I live in a very hot city in the southern end of Africa. I've never seen real "snow" until shortly after my 40th birthday, when I went to Europe for the first time.. "cold" to me means about 22 degrees Celsius. At fifteen degrees C I get seriously uncomfortable, and "deep winter" means it may go down to maybe 12 degrees at around 2 in the morning - this guy here is not used to what Europeans and Americans will call "cold".
Now, to backtrack a bit - like most of you people here, I have more than a medical interest in braces. I was in braces for 11 years between the ages of 12 and 30. Five of those, I had to wear headgear. The only way to cope with that amount of orthodontic abuse, is to develop a fetish for it. Now that I'm a grown man, i still have lots of problems with my teeth and jaws. I'll have to wear a retainer for the rest of my life. But I also have a real - but not needed - headgear, for shall we say, recreational and "keep me sane" purposes. I don't wear it often, but as strange as it may sound, when my head starts to go a bit crazy, and I feel a bit floaty, getting myself geared up is a good way to get grounded again. I cannot explain why, but that's the fact.
And so it happens that my wife's family, who lives in Germany, invites us halfway around the world for a ski holiday in Austria. Of course this is very exciting for me. So we fly off to Europe from our wonderful sunny summer in December, and go to a freezing cold Austria. Where we are met with chaos. 11 people living in the same apartment - all family members - and me the only one who cannot speak German, and only 5 who can speak some broken English. The exotic location of the trip is fast lost on me when I'm overwhelmed by too many people in too small a space, and no one to talk to.
And there goes my head. I feel a bit crazy. A bit irritated with life, and I know I need to "earth" myself again. But how? I cannot gear up in front of the family. That will just be odd and add to the chaos which I'm trying to avoid. And this is where the "I'm not used to cold" bit comes in. The little ski-resort town near Salzburg hardly goes above freezing! It is insanely cold! I've experienced cold like this only once in my life before, and only for four days. My African ass is freezing! I'm covered in more layers than a bag of onions.
This is where the penny drops... I go into the bathroom, and I put on my headgear. I put on a little wool cap, and a scarf. Both of which hide the headgear quite well! I can go out in this! And to make life a bit more interesting, I wear two layers of gloves. A thin glove liner, and over it, a thicker ski glove. This will make sure my fingers are not as dextrous as they could be, and there will be no way for me to take off the headgear with these gloves on.
And this is how I leave the apartment, and go out into the streets of a ski resort! I walked around merrily for a few hours with my headgear, mingling with the locals and holiday-makers, nobody knowing what's hidden under the scarf and cap but me! And not being able to remove it without casting suspicion on myself and battling through the gloves, just added a little more to the adventure. I can go into a shop, but I cannot remove my scarf. no way for me to go eat or go grab a beer without being suspicious, or revealing myself. This was a lot of fun!
And every now and then, walking the streets, I'll pull down the scarf to reveal the silverware sticking out form my mouth, just to enjoy the thrill a bit more!
And this is how I enjoyed a secret, public headgear adventure on the other side of the world on new year's day!
Now I'm thinking - surely I cannot be the only person who has ever done something like this?
