can solve your problem by - figuratively speaking - just bending the wire of your upper brace a little 'wider'. The teeth will then automatically follow this over the months. I think that's all it takes with you."

Leonie nods again. A little relieved this time. From what she had heard from her former classmate, such a palatal expansion must be quite uncomfortable. And to be honest, Leonie is glad that she is spared that.

Headgear? Yes, please! Palatal expansion? No thank you!



"Dr. Klein, can you tell me what my treatment would be like?" Leonie has to correct herself: "I know, you can't say anything specific. But could you give me some pointers?"

Apparently, the doctor has already put together a treatment plan - at least a rough one - even without complete documents. "I would say that you have to wear braces for another two, maybe two and a half years."

Leonie raises her eyebrows: "That long? I didn't think it would take so long..."

"Do you see a problem with that?", Dr. Klein looks up from her papers.

"No, no, no problem," Leonie shakes her head. "Just: What you said earlier: »Bending the wire a little wider« and all that: That didn't sound like two and a half years to me!"

"Would you have a problem, child?", her father breaks his silence.

His daughter looks at him as if he has lost his mind. One can clearly read on her face: »You know very well, Dad, that I have no problem with that.« However, she says aloud: "No, I certainly haven't! I was just surprised."

Her father seems to have interpreted the expression correctly, because he smiles slightly.

"It doesn't take the full two years to eliminate the gap between the front teeth. We probably manage to do that in nine months or thereabout. Maybe a year. After that I'll use elastics that you have to stretch between the upper and lower jaw." From somewhere she conjures up a bag of elastics and uses the model to demonstrate what she means. "You need this to align the other teeth with each other."

"In the end my goal of course is that you are able to bite down in a way so that your teeth fit together. They're doing that pretty well now. But if I widen your upper jaw, I'll throw your teeth out of the order they've been in for years. I then have to correct that - with the elastics. And that's what will take up most of your treatment."

She then adds almost apologetically: "I can understand that you probably won't like that part. The 'big changes' are relatively quick, but we need quite a long time for the subtle movements." She smiles lightly. "Most patients dislike that phase. They have to wear braces with seemingly nothing happening anymore."

The father objects - also with a subtle smile on his lips: "I don't think you have to fear problems with Leonie. She's a sensible girl. Am I right?"

Leonie nods with red cheeks. It's pretty embarrassing that her is father talking about her like that.



At the same time, however, she feels the beginnings of a tingling in the stomach area: The girl in Kiel - the one with the palatal expansion - also had had to use elastics. And Leonie had liked the sight of that. She had always thought that she could 'get used to' having to use such elastics.

Maybe that was even one of the starting points for her braces fetish? A pretty girl with silver glittering braces and a mouthful of X-shaped crossed elastics? Yes, the girl looked really damn cute with her braces! Maybe that's why Leonie got more and more fond of her own braces over time?

If that's really the case, then surely such elastics are an interesting addition? All right then. Official headgear will probably be a dud. But at least such elastics? At least something. And as noted before: She still has her own headgear to play with!



"And... and that's all then? Braces and elastics? You don't need any other devices or anything?" Leonie does not dare to be more explicit. Even now she's blushing and scared that she's somehow revealed her secret.

"What exactly do you mean?" asks Dr. Klein. "You probably don't need a palatal expansion. At the end of your treatment, I will put a bonded retainer on your lower jaw." She shows Leonie the model, where a thin wire is actually bonded to the front teeth on the lower jaw. "And I would give you a transparent retainer for your upper jaw, which you then have to wear for a few months".

Leonie nods: All right. That answers all of her question. Not in the way she wished, but at least she knows where she is now. Headgear is and will always be something that only the first orthodontist saw a need for. She must now finally come to terms with the fact that not all other doctors, but that the first doctor was deviating with his treatment strategy.

But Leonie is lucky that she at least still has the facebow from him to live out her fetish! Not prescribed by the doctor, but she still has it. At least something.

Why am I getting a feeling that this new ortho will (a) remove her existing brackets; (b) fit new brackets, including molar brackets (or possibly molar bands) but without headgear tubes in?

That was an option I considered. But I decided against it. Sorry!?

Chapter 43/56 - an all-important question

She shakes her head. "No, you've answere..." Then she nods: "Yes! Yes! There... there is one more question."

A question she doesn't really want to ask. After all, much depends on the answer to this question. Very much. So much in fact that she would have preferred the question to remain unanswered.

She can't avoid glancing over to her father. And he nods slightly. »Damn. Dad knows exactly what question I am about to ask.«

And that means that this question would have been answered today in any case. Leonie realizes, that if she hadn't asked the question herself, her father would have in her stead. Under this condition, it is better if she - on her own accord - approaches the doctor:

"The fact that I haven't been to the orthodontist for half a year... did that do any damage?" She licks her lips nervously, "Um, can you see if my teeth have shifted or if the misalignment became worse?"

After all, she had agreed with her father that she could continue to wear her headgear as long as the alignment of her teeth does not get worse as a result of her 'shenanigans'. In other words, if her teeth have shifted over the course of the last half year despite her wearing braces, Leonie has to stop wearing her headgear.

But then the largest part of what constitutes her fetish would be gone. And so, she's afraid of that answer. She licks her dry lips nervously.

Even though her father tries to be as lenient as possible with Leonie's braces obsession, he made it clear that for him there are limits. And he draws this line there when her 'shenanigans' get in the way of her actual treatment.

"I wouldn't worry about that if I were you," replies Dr. Klein reassuringly. "Of course you haven't made any progress in those six months. But the braces - figuratively speaking - kept your teeth in place. It is therefore practically impossible for your teeth to have shifted."

Leonie nods mechanically. That's the only answer the doctor can give. And that answer is inevitably flawed, because Dr. Klein is not in possession of all the material facts. But of course Leonie can't say: »Suppose I'd worn headgear from time to time during this interval... Just for fun... Can you see whether that had a negative impact?«



"You are not satisfied with my answer?" asks Dr. Klein surprised.

Leonie turns deep red. "Yes, yes, I am. Of course I am. That... that's what I thought too, I just wanted to be sure. You understand?"

"Have you noticed any signs that your teeth have shifted?" the orthodontist begins to take notes.

