Any comments would be greatly appreciated.

How about the title, "I Didn't Expect This".

There are a few hints about what the story is going to be about in the chapter you posted. There are spacers between most of the teeth, hinting at banded braces. Extreme braces and non-compliance are also mentioned, and the speed that all of it is happening is also a factor.

Take the story in whatever direction you want to and have fun with it. I'll add it to TheArchive as you write more of it.

An interesting start the fact that the person it's about doesn't really want braces could lead to some unusual appliances being used but it's your story  just ho with the flow see what happens

Really exciting prologue.

I hope you will develop this story soon!

Chapter Two

I did not think much of the fact that my friend had to go to my appointments, as it made sense as they referred me. My spacers hurt like shit, so we went to a smoothie bar to get something soft. We did not talk about orthodontics, and it was pretty enjoyable. After two days, I hardly felt the spacers, but they were still a pain in the backside.

On the day of the next appointment, Grace, my friend, came to my house. The fitting was scheduled for 10:00 AM, but the receptionist said I had to be there 10 minutes early for every appointment. As it was a 20- minute drive, I was a bit nervous when my friend pulled up to my house at 10:32.

We drove to the orthodontic office, and I got admitted to the waiting room. At 10:00 on the nose, I got called into the treatment area. As the assistant was laying me down in the chair, Dr. Schmidt came in and hugged Grace. He went to his office to talk with her, and the assistant got started on me by giving my teeth a thorough cleaning and taking out the spacers.

According to my watch, Grace and Dr. Schmidt were in the office for about 35 minutes. When they came back, Dr. Schmidt explained what my contract said. He said that I gave my friend all responsibility for my treatment, and it would make me be in braces for at least four years. It also said I was on the compliance-assured program.

He told the assistant to get a few things. They got brought in on a covered tray that looked like a mountain. I felt sure that that would not all go in my mouth. However, when Dr. Schmidt asked if I wanted to get sedated, as this was uncomfortable, I because less sure about that. I agreed to being sedated, and he brought in a gas mask. The last thing I saw before I drifted off was a sadistic smile on Dr. Schmidt's face.

We'll see how good of a friend Grace is! Wow, can't wait to read more!

Sorry for the wait, a new chapter is here. I would like to thank Cassandra for giving me an idea for this chapter. On that note…

Chapter 3

When Grace shakes me awake, I see her and Dr. Schmidt smiling at me. I am still reclined in the chair, and I feel a poking on the tip of my tongue. Dr. Schmidt starts explaining my braces.

"I started you off with fixed upper and lower braces with bands with large brackets on them on your premolars back. You should feel a poking on your tongue; that is the tongue spurs that you have. You are required to turn your upper and lower expanders every day by Grace here. If you miss a day, which I feel confident that you won't, don't do two the next day. I also put bite blocks behind your lower teeth to help your teeth move easier. In addition, you have combo headgear to be worn for AT LEAST 18 hours each day.
I am now going to show you and Grace how to put in and take out the headgear. I will show Grace how to turn the expanders, and you should go to the front desk to make an appointment for three weeks."

After Dr. Schmidt showed me how to put in and take out my facebow, he dismissed me to go make an appointment.
At that point, I went to the receptionist to try to make an appointment for three weeks. When I walk up, she asks me what my name is and when my next appointment should be. I say my name, or at least try to. It comes out more like Shohia Cawlthon, and she manages to get Sophia Carlson out of the mess. I also accidentally spit in her face, and my face turns red with embarrassment. I tell her three weeks, then wait for Grace to come back.

By the time she comes in, I am ready to go to her car. We go to her house because she has more soft food than I have. As soon as we get into her apartment, I cry my eyes out. She comforts me and asks if I want lunch. Over lunch, we have a conversation.

G: As you know, I am an Ophthalmologist, and you are well past due for an eye and ear check-up. At my office, there is a very competent audiologist. We could go there tomorrow if you want.
S: Sure. I don't care.
G: Also, Dr. Schmidt said that you would have a lot of pain for the first week, and you should take Acemetophin or Ibuprofin.
S: After lunch, I will do that.
G: I will schedule an eye exam and audio exam for tomorrow.

That night, I had trouble falling asleep from the pain in my braces and the headgear that is very uncomfortable for a side sleeper like me.