Jim rushed to Tara and wrapped her in a hug. He just held her, neither saying a word. Finally, he said simply "I am so sorry."
Tara replied "it is my fault."
Jim squeezed her tighter and said "no baby, it is not your fault at all. It was that man's fault. He was evil. It is his fault. Not yours."
Tara battled back "but if I hadn't asked Marcus to help me carry my bags, he would have been there in the lobby when he entered. He could have stopped him. Instead, Marcus is dead. Our UPS driver is dead. Julie is dying. It is my fault." She again began to cry, just as she had when Beverly had explained to them what had happened. That a deranged individual had shown up to kill her, to assassinate Beverly Willingham because she was running for governor. Because of her political party.
Beverly had explained that the gunman had entered the lobby and pulled out a handgun. He had demanded Julie buzz him through. When she refused he shot her twice. Those were the initial gunshots everyone had heard. It had been horrible timing for their UPS delivery driver to enter the lobby at that moment, unable to hear the gunshots due to the thick glass doors and ear buds he was wearing. The gunman had turned and shot him without a word. At that time, Marcus had burst into the lobby and engaged the gunman. That was the volley of shots they had heard. Marcus was mortally wounded, but he had still managed to take down the gunman. While severely wounded though, the gunman was still alive. Beverly had explained that somehow, despite her grave injuries, Julie had somehow had the strength to retrieve her own gun from her purse. It had been Julie who had fired the fatal shot.
While it was obvious to everyone, Beverly had explained that Julie and Marcus were both heroes. She told them that Julie was currently in intensive care, still receiving treatment for her injuries. Beverly said she would provide more updates as they became available. Beverly had announced that the offices would be closed for the rest of the week and that they had arranged for grief counselors to be available. She encouraged everyone to take advantage of them. She also explained that the firm would be reviewing their security plans to ensure nothing like this could ever happen again. Before dismissing everyone from the conference room where law enforcement had gathered them as they investigated, Beverly looked at the group solemnly. She said "I am so sorry about this. Words are inadequate to express the grief we all feel. It is a tragedy. But we will make it through this. But for now, go and be with your families."
As Jim held her, Tara replayed Beverly's words in her head. She realized that Jim was her family. She hugged him back, her tears darkening his shirt.
That night, Tara had seemed distant. Jim didn't press her to talk. He had helped her onto the couch so she would be more comfortable, and he sat beside her holding her hand. He told her that he was there, he would always be there, and that when she was ready to talk about it he would be there for her. He thought he could feel the sadness radiating from Tara, it was a palpable feeling. Almost like the feeling he had felt earlier in the day, that he knew something horrible was going to happen. He had not told Tara about this yet. He knew he would when the time was right, but he didn't think that time was now. Finally he had felt Tara relax and lay her head on his shoulder. She said "I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. All I wanted to do was talk to you. But I couldn't. I didn't have my cell phone. It was in my purse in the hallway. Marcus had been carrying it for me to my office when he heard the shots. He dropped it and screamed at me to get in my office and lock the door. He had also been carrying my computer bag. He dropped it too. Baby, when I got in my office I wanted to call you. But I didn't know your number. I am so sorry. I promise I have memorized it now."
Jim said softly "you have nothing to apologize for." He thought of what to say next before adding "I am sorry. I was not there to protect you. The idea that something had happened to you was the most gut wrenching feeling I have ever felt. But you are safe. How about we set up a time to go talk with one of the counselors? I think it would be good for both of us."
Tara had snuggled closer to him before saying "ok, that would be good." She surprised him with what she said next. She said "I want to get a gun. I want you to teach me how to use it."
Jim responded "of course baby. I should have already done that. Again, that is my fault."
Tara squeezed his hand and said "can we go to bed, it has been a long day."
Jim leaned around her and kissed her on the forehead. He said "of course baby."
As he helped her get comfortable in bed, getting her casted legs in their slings, she said "you forgot to help me put on my CTO."
Jim said "I thought maybe you would be more comfortable without it."
Tara said "no, I need to wear it. Plus, it feels weird not wearing it."
As Jim helped her put her neck brace on, he was turned on. He knew he shouldn't be considering the circumstances, but he couldn't help it. But he didn't act on it. As he attached the elastics from Tara's CTO mask to the hooks in her mouth, he wanted her badly. But he knew that was selfish of him. After he had gotten her brace and elastics secured, he fluffed up the pillows and slid one under her head and another under her neck. Her head was held immobile, Tara staring at the ceiling. He leaned in over her and smiled at her. He asked "comfy enough?"
Tara stared back at him a moment. She was conflicted. She couldn't understand how she was feeling what she was at the moment. Not after everything that had happened that day. But she thought maybe that was why she was feeling what she felt. She said "no."
Jim had cocked his head and asked "what is it? What do you need me to do?"
Tara hesitated before she said "I need you to make love to me."
Jim was surprised. Tara was feeling the same urge he was. He said "of course baby."
As he reached his hand out towards her elastics she stopped him, saying "no, leave it."
The next day Tara had been bombarded with texts and calls from people checking on her, asking her what had happened. News of the assassination attempt was dominating the news. Tara felt fatigued by it all. She didn't want to think about it. To have to relive it in her head. But she had no choice. She had gotten one call that she was glad to get. It had been from Beverly. Beverly had told Tara that Julie was doing better. The doctors had managed to save her life. She was still in critical care, and while she had a long road ahead of her, it looked like she would recover. Tara had one request, that Beverly let her know as soon as she was allowed to have visitors. Beverly assured her she would be the first to know.