Quickly - with an almost panicked look at her father, Leonie replies: "No, no, not at all. I do NOT think that anything has changed!"

"Could something like that happen?" Her father joins the conversation. "Should I have paid more attention to taking Leonie to an orthodontist in Kiel?"

The doctor shakes her head. "I wouldn't worry about that if I were you. Certainly: a six-month break isn't ideal, but it didn't cause any damage either. Actually, noticeable shifting shouldn't occur anymore." She plays with the pen in her hand. "You're past the end of your growth phase, Leonie. The position of your teeth should be stable. Especially with the braces you're wearing."

"Minimal tooth movements are normal and nothing to worry about. Larger tooth movements can also occur, but then over a long period of time. That's why some adults decide to wear braces again even though they had them as children. That's also the reason why later you would get retainers from me. But as I said, such movements take place slowly - over the course of years. But if you've noticed 'major' shifting over the past few MONTHS, I think that hints at serious problems."

"For example?" Leonie asks. And thinks: »For example, if someone wears headgear without telling the doctor?«

Dr. Klein continues - a little uncertainly: "There are several possibilities. I don't want to beat around the bush: If teeth suddenly start to shift in adults, this can indicate changes in your bones, due to a tumor." She pauses briefly: "So basically a form of cancer. Mostly bone cancer." The doctor looks at her patient nervously: "I understand that you HAVE noticed a change, Leonie? If so, then we absolutely have to check it!" She makes a few notes in a particularly large handwriting.

Leonie shakes her head frantically: "No, no, Dr. Klein! You misunderstood me. I didn't notice ANYTHING. I DON'T think my teeth moved. Really not! I just wanted to know if... whether the half-year break did any harm."

"You know, Dr. Reinhard was a stupid git. There's no other word for it. After the discussion with him, I was happy not to see another orthodontist for a while. But that's over now, I WANT to continue, I WANT straight teeth. And I really would have to kick myself if by now I'd have ruined the progress by not going to the orthodontist sooner." Leonie thinks feverishly: "For example, if... if the orthodontist BEFORE Dr. Reinhard had made changes to my braces that might harm me if left alone for half a year. Or something like that. Do you understand me now?"

"Oh I see..." Dr. Klein looks very relieved and crosses out her last notes. "If that's the case: No, six months have certainly not harmed you. You haven't made any progress, but that's all. You don't have to worry about THAT."

"Honestly, that would have surprised me as well. During my examination just now, I didn't notice any changes in your teeth-alignment. I didn't see anything, that made me think that your teeth stood any differently than I would have expected. They do not yet follow the ideal shape, but upper and lower teeth interlock nicely. And they wouldn't have done so if your teeth shifted in the last months. Apart from the fact that we still have some work to do, to me your current status doesn't look all that bad. And certainly, I didn't see anything that would lead me to believe that your braces are 'configured' incorrectly. Does that answer your question?"

"It does, thanks doctor", Leonie grins and looks over at her father. But he either doesn't see it or prefers to ignore his daughter's gaze.

Dr. Klein makes a new note: "But I admit that you spooked me a little bit. Just to be absolutely sure, I'll take a closer look at the x-ray tomorrow. Just to rule out that maybe there is an unpleasant surprise hidden somewhere."

"I don't share your concern, but I thank you nevertheless," Leonie's father says.



A few minutes later they are back on the street. Now that the sun has disappeared behind the horizon some time ago, the cold is even harder to bear. They make their way back to the car.

"So, child? What do you think of Dr. Klein? Would you be willing to continue going there?"

"Sure! Why not?!"

"And you have no problem letting her treat you?"

Leonie stops and looks at her father thoughtfully: "Why are you asking? Why should I mind?"

"I don't think you will have a problem. I just want to make sure."

"You don't have to, I really don't mind going to Dr. Klein."

"Even if your treatment will last another two years?"

Leonie sighs: "Dad! You know very well that... that I have no problem with that." And much quieter: "Quite the opposite!" Even though it's now clear to both of them that Leonie's behavior towards braces is largely fetish-based, it's still not easy to talk about it. Accordingly, the girl turns red again.

They walk slowly and carefully. Although the streets have been gritted, it is beginning to get icy-slippery. Neither of them wants to fall and break a bone.

"Besides, dad, it's going to take that time, no matter which orthodontist I go to. It's not just Dr. Klein. And I want straight teeth, so there's nothing else I can do."

The father nods. "I just wanted to hear that in your own words." He smiles thinly, "I promise you that's the last time I ask you that, OK?"

"You can ask me as many times as you want as long as I get my treatment," laughs Leonie.



"I have the impression that you are not completely happy?" is little more than a rhetorical question.

"Yes, I am. Well... 95% happy."

"And the remaining 5%?"

Leonie shrugs: "You probably noticed that I tried to steer Dr. Klein towards headgear a bit?"

The father nods. "I noticed that. But - before you ask - Dr. Klein certainly didn't notice."

"I didn't want to be more explicit. Especially since it wouldn't have helped anyway, as you heard."

"Nevertheless, it was good that you didn't bring it up directly."

Leonie shakes her head a bit appalled: "I would never have done that! I'm not THAT thick!"

Either her father is good at reading her mind or Leonie's face reveals it very clearly: "You still have the facebow that Dr. Krämer gave you back then."

Leonie nods. Hopeful yet nervous, she asks, "Does that mean I am still allowed to wear it?"

Instead of a direct answer, her father smiles: "Dr. Klein couldn't tell that your teeth shifted massively from what one would expect after half a year of doing nothing, right?"

The relieved grin is written on his daughter's face.

"Why do I have the feeling that you're about to take full advantage of this?" he asks dryly.

She grins broadly at him. Very broadly.

Friday Morning

Chapter 44/56 - Fifth day of school

"If you take a thermos with tea to school?" asks Leonie, when Jessica can't shut her mouth from all the yawning.

"Sounds like a good idea. There's just one problem!" Jessica finally replies.

"You don't have a thermos?"

"I hate tea!"

"I can't understand that." Leonie blinks. "But oh well: Coffee then!"

"I don't like that either! I generally don't like hot drinks."

Leonie blinks several times. "Would you like to repeat that?"

"I don't like coffee! And I don't like tea either."

Leonie blinks again. "What was that? I didn't quite understand you."

Jessica shrugs.

Leonie is still blinking.

"What?" Jessica is becoming slightly indignant.

Leonie keeps blinking. "I'm... scared of you!"

"What's broken?" Karina and Susanne have just arrived and join them. Nadine is not far away either.

Leonie points to Jessica with an outstretched arm: "I'm afraid of her, she suddenly speaks in a foreign tongue!"

"I just said I don't drink neither coffee or tea!" Jessica defends herself.

"There, again! She's started babbling again!" Leonie starts blinking excitedly.

"If you don't stop it right away, I'll hit you," threatens Jessica.

Leonie's eyes widen: "You are so aggressive today." And blinks one last time.

"That's because she's not awake yet," says Susanne.

"You should do something about that, Jessica", that was Nadine.

"Like drinking coffee!" Karina grins broadly. "Or tea!"

Jessica throws her arms in the sky while Leonie, Nadine, Karina and Susanne high-five each other. "What did I do to deserve this? What did I do to you that I'm being punished like that?!"



The mood doesn't stay this jolly for long, however. Because Geography starts today's school day. And with a teacher who is as boring as Mr. Gründgen... you simply just can't be jolly. Instead, you catch up on half an hour of sleep.

At least Jessica is on the verge of dozing off several times. Only the fact that Leonie nudges her under the table with the tip of her foot keeps her neighbor from hitting her forehead on the table.

After the second lesson, at the beginning of the first recess, Jessica - like every day - has recovered and is her normal 'awake' self again. "I just need a little bit to wake up in the morning!"

"Is it normal that Jessy is always so tired?" Leonie asks Karina during recess when Jessica is not around.

She nods. "It's always been like that. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried. It just makes me wonder. If I were her, I'd just go to bed a bit earlier. She shouldn't sit in front of the telly quite so much or whatnot!"

Further thoughts on Jessica's late-night pastime are made impossible by the fact that the girl is back within earshot.



"So? Is your life in shambles now?" Jessica asks.

"What life? Shambles? What are you talking about?" Leonie doesn't understand.

She's busy replying to her father's text message. He wrote her - as a reminder - that she has an appointment with Dr. Klein later today. Leonie types »How could I ever forget? L.«

"Well, your treatment. You saw Dr. Klein yesterday, didn't you?"

"Oh yes, yes, I did." Leonie nods absentmindendly.

"So? Don't make me drag every single word out of you!"

"What do you care what happens to my treatment, anyway?" Leonie doesn't sound nearly as accusatory as the words she formulated. Secretly, she's dying to tell her friends about it. She just doesn't want to make it too obvious.

Jessica shrugs and turns away demonstratively. "Then not. I thought I'd just be polite and make a little small talk... but if you don't want to... your choice."

"Now don't be all huffy!"

Jessica crosses her arms over her chest. "No, now I don't care anymore!"

"Oh, don't be like that!"

Karina and Susanne watch the 'quarrel' with wide eyes. "Like an old couple!"

"Not at all," Jessica and Leonie snap with one voice. Then both grin.



Her cell phone is beeping again. Another message from her father: Just a comment this time »I just wanted to make sure! I'll be waiting for you after school. Dad«

Unfortunately, this harmless comment has had quite a negative impact. Because Leonie is so busy writing an answer that she doesn't even notice what she's saying:

"So, how did it go? What did Dr. Klein say? Are you happy with the results?", asks Jessica again.

"No," Leonie - typing an answer - shakes her head absent-mindedly, "the consultation sadly didn't go as I had hoped. Dr. Klein said that headgear doesn't make sense for me and..."

Her mouth closes so quickly that the clacking of her teeth can be heard several feet away. In a very short time, her head turns bright red and she feels hot and cold chills running down her spine.

»Shit! Shit! Shit! SHIT!« Her brain goes into an endless loop: »Damn shit, now I screwed up!«

She was so entranced in writing a snarky comment back to her father, that she hadn't thought about what she was saying. Instead, she had simply answered her friends' question.

Truthfully.

The ONE question that must NEVER be answered truthfully!

Chapter 45a/56 - White Lies, Part 2

"So you've got rid of your headgear now, if I understand you correctly?" Susanne asks when the group is on its way to the chemistry room during the second recess. "Should we congratulate?"

"No... no, I'm not... I still have to wear that thing. What makes you think I got rid of it?" Leonie knows exactly where Susanne got this idea from. Even if she had hoped that her friends might have forgotten - or not even heard - that one damn sentence.

"You said that before, didn't you? You said you don't have to wear your headgear anymore, right?" begins Susan.

"No, I haven't," Leonie shakes her head.

"That's how I understood it as well!" Nadine can be heard. Karina and Jessica nod in confirmation. "You said yesterday that you hoped that Dr. Klein would free you from it. And now Dr. Klein said that you don't need headgear..."

"You got that wrong!" Leonie shakes her head. Luckily, she now had had some time to come up with a suitable excuse. And - to her immense relief - she also believes that she has found something plausible. Maybe not the best explanation in the world. But it has to be enough. And it definitely is better than no explanation at all.

Leonie laughs and hopes that nobody will notice how artificial this laugh sounds. "Let me remind you what I said: »the consultation sadly didn't go as I had hoped!« Does that sound to you like I don't need to wear headgear anymore? I think if I had gotten rid of the darn thing, I would have phrased the sentence VERY differently."

Susanne has to admit that her acquaintance certainly has a point.

Jessica frowns: "Did I then imagine that you said something like »Headgear doesn't make sense«. I understood that to mean that you no longer need the thing." The other girls nod in agreement.

Leonie curses Jessica's memory. "Like I said, you misunderstood." She shrugs: "Although I have to admit that I phrased it pretty stupidly." She pretends to think about her words again: "Yes, I admit: you really COULD understand it that way." A contrite grin: "Okay, my fault, I phrased it wrong."

"And what did you want to say then?"

"I still need my headgear. Unfortunately, Dr. Klein is of the same opinion as Dr. Reinhard: There is no way around my stupid facebow." Then Leonie shrugs: "No, it's a lot less exciting than that."

She remembers her words: "I think I said: »... that headgear doesn't make sense for me« Or at least something like that?" She looks questioningly at her friends, who slowly nod.