That evening Tara and Jim were surprised to hear the doorbell ring. Jim looked at the image from his ring camera and saw Marc, Alex, Aubrey and Tim standing on his doorstep. They were all wearing their headgear, not that Aubrey and Tim had a choice. Alex was holding a box and smiling at the camera. Jim said "I will be right there."
Tara looked at him and asked "who is it?"
Jim smiled and said "Alex, Marc, Aubrey and her boyfriend."
Tara said "Tim. What are they doing here?"
Jim said "I am guessing they came to see you. I will let them in."
Tara said "I will go with you."
As soon as Jim opened the door, Alex thrust the box into his arms and rushed towards Tara. As she wrapped her in a hug Alex said "bae I am so sorry. We have all been thinking about you since yesterday." As she let go of Tara she gestured towards the box and said "everyone at the office has."
They sat around Jim's living room talking and visiting. The fruit basket that had been in the box was sitting on the kitchen table. Beside it was the giant chocolate chip cookie that had accompanied it. It was already half eaten. Jim was glad that their guests seemed to intentionally avoid the topic of the shooting. Instead the main topics had been the upcoming trip to New Orleans for the AAO annual conference and Aubry and Tim's new headgear. Aubrey had seemed almost proud of hers, Tim not so much. Alex had also told Tara about Dr. Abby coming on board fulltime. She had looked at Jim and told him "you better get our new office built fast."
Jim had laughed before responding "I will, but I won't take any shortcuts or cut any corners." The doorbell rang again.
As Jim pulled out his phone Alex said "I bet that is Dr. Andi and Abby. Abby had an appointment with Dr. Morales this afternoon but they still wanted to come by and check on you Tara. I will get the door."
Alex escorted the pair into the living room. Tara was not surprised to see Andi wearing her Miller headgear. In fact, Tara couldn't recall seeing her without it. But she was surprised by Dr. Abby. Tara had only met her briefly when she had gotten her protraction rods removed by Dr. Miller prior to her halo removal. That day Dr. Abby had not had any apparent orthodontia. And she certainly wasn't wearing any orthopedic devices. But here in Jim's living room she certainly was. On her face was a bright lime green Petit facemask. From her mouth emerged a modified facebow like Margaret Stone wore. And like hers, Abby's had two stainless springs stretching from the ends of it to the bar on her facemask. While unusual, Tara realized she was used to seeing people wearing orthodontic headgear. But the rest she was not used to.
Abby was wearing light pink running shorts and a white tank top. But much of her top was obscured by the shiny stainless steel and white plastic Milwaukee brace she wore on top of it. As Tara looked at Abby, Tara realized how uncomfortable Abby looked. Tara couldn't blame her. The brace she was wearing held Abby's torso unnaturally erect. In addition, the white plastic vest cruelly compressed her waist. The plastic and steel neck ring held her head up at an extreme angle, Tara doubted she could even see the floor in front of her feet. There were two straps with pads that wrapped around her sides, the one on her left just above the edge of her plastic vest and the one on her right just below her right breast. But the most uncomfortable part looked to be the two rings encircling her shoulders. They apparently were hooked to the back of her brace and were pulling her shoulders back more than Tara thought would have been possible. Tara thought it had to be uncomfortable. But that wasn't all that Abby was dealing with. On each of her arms she had a lime green long arm thumb spicas, the color matching her facemask. Tara wondered what in the world had happened to Dr. Abby.
As if reading her mind, Andi smiled at her and said "Tara! So good to see you! We just wanted to stop by and tell you we are thinking about you. I will speak for Dr. Abby. In addition to getting her new tongue crib today, Dr. Morales began treating her scoliosis with this awesome new Milwaukee brace. She even integrated a few new ideas such as these adjustable shoulder cuffs to treat Abby's kyphosis. We are going to loosen them during the day so it is easier for her to work. But in her off time we can exert maximum corrective force. And I don't think Abby will mind me telling you, she is after all an orthodontist, that in addition to having a mild tongue thrust, she also still sucks her thumb at night. Tsk, tsk! These new casts will prevent her from doing that."
Tara looked at poor Abby. She looked miserable. And now she looked mortified. Tara said "well you look great Dr. Abby. Good for you, I bet you will be done with your treatment in no time."
Andi smiled. Tara thought it was a hard callous smile. Andi said "we hope so. But Dr. Morales did warn her that even after her two to three year corrective phase, where she will need to wear her brace for 22 hours a day, she may need to continue to wear it for maintenance for the rest of her life. But she would only need to wear it for 12 to 14 hours a day then. But by then, I bet she is so used to it she may just decide to wear it all the time. Plus she just makes the cutest little robot, don't you think? Dr. Morales said the rest of her brace, the hip component, will be ready next week just in time for the AAO. And after the conference we will begin lengthening her leg. I know that Abby is excited about that."
Tara noticed a tear slide down Abby's face. With her casted arms, she couldn't reach up and wipe her face. Andi noticed and reached over, wiping her pet's face. Andi said "come on Abby, I am going to take such good care of you. This will be so much fun."