"What I should have said is: »... that headgear ALONE doesn't make sense for me...« ONE word difference."

Her friends' eyes widen: "HEADGEAR isn't enough? Really now? What's next?"

And Karina flippantly adds: "Do we have to worry that you'll show up at school with two of those metal bows next week? Like a duckbill?" she giggles.

Leonie shakes her head: "Certainly not. Really Karina, what ideas you sometimes have."

"Is that possible at all? Two of those things?" Jessica's eyes widen.

Leonie shrugs: "Why are you asking ME? Just because I have to wear such a device doesn't mean that I'm an expert at it. I'm the patient, Jessica, not the doctor."

"True," she has to admit.

"I've never heard of two headgears," Susanne says quietly.

"Wouldn't that have been for you, Susi?" Karina teases. "Double headgear, double the attention you're getting?"

The addressed shakes her head: "If Dr. Klein had brought out a second headgear, I would have gotten up and left. And NEVER gone back!"

"But if you had NEVER returned, then you would still have your braces today. And could you keep Leonie company. You two... OUCH, Jessy, what are you doing?"

Jessica had pinched her friend's shoulder - not very gently. "Don't you even notice anymore what rubbish you're spouting? I'm sorry, you two." The last statement was addressed to Leonie and Susanne.

Karina is offended for a moment. But that never lasts long.

"I have no idea whether two headgears would even be possible," Leonie picks up the thread again. She has to fight the urge to lick her lips: »TWO headgears?! That's... oh my gosh, that would be so...«

She forces her thoughts back into reality. "But that doesn't matter. The truth is much more boring than double headgear!" She shrugs her shoulders in a cool manner: "Yes, there's something else for me in store. The headgear alone is not enough. And that's a bit stupid."

The girls around her nod. With the exception of Karina, who - exaggeratedly - rubs her shoulder.

Leonie continues: "But luckily, this addition isn't overly bad. A little annoying at most: Because Dr. Klein said that I'll probably have to use... uhhh, what do you call them again... those rubber-thingies... elastics! That's the word! And I simply do not feel like using them. Because ... Haha, kids, very funny!"

again, this joke is easier to handle in German because 'rubber' and 'elastic' use the same Word: 'Gummi'

At the word 'rubber' the surrounding girls grimace and grin suggestively.

"Well, 'rubbers' are always good!" Karina finds, giggling. As said: She never is offended for long.

"I said »elastics«! That was an honest mistake!", exclaims Leonie.

Jessica however adds with a grin: "Even if you don't feel like it, I would strongly advise: Always use 'rubbers'!"

"Any more of that and I'll introduce you to Mr. Fist!" Leonie threatens, raising her fist in a playful manner. To be on the safe side, Karina runs a few steps ahead, still giggling.

However, Leonie is secretly grateful for this accidental joke, because it distracts the others, and they forget to ask for further details.

Phew! Lucky. She sends three quick prayers to the heavens. »My goodness, that was close! That could have gone so very wrong. I wasn't paying attention for ONCE! I REALLY have to watch what I say. EVERY... SINGLE... WORD! That must NEVER happen again!«




"We thought about hitting the town after school. To show you around a bit? Are you coming with us, Leonie?" Jessica's voice sounds hopeful.

"Oh damn, too bad." Leonie shakes her head sadly. "We should have done that in the two free periods. I can't make it after school!"

"No time?" Jessica asks disappointed.

"Unfortunately, no. I would really love to go with you. I don't know Obereisenbach at all. You could have shown me around. But I have to see Dr. Klein right after school. Dad is picking me up right after school again today. "

"Why do you have to see Dr. Klein again today? You were there only yesterday!"

"That's true, but yesterday I was only there for a quick examination. And so that she could write this confirmation for us. I have to go back today because she still needs records from me. X-rays and whatnot. She needs that because otherwise she couldn't complete her treatment plan. And as long as she does not have that, I'm not really being treated by her. So, I don't want it to take too long."

"But she has already told you that you still have to wear your headgear? Without a treatment plan?"

Leonie sighs theatrically: "Apparently it's so obvious that she doesn't even need x-rays for that..."

"It can't be that obvious, otherwise all your doctors would have prescribed you headgear too! But you said that you didn't always have to wear it."

"I have absolutely NO idea," Leonie shrugs her shoulders several times. "I really don't know! Dr. Klein made it very clear to me why I still need it. And to me, that made a lot of sense." She laughs: "I said it before: I'm the patient; she's the doctor. SHE has to know what she's talking about, not me. But, as I said, it had made sense to me. And as for the other doctors: maybe they don't use headgear at all? Then they can't prescribe it..." she then speculates.

"But doesn't that mean that the other doctors can solve the same problems without headgear that Dr. Klein needs a headgear for?"

Leonie shrugs again. "Possibly. As I said, I can't judge. I have to rely on what the doctors tell me. And now that Dr. Reinhard and Dr. Klein both demand that I wear my facebow again, I just believe them."

Secretly Leonie sighs. It almost hurts, having to lie that much. Because she's just explaining to her friends why she has to wear headgear. A device that her doctor doesn't prescribe to her because she actually doesn't need it. But she desperately wants one. That's so weird!

"But if I were you, I would ask Dr. Klein what would happen if you didn't wear your headgear. Whether you absolutely need it and what the result would be like if you left it off," Susanne begins. "And if there's not much difference... well, you know my opinion," she cuts off as a larger group of classmates appear within earshot.

"I'll definitely do that," Leonie nods and decides to never ask that very question under any circumstances.



Just as the gong announces the end of the second recess, Leonie thinks of something. "Oh drat..." she then curses.

"What's going on?" Jessica asks, amazed - and a little worried.

"Oh, nothing important," Leonie dismisses. "I just totally forgot that I wanted to pick up my school ID. It should've been ready by now."

"Now it's too late, recess is over," Jessica shakes her head. "You have to do that after the sixth period. But then you have to hurry, because the secretary's office closes at 1 p.m."

"I won't be able to do that anymore today, my father will pick me up right after school. I'll have to postpone that until Monday..." Then she shrugs her shoulders. "Well, it doesn't really matter. At least as long as I don't put it off for weeks."

Chapter 47/56 - In the waiting room

"Hello", Leonie enters the practice, which is both familiar and yet unfamiliar at the same time. The furniture, the plants, the room layout, all of this is already familiar from her visit yesterday. All the people that now populate the practice - however - are new.

Two assistants are sitting at the registration desk, one of them is talking to a boy who has entered the practice just before Leonie. There are five or six patients in the waiting room. A young boy is brushing his teeth in the tooth-brushing corner. A third assistant stands bent over a treatment chair on which a patient is lying. Boob-size-wise that must be an adult. With lots of silicone! So much silicone that probably her lips are pumped up as well. Pumped-up lips behind which now braces are hiding.

"Hello, what can I do for you?", the boy makes his way to the waiting room and the receptionist turns to Leonie.

"Hello. I'm Leonie... Leonie Waldmann..." She smiles awkwardly: "I don't know if I have an appointment?"

That surprises the two ladies behind the counter. "You do not know that?" The calendar is consulted and no entry for 'Leonie Waldmann' is found. "What makes you think you have an appointment with us today?"

The other receptionist looks skeptically at Leonie. "I cannot remember you at all. Were you here before?"

Leonie notices that this woman has a rather large, colorful and realistic tattoo of a rose on her lower arm. "I'm here for the first time. Well... no: I went to see Dr. Klein yesterday afternoon. And she said I should come back today for impressions and stuff."

"Yesterday afternoon? We don't even have consultation hours at that time," the assistant is confused. "Happens from time to time", replies the second.

"It was quite urgent because the insurance company was waiting for an answer. That's why my father had... well, never mind - We were definitely here yesterday afternoon and Dr. Klein had received us. Outside of consultation hours as it seems. And she said that I should return today for impressions and x-rays and stuff."

"OK!?" the two ladies are surprised, probably hearing about this for the first time "We don't usually do impressions in the afternoons... are you sure you should come in NOW?"

Leonie's smile breaks down a bit: "Well, yes. Dr. Klein told me to come right after school... am I already too late?"

There comes the savior in the form of the doctor. She has just come out of a treatment room and is about to disappear into another when she glances towards the registration-desk. "Oh hello..."

The doctor then confirms Leonie's story. The assistants are not particularly thrilled about having to squeeze Leonie into an already busy schedule. Especially when they normally don't do lab-work at all in the afternoons...

Leonie is sent to the waiting room with the remark: "Have a seat... this may take a while, I hope you brought time with you..."

While she is looking for a seat, she gets very upset with her father. He must have lied to her - despite his promise to tell the truth: Such a 'obliging' behavior on the part of the doctor can certainly not be bought with the equivalent of a bouquet of flowers: No doctor messes up the schedule 'just because' of one patient! That must have been a big bouquet. A damn big bouquet full of banknotes and...



Leonie's brain shuts down. Thoughts just cease to exist. Anger at the father? Faded away. How she managed to sit down without landing on the floor between two chairs must forever remain a mystery.

There's a girl in the waiting room. A few years younger than herself. Maybe 12 or 13 years old? An ordinary girl of ordinary braces-age in an ordinary waiting room of an ordinary orthodontist. So basically, a completely normal patient. Only one small detail makes this girl stand out from the others: a silver metal bow stretches around her face!

Leonie's eyes are as big as saucers. This is the first time she's ever seen another person wearing headgear. At Dr. Krämer, her first orthodontist, she had been prescribed such a brace. But she hadn't seen anyone else with it. Neither at any of the other doctors. Until she met Susanne just under a week ago, she hadn't even KNOWN anyone else who had to wear such a brace.

She now knows about Susanne, even if her headgear days are long behind her. And now there's this girl who needs headgear too. And they both see the same orthodontist. Susanne and this girl are with Dr. Klein!

»And... and I'm with Dr. Klein AS WELL now..."

The fact that Susanne had to wear headgear half a dozen years ago shows that Dr. Klein had used headgear back then. And this girl... she's the best proof that Dr. Klein is STILL using headgear today...

»But I don't need headgear. That's so mean!«



Leonie is so lost in thought that she doesn't even notice that she's staring at girl opposite her in a downright boorish manner. The girl looks away embarrassed when Leonie's eyes latch onto her much more obtrusive than Leonie's schoolmates had done to her a few days ago.

When she finally notices, Leonie blushes and quickly averts her eyes. »Oh damn. That was stupid.« Now she's done exactly what she absolutely hates other people doing to her.

Should she apologize or will that just make things worse? Leonie doesn't know if the girl would accept her apology. She can only speak for herself. And Leonie knows that she could do without an apology in this situation:

When all her classmates stared at her after Art class on Monday, all she wanted was for the staring to stop. Her classmates could have apologized as much as they wanted, she would not have cared. The girl probably feels the same way. She probably just wants Leonie to stop staring.

But... but that's next to impossible! Leonie's heart beats in her throat. This is the first time she's ever seen another person wearing headgear. Pictures and videos on the internet do not count. Neither does looking in the mirror. This is a real person.

She looks over at the girl out of the corner of her eye, only to avert her gaze immediately after, because she realizes that the girl is now looking over at her. Probably to see if she's still being stared at.



»That girl has to wear headgear too, just like Susanne and I. If... wait a minute!« Leonie laughs dryly. Damn! What was she thinking? »The girl has to wear headgear 'as well'?« Did she really just think that? 'AS WELL'?

»Damn! 'As well' my ass!« She sighs: »That girl over there has to wear headgear. Susanne had one, too. As did I myself A LONG AGO. For a short time! But NOT anymore! Damn!«

Not only does she NO longer HAVE to wear headgear, she SHOULD NOT even wear it at all. If Dr. Klein were to find out about it, she would surely take the headgear away. No, unfortunately she herself is not one of the 'lucky ones' who are supposed to wear a brace like that. That is so unfair!

It's clear that her counterpart isn't as enthusiastic about it. It is more than clear to see that the girl would have preferred to already be done with her appointment. Which - of course - also has to do with the fact that Leonie keeps staring at her.



Leonie considers whether she can start a conversation with the girl or whether she should rather leave the girl alone. She would love to know more and is feverishly looking for a suitable excuse. But it's not easy to find one.

After all, Leonie can't say: »I have to wear headgear too, I know what you're going through.« Why should this girl  care about someone else having to wear headgear? She wouldn't! Apart from that: That would be a lie. And if one of the assistants overheard that, there would certainly be trouble with Dr. Klein.

If she stayed closer to the truth: »I used to have to wear headgear as well and hated it just as much as you do now«, the girl would be even less interested in that!

No, no matter how hard she tries to find a reason to approach the girl, Leonie can't think of anything. At least nothing that wouldn't come across as very odd. And that doesn't have to be. As much as she wanted to talk to the other girl, Leonie would inevitably cast a bad light on herself.

So: Better not. Maybe she shouldn't approach the girl. If they had both been the same age, it would have made things a lot easier. Then Leonie could have found some starting point. Something along the lines of: »I've only been living here for a few days. What is there for people of our age to do around here? Is there somewhere to go in the evening, or is there nothing going on?« Of course, that's not possible when the other girl is much younger. No: It's really better if she shuts up!

For a few seconds, Leonie is caught between »Don't stare« and »Can I watch her out of the corner of my eye without her noticing?«



Then it goes 'ding-dong'. The eyes of everyone present lift automatically and look at the huge monitor above the registration. The next moment the girl with the headgear has slid off her chair and rushes out of the waiting room, relieved.

Leonie can read on the monitor: »Maria Z. - Room 3«

She can hardly put her disappointment into words. No sooner had she 'met' another person with headgear than that girl disappeared again. She doesn't know anything about her 'fellow sufferer' apart from her first name.

As small as the chances are, Leonie resolves to look out for the girl at her school. Of course she doesn't even know if this Maria goes to the same school. But she still wants to look for her. Maybe she can still find the girl and then ask her a few things?

And when Leonie wears her headgear in school, then suddenly they have a thing in common: Along the lines of: »I saw at Dr. Klein that you wear headgear. As you can see, I have one as well... May I ask you if you also have problems sleeping with it? No? What did YOU do about it?«



The other patients are not interesting for Leonie. Two boys, the same age as this Maria. So, twelve years old or thereabouts. Typical braces-age. A girl about two years younger than herself. And an adult, maybe 40 years old. Leonie cannot say whether this is a patient or a mother waiting for her child. However, the question is answered quickly, because shortly after a young girl comes out of one of the treatment rooms and beckons her mother over to the reception area.

Leonie feverishly awaits the return of the girl with the headgear. She fervently hopes that she will not be called before the girl returns.

And Leonie is in luck. And out of luck at the same time. Because Maria indeed returns to the reception after a surprisingly short time. Only she is no longer wearing her headgear but has stowed it away in a bag. Leonie is disappointed. She is even more disappointed when she cannot understand, when Maria has her next appointment. And a lot more disappointed Leonie becomes when she - now with pricked up ears - understands from the girl's conversation with the receptionist, that Maria goes to a school here in Fischbach. A pity. Damn shame.

When the practice door closes behind Maria, Leonie realizes that this may very well be the first, last and only time that she will see another person with headgear.

The two boys are called in quick succession. And then the other girl. New patients have now come in, so the waiting room is still full. Unfortunately, nobody is here who interests Leonie.



In the course of the next few minutes, Leonie comes to the realization that perhaps - all things considered - it is better that she doesn't have any contact with this Maria. As damn a shame as it is, Leonie wouldn't have felt comfortable talking to the - much younger - girl.

Especially since they have nothing in common apart from headgear. And not even that: The one girl has to wear headgear and clearly can't stand it. The other one would like to wear headgear, but the orthodontist does not prescribe one for her.

If Maria had been the same age, it might have been a different matter. Leonie would still have been extremely nervous, for fear of revealing her fetish. But maybe they could have 'informally' chatted a bit.

But the biggest obstacle to that is the age difference of five to six years between herself and the other girl. And that's a lot. Even if Leonie doesn't feel 'grown up': she herself is now 18. The other girl is still a child. There is only one reason why Leonie is interested in this Maria: Because the girl has to wear headgear. And that ... that's not a good reason, Leonie has to admit that herself. It doesn't feel right to seek contact with this girl just because of her braces fetish.

A 'ding-dong!' snaps her out of her thoughts. Her eyes rest nervously on the screen. Then she feels her legs move on their own: »Leonie W. - Laboratory«



An hour later her cell phone beeps: A message from her father: »What's happening on your side? Shall I come and pick you up? Dad«

Sitting in the waiting room again, Leonie types: »Impressions etc. have been made; but I'm not done yet. How about you? Are you done? L.«

The father replies a short time later: »Not yet either. But I'm happy to come and fetch you! Dad«

Leonie's answer is: »You don't have to! Dr. Klein wants to explain the preliminary treatment plan to me. But she doesn't know when she will find time for it. So, I have to wait. You don't need to hurry. I'll let you know when I'm done! L.«

»PS: Dr. Klein looked at the x-rays: I don't have cancer ;-) And no other unexpected tooth movement either!«

Chapter 49/56 - Change of direction

The rest of the drive home is silent. The road conditions become the more precarious the smaller the villages get, that they drive through. And in Thalfeld, he really has to concentrate on the road.

Luckily, it doesn't take long to park the car in front of the house, climb the steps to the second floor and take off their wet clothes. Finally, both are sitting in the kitchen.

"Are you still cold? Would you like some tea?"

"I'm freezing!" Leonie nods. "With lots of honey." Then she remembers something: "Do you have to leave again or are you done for today?"

"I'm staying here. We didn't get as far as we hoped, but it wouldn't make sense to go back for an hour now. We'll start full force on Monday instead." He hesitates for a moment: "Besides, I think there's a discussion that we should have instead. That's far more important!"

"The prototype they put together is complete crap? Or why is it taking so long?"

"No, surprisingly it's... well... it's not 'useable' yet, otherwise they wouldn't have asked for my advice. But it's better than I feared."

"What does that thing even do?"

Her father is amazed - and also a little pleased - that Leonie is interested in his work. But then he realizes that it's not about the prototype - or his work - per se. It's just that his daughter is looking for a way to change the subject, to get her mind off things. And so, he explains to her - in a simplified way - which products the company manufactures and what the prototype should be able to do later.

"And you think you can do it in half a year? That they can do without you afterwards? Can you do it?"

"That the product will then be ready for series production? No, that won't happen. But that's not really my job either, Leonie. I'm 'only' the consultant. My job is to guide people on the right path, so that they then can continue on their own. And now that I've seen the work they've done so far... I'm confident that at least it won't end in total disaster."

So the conversation goes on for some time. They talk about everything under the sun but orthodontic treatment.



In the meantime, Leonie gets herself a blanket from the living room and snuggles into it. "You're still cold, child?", the father sounds surprised. "You have to be careful not to catch a cold!" He also makes her a new cup of steaming hot tea.

At some point it's time to take care of the food. "Do you want to have a late lunch and a small dinner tonight, or should we skip lunch altogether and bring dinner forward instead?"

"Neither," Leonie finally has a grin on her face again, even if it still looks dejected: "I'd like us to skip dinner and push lunch back!"

"What did I do to deserve such a smart-ass daughter?" he sighs.

"Only the best for my dad."

"The good mood is back? Or has at least the bad mood gone?" He is obviously relieved that his little daughter is no longer sulking.



They have decided not to have a hot lunch/dinner. Even if Leonie is still cold, she doesn't feel like a hot stew or anything like that. And since they still have plenty of cold cuts in the fridge, why not have a 'hearty Brotzeit instead? With everything that goes with it? Cold cuts, sausages, cheese and ham. Fresh bread. Radishes, tomatoes and gherkins. And why not carrot and cucumber sticks with an herb-quark-dip. Homemade of course? "Does that sound good, child?"

"Dad, you really didn't do anything behind my back?"   

The father nods. The constant questions are slowly starting to get to his nerves. Or rather, THIS ONE question is slowly starting to annoy him. How many times does he have to affirm that he's innocent before his daughter finally believes him?

Leonie licks her lips. "I just don't know what... I'd love to think I really need to wear headgear... but..."

"What's stopping you? Can you explain that to me?"

"Dr. Klein said yesterday that I didn't need one. That everything could be done with braces and elastics. You were there and heard that too!" Your father can indeed recall that.

"And today she suddenly comes up with the fact that I NEED headgear after all... That sounds so... improbable!" She laughs dryly: "Just like my excuses at school. When I realize that my house of cards is collapsing a little further and that I have to change my story real quick to get out of it."

She takes the sausage and other things out of the fridge and starts arranging them on a plate. Meanwhile, the father is cutting the bread. He asks: "Why do you think Dr. Klein had to change her 'story' so suddenly?"

"Because yesterday she didn't know yet that she could get a lot of money if she dances to our tune?"

The father nods in understanding: "You mean that I 'bribed' her? I admit that sounds plausible."

Leonie's eyes widen. "But... you said..."

"There's just one problem, kid." He interrupts his daughter. "No, actually there are two problems: First, I would have to have offered Dr. Klein money to do what I wanted. But I didn't do that. And second, I would then have to tell Dr. Klein what my 'wishes' are in the first place. And I've promised you repeatedly that I haven't told anyone."

His daughter's mouth opens. And closes again a second later. She doesn't find a suitable reply. What her father said sounds so terribly logical. If it's true!



"Didn't she give you a reason why you should suddenly wear headgear again?"

"Yes, she did." Leonie shrugs her shoulders: "And I have to admit that what she said sounds plausible! But..." She does not finish the sentence.

"But?" the father asks.

"I can also come up with damn good excuses if I have to. Especially if I'm regularly handed a banknote."

"But I've already told you several times...", he sounds actually annoyed now.

Leonie waves it off. "I know, Dad, I know. I believe you, too. Still, why else would she have changed her mind so suddenly?"

"Well, I definitely didn't tell her anything! So, if Dr. Klein actually found out from somewhere that you want to wear headgear..." The father pauses for effect: "...then she must have found out from YOU!"

Leonie laughs out loud: "Absolutely not. I'm not that stupid. If I had told them: »Dr. Klein, may I please wear headgear?« They would have kicked me out!"

"I'm not saying that you told her directly. But maybe something accidentally slipped out?"

"Certainly not today. I know that for sure! And you were there yesterday, Dad. If you were Dr. Klein, would you have known what was going on?"

Her father shakes his head. "And somewhere on Facebook, Instagram and what all that stuff is called? Did you write anything there that Dr. Klein might have gotten her hands on?"

His daughter shakes her head: "I don't have Instagram and stuff, only Facebook. And I'm very careful not to post something like that there, because all my friends could see it, and I don't want that. There's no picture on the entire Internet of me in headgear or something like that!"

"If she knows it neither from you nor from me, then Dr. Klein can't have known about your preference. And then that can't be why you should wear headgear now. It's as simple as that, kid."

Leonie almost feels compelled to nod. The way her father put it, that's the only logical conclusion.

Sausages, cheese and ham have now been prepared. The father takes a critical look at the amount of bread he had sliced: it's better to cut a few slices too few than let the bread get stale and hard! One can always cut more bread!

The father starts washing the vegetables and then cutting them into strips. Meanwhile, Leonie begins to lay the table.

Chapter 51/56 - Developments

Warning: This chapter is VERY long! And even more confusing. At least I had a knot in my brain when I wrote this chapter. And I still made logical errors. When I came back to patch them, even more parts of my brain twisted themselves into knots. And when they were finally unraveled, this chapter had grown into a monstrosity. I don't like this chapter at all, but I don't find the energy to edit it AGAIN either.

I have tried to provide a summary at the very end of this chapter. You are excused to skip this chapter and to read only the summary.

"Dr. Krämer had prescribed you headgear at the beginning of your treatment. Was it also a 'dream' for you back then?"

Leonie laughs: "Yes. But more of a 'bad dream'. Oh, how I hated that thing!"

"But you got it. Because Dr. Krämer thought you needed it."

"What are you getting at, dad?"

"You have been explaining to me over the past few months that you've started wearing the headgear again because you trusted him more than the other orthodontists. But why DID you trust him more? And if you had believed Dr. Krämer, then why don't you now also believe Dr. Klein?"

That's a good question. That's a damn good question. The question is SO good that Leonie has no idea how to answer it. "I... uh... you know, dad, I haven't even thought about that."

A few seconds pass, then a few more. Then a minute has passed and Leonie still hasn't answered the question. "That wasn't an excuse, dad. I really thought I needed headgear. No doctor prescribes a brace like that lightly. If Dr. Krämer has wanted me to wear something like that, then he must have had good reasons for it."

Her father objects, "But the orthodontists after him didn't put you in headgear. Three orthodontists where you didn't have to wear headgear compared to one where you actually were supposed to wear it. The odds are against it."

"The ratio is NOT 3:1, Dad!" contradicts his daughter: "Dr. Reinhard hadn't even examined me properly. He was just glad when we left. We shouldn't count him in. So, if you ARE counting, then that's a ratio of 2:1!"

"Granted. But that still speaks against headgear."

"But not so strongly anymore, dad! I just thought that the two orthodontists didn't want to burden me with headgear. Or that they didn't use it or something like that. But I actually always thought that I needed headgear."

She then shakes her head hesitantly. She looks questioningly at her father. "No, I don't think that's true? Is it?"

He has to shrug his shoulders. "I can't answer THAT question for you. You know that much better than I do."

"That's the problem: I don't know either. It's still so confusing for me. And when I understand some things, then I can't really put them into words...", she shrugs her shoulders again and then grins: "I'm already getting a knot in my brain by just thinking about it. If I have to explain that to you on top of that... Uff! Don't expect that this will make a lot of sense to you!"

"We'll see," he notes with a smile.



"Let's see: As long as I was with Dr. Krämer, it was clear, what was going on. I mean: I HAD headgear. And I was supposed to wear it. But when we left Dr. Krämer - and moved to Berlin - I was crazy happy when the next doctor freed me from the stupid thing." She tries to remember that time. "I had put it away relieved and didn't give it a single thought. Well: Except for the fact that I was happy time and time again that I didn't have to wear it anymore!" She then grins. "So far, so clear?"

Her father nods.

"And then we moved to Munich. I still remember that I was terribly nervous when we went to the doctor. I was scared that he might ask me to wear headgear again. And that I was very relieved, when he started treating me without putting headgear on me again."

"So, you mean that it all started after that?"

"Must be." She scratches her head embarrassed. "I think so. At least - when we had just moved to Munich - I didn't want anything to do with my headgear. I was glad that I didn't have to wear it. But that was it."

She grins lopsided: "I think, back then I was still 'normal'". She thinks for a few seconds. "But... I think it all must have indeed started shortly after."

"How did that manifest itself, if I may ask?"

"It was like this: I got kind of... well... 'restless'. I can't really explain to you, how and why. I just had a weird feeling. Which got stronger every time we went to the orthodontist. Without me ever understanding, what it meant. I can't even tell you if it really was related to the fetish. It was just a weird feeling, OK?"

The father asks "Was this feeling positive or negative?"

"Negative. That's why I'm not sure if it had anything to do with the fetish. I just felt uncomfortable. It wasn't until we moved to Kiel that I 'understood' what this 'anxiousness' meant to me: That I hadn't trusted the doctor in Munich. And that I had started in the meantime to believe that Dr. Krämer might've been right about his treatment. That maybe I need headgear. And that therefore I should start wearing it again."

"Why's that?"

"Because I somehow had the feeling that my treatment would not progress otherwise, or at least not progress as much as was possible. Because the doctor in Munich hadn't done a good job or something."

"You were really worried about that, child?" asks the father. "You could have discussed that with me. Or didn't you dare?"

Leonie shakes her head: "You misunderstand: I've never 'actively' worried about it. If it happened at all the way I'm explaining to you now: Then it was completely subconsciously! I was just anxious at the time without being able to say why. It would have been impossible to discuss that with you: »Dad, I'm nervous!«, »Why is that?«, »I don't know!« THAT wouldn't have helped."

She shrugs her shoulders: "I just imagine NOW that it must have happened somewhat like that BACK THEN. Without knowing if it REALLY happened like that!"



Her father nods. "I remember that you weren't enthusiastic about your treatment after we moved to Kiel. Now I understand, why that was the case: if you had subconsciously started to doubt your treatment, it's clear why you were insecure. But can you tell me, WHY you started doubting?"

Leonie nods. "I believe that it must have started in Munich - that is, with the third orthodontist. Slowly but surely, I must have - subconsciously - come to the conclusion, that I had to do more for my treatment. More than just wearing these glued-on braces and waiting for the orthodontist to come to an end. But it was only in Kiel that I apparently got the idea that this 'doing more' meant me wearing my headgear again."

"That's why I strapped the thing back on - reluctantly - and was amazed that it wasn't as bad as I remembered. It wasn't 'fun' yet. But at least it wasn't as bad as I had remembered. Let's put it this way: I suddenly could bear to wear it for a few hours. "

She thinks for a few seconds. "That's when I started wearing that thing again off-and-on. »It's a good thing it's getting easier and easier for me to wear my stupid headgear« Or something like that I thought at first. And it was only over time that I realized it was indeed more than that."

"So, you think, that was the beginning of your 'fascination'?"

"I think so," replies Leonie with a red face. "When I think back: It just got easier and easier to wear the brace. And at some point, it was so easy that it didn't bother me anymore. And THEN it started, to even be 'fun'. »Yay, that's awesome«, I thought, »I'm doing something good for my teeth and it's fun on top of that.«"

She laughs almost in disbelief. "At some point, I finally realized that wearing a brace like that shouldn't be fun at all. Normally EVERYONE complains about it. With the exception of MYSELF. I think, THAT was the time when I had to realize that ...well...that my fetish had got the better of me."

The father nods: "It probably made things easier at first to explain to me - but also to yourself - why you are now wearing headgear again. Your 'fascination' can then be justified more easily. That you're wearing that brace again is easier to accept when you feel you actually HAVE to wear the device."

"Probably," his daughter nods.

"And the more you subconsciously told yourself this, the more you believed in it. And then it became easier to accept why it's even fun now. After all, you're doing something 'good' for yourself. And it's OK to be happy about that."

"What are you getting at, Dad? Are you doing a course as a psychiatrist on the side?"

He smiles. "Not at all. After what you just told me, I just think it's logical."

"Maybe," Leonie has to admit.